Found grinder on daughters phone

[Renaxkta]

As above really… I found grinder on my 17 y/o DD’s phone. Has anyone got an idea as to what she might be doing with such an app. It’s for gay men, right!!?

So trans people are allowed to find other transpeople ,but lesbians looking for lesbians is not allowed and is harmful and discriminatory?

Fucks sake.

I thought it was for gay men too... but a quick google search says it serves the LGBTQ community.

Despite this I'd imagine its overwhelmingly gay men on there as I've never heard anyone but them use it.

@SomersetBrie
Do you know a teen that doesn't keep secrets from their parents?
That's normal and besides the point.

More than snooping.

Accessing someone's device without authorisation is a criminal offence under the Computer Misuse Act. I know parents should keep an eye on their kids' internet activity as part of parenting, but age 17 is well past the stage of doing that without permission.

And yes, trans men are welcome on Grindr similar to how trans women are welcome on lesbian app Her.

No 17 is not "well past the stage" jesus christ...

Teenagers should not even be on social media its just too dangerous.

OP you are doing a great job. You need to have some serious discussions with your daughter and get her to a therapist if she puts CNC and HnH.

This is not good.

Leave it alone then! Take it from someone who doesn’t speak to her mother because of similar behaviour.

Grindr is a social networking and dating app designed for gay, bisexual, transgender, etc. The primary purpose of Grindr is to facilitate connections and interactions among people within the LGBTQ+ community.

Your daughter is still a child. Legally, emotionally.

It's good you're looking out for her, and if she lives at home and you pay her bills you still have responsibility for her.

It'd be better be able to speak to her about this directly, though, OP. Well, ideally she would be comfortable being open with you about most things.

How is your communication and relationship in general?

Going by the abbreviations she's used, I'd say that your daughter is exploring role playing as a gay man and probably won't go beyond using the app (ie trying to get into physical contact with the men she's talking to on there.) She is most likely into erotic male/male fanfiction or regular male/male erotic fiction as well. There is definitely a chance she's exploring her gender identity but equally she could just be exploring her sexuality and finding inspiration in the gay male community.

It's not great that she's deceiving real men into roleplaying with her but most are on there for a quick hook up so will get bored of talking to her fairly quickly.

I'd gently advise you to stop snooping. This kind of thing really is much more common with teenage girls than you'd think. If she starts disappearing from the house in the middle of the night, then you might need to start having conversations with her but if you have no other concerns than I'd say let her do what she needs to.

Could she be thinking of transitioning to a man but perhaps still wants dick... like those men who become lesbians and then get angry if lesbians don't like dick?

I thought Grinder was for men who wanted to hook up with other men?

There are increasing number of women who think they have become men on Grindr trying to get gay men to have sex with them to validate their transition. Lots of gay men are pissed off about it, because they like men, not women. My firend, who is gay and goes to bathhouses for group sex, told me a very disturbing story recently about 2 young girls who insist on going there for validation and the treatment they were given by much older gay men who were annoyed about them being there.

Your daughter is 17, lives at home and has a history of grooming and trauma, I totally get this OP, she is at risk of harm. Ignore all the people trying to be cool or with agendas posting here and talk to her and make sure she is ok. Or get professional help if that's too difficult.

do not feel guilty for snooping. , your daughter has been in a lot of danger in the past with the grooming. it will still have an effect on her. i'd be more concerned if you weren't bothered. good for you. if you haven't had this happen to your child then no one can say, and it's a length you go to to keep your child away from predators online in lots of different apps. they are everywhere. talk to her. keep communication open and let her tell you about the apps herself.