Do you think porn is going to get even more violent and men’s demand for so called ’kinky’ sex even stronger when hopefully women are getting braver to stay single?

[CantAskAnyoneElse]

Didn’t get any answer on the other board, so I’ll try here.

While women started to get more educated, be more at the work force and having little bit more say in who and when or if they date, porn was pushed more and more to the mainstream and violent sex with that.

There has to be a correlation.

And now there has been quite a few articles and studies of women choosing to remain single (they don’t usually say, but I’m guessing some women at least are also opting out of having sex with men) and single and childfree women being happiest demographic.

Do you think that sexual behaviour, weather it’s porn / men using prostitutes / so called kinky community or ’sex positivity’ movement that is constantly eroding women’s boundaries, will get even more violent and degrading towards women?

I think a lot of it is technology. I was talking to my boyfriend recently he's in his 50s and has been a safeguarding lead in schools. You can go online and bring up hard-core porn in seconds. In his teen days, in the '80s, they had to get hold of a magazine, and find a time with it and no parents or teachers around, and it was mostly women that weren't much wilder than the bra pictures in your Mum's Littlewood catalogue. Porn was a rare, anticipated treat, not an every day thing that needed to be more and more extreme to have an effect. And we girls pretty much never saw any of it, whereas girls now are just as likely to have seen it.

Well, the kama sutra talks about erotica striking I believe (different methods like back of hand and where to hit etc) and it's something like 2000 years old.

Also, loads of women love rough sex. It comes up again and again in surveys. I don't know why we have to pretend it's all about male coercion when that's just not true.

Er yes but the oldest cave paintings are 10s of thousands of years old, that’s quite a big difference. 🙄

So when you asked for evidence of the 'earliest representation of BDSM' you weren't actually asking for the oldest representation of BDSM, which may well be what I provided?

Oo, it's like a puzzle. Maybe you meant the earliest as in early morning? Or did you mean the earliest as in development, like somebody displaying interest at the age of 16? The mind boggles....

I was asking for evidence that (quote)
‘Prostitution, BDSM or "kinky" sex and porn (if you count drawings on cavewalls) have been around as long as humans have.’

If the earliest evidence of BDSM is indeed the Kama Sutra that rather proves that is bullshit, since humans have been around a lot longer than 2000 years.

There's a huge difference between a fantasy, which is entirely under the woman's control, and real-life violence, which is not under her control.

No woman ever suffered life-changing genital or internal injuries because she fantasised. The same cannot be said for "rough sex".

There's a huge difference between a fantasy, which is entirely under the woman's control, and real-life violence, which is not under her control.

Which is exactly what I said upthread. Porn is generally about fantasies not doing that stuff in real life. Not many people have sex with their boss on the boss's desk or with the plumber etc.

Pornified men arent sexy.

Most men under 35 are 100% pornified. No wonder more women do t want to sleep with them.

What's really in it for women other than the social conformity of heteronormativity, maybe the odd orgasm if she's lucky and a DC or two if she's broody?

(This isn't a rhetorical question)

The availability of porn is so much more widespread than it ever used to be. That means people’s views tend to polarise more (for example if you took the views on MN then porn is the devil and must be damped out at all costs). There’s a risk of demonising it and stopping people using it safely and sex still being seen as taboo (for example I disagree with your apparent negative view of the “kinky community”). I use porn and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Your view about all men under 35 is frankly disgusting.

Why? Do you have a very low threshold for disgust?
If you think that post is factually wrong it would be more productive for the discussion if you would say which bits you disagree with, and why.

Because you’re making a sweeping generalisation about an entire group of people. It’s a pet hate of mine that you can’t possibly know to be true. It’s like when you see articles about the crazy views on MN that are actually reflective of a small minority of people on here or people complaining that all feminists are man hating lunatics, which is fundamentally not true.

Firstly it wasn’t my post, secondly she didn’t say ‘all’, she said ‘most’.
You’re getting wound up with someone for saying something she didn’t even say.
If you want to say why you don’t think it is true of most men by all means explain why.

It was a generalisation about the group of men in question, that is not up for debate, I didn’t say she said all. I don’t think it’s true because I’ve seen nothing to support it, I don’t know any men who have “pornified” view of women, including those under 35. I’d like to know why anyone thinks it’s true, I’m frankly baffled by the assertion. There are plenty of men who are likely influenced by it but “most” is ridiculous. There’s also plenty of women who think it’s fine to objectify men, to say most would also be ridiculous (yes, before you nitpick it’s probably a smaller percentage of women who do that). The original comment is just such a nonsense, as I said is it ok if a man says all feminists are radical man haters? Of course not, because it’s objectively not true.

1.Live action porn requires that someone acts out those fantasies, and it's the female someones who get hurt.

1. Women liking to fantasise about rough sex doesn't mean that women like the reality of rough sex

This isn't true.
There is plenty of female domination porn where the man is in receipt of the 'punishment'. It is not always against Women.

The men don't end up needing rectal stitches after an anal double penetration scene though, do they?

I have no idea, I've not asked every male porn actor who has been involved in a scene like this - have you?

https://sexualalpha.com/why-do-men-watch-porn/

98% of men have watched porn at least once.

Given that the rates reduce with age the rate for under 35s will be over 98%.

So yeah... not all men...

Does watching porn at least once make you "100% pornified"?
Because if that's the case I imagine a lot of women (including myself) are "100% pornified".
For the record, I don't watch porn.

I'll give you a clue: it's women who end up with tearing and injuries that need surgery, not men. https://theviolenceofpornography.blogspot.com/2019/03/do-girls-like-anal.html

You might consider searching the web for "porn death grip". There are men out there experiencing inability to orgasm during partnered sex because they've trained their brains to respond to porn and their bodies to require a tight hand to orgasm.

I don't need to search for it, I'm aware of it, but thanks for being patronising.
I wasn't aware that "most" men under 35 have this, though.

Except the data shows that loads of women do like rough sex. I do too tbh. I'm not really into lovey dovey stuff. Find it boring. Maybe speak for yourself.

Why do you think 50 Shades was so popular?

Of participants in relationships, about 4 in 5 had engaged in rough sex with a partner, and almost all reported at least some enjoyment of it.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-myths-sex/202103/how-many-couples-have-actually-had-rough-sex%3famp

According to recent research, as many as 70 percent of folks actually enjoy some form of rough or “BDSM-minded” play.

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/aggressive-sex

62% Of Women Like Rough Sex

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19545710/best-kinky-sex-for-women/

There are loads more studies. This was just what I found on the first page. I knew I'd seen it come up loads before in surveys.