Kerry Katona and surrogacy. Thoughts?

[ChocChipOwl]

I'm just watching Kerry on tv ad I eat my lunch. She has 5 children and, because her partner doesn't have any kids, they're going to go down the surrogacy route as her last pregnancy and birth was difficult

She said - and I quote - 'yeah we are going to get a surrogate because that's safer.'

Safer for who, I wonder?

Anyway, it got me thinking. I always used to be ambivalent about surrogacy but now I'm opposed to it, although I do recognise that on some occasions it may have a place.

But does it have a place for a 42 year old woman who already had 5 children and is so blasé about it all?

No offence but you don’t know that children won’t be traumatised by early experiences as they learn more about their history in years to come.

Trauma is an internal experience and adults widely gaslight children about trauma experiences as a defence mechanism to cover over adult behaviours and choices.

No one can that children won’t be affected negatively or even be traumatised as a result of surrogacy.

Every adopted child was happy and lucky in the last generation too.

Show me your research that says specifically altruistic surrogacy leaves trauma to the children born from it ? There isn’t any , hence why you or I have any links

No doesn’t help at all. I didn’t enter into surrogacy blindly and I took it very seriously. I researched well and certainly was not experimenting.

Your arm chair input is very insulting to people like myself.

Just the fact you compare those makes me wonder if you even had any contact with anyone connected with surrogacy . The children I know and I should add I know a few hundreds as the surrogacy community in the U.K. is very small are simply normal kids , no trauma , not many questions as 99% know where they came from and how they came to be born .
mid there any kids with some sort of trauma , I bet there are , the re are children with trauma from all sorts of different reasons . Do I believe surrogacy birch children are in may way more prone to trauma ? No , probably the opposite , because they were planned , anticipated and wanted for a long time and most are born into relationships that are stable .

I think surrogacy of all kinds is baby trafficking.

I'm not going to pander to offended adults.

You’re entitled to an opinion and no one is asking you to pander. Just still interested in your research.

on this thread there are 2 women who have been surrogates who have advised that the children are not traumatised.

I am so pissed off with celebs peddling this shit. I absolutely hate cancel culture and genuinely feel for women who cannot have children or have had past complications, but this is one thing I would put in room 101 and close the door on forever.

@yorkshirepudgf @Wiluli thank you for sharing your experiences on here. In my experience the feminism boards can be a bit of an echo chamber so it's nice to hear from people with actual experience of surrogacy!

Happy for anyone to ask me anything? We had a very positive experience all round and our worlds are much richer with the amazing human we brought into the world together. In real life, when we share our experience, we have such a positive / emotional reaction.

I know this might not be the case for everyone and every scenario.

For what it’s worth I don’t understand KK wanting to go down this route but each to their own!

I wonder if in the future surrogacy will be seen the way some adoption practices of the past are now.

It makes me sick that some rich people are so void of humanity that they think buying babies from poor women is fine.

And all these choice arguments would make some sense if rich women were surrogates in similar numbers to poor women.

I'm sure it will be.

I don't agree with this narrative that poor people don't have choices! Not many rich people choose to be cleaners, that doesn't mean that cleaners are exploited coerced people. If you're in a tougher spot you might be more likely to make decisions that other people wouldn't, but that doesn't mean that you are forced into surrogacy 🤷🏻‍♀️ there are plenty of ways to make money.

You are not looking very hard. Renting poor women’s bodies not a feminist issue? They are hardly going to be renting men’s bodies and have men suffer all the risks of pregnancy are they?

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

I try not to think about her at all , she's another Katie Price

You're correct, it's not right. Surrogacy is abhorrent and should be banned.

I just think poor baby looking for it’s mum and just finding people who bought it like a lifestyle accessory.

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

My surrogacy experience has been a really positive one. All parties involved are happy (the niece, my sister, my brother in law, my kids, my husband, my parents and me). We are very close. We are not baby traffickers. We are a very loving family.

Not all experiences will be the same.

This is true for every child born into the world whatever the background of them existing.

yorkshirepudgf what your describing is very different to the international surrogacy set ups and to KK's situation.

I can see how a child growing up knowing their aunty, who loves them, grew and gave birth to them for her sister put of love would be fine. Plus the child knows you to ask any birth questions when older. They also know that money wasn't the motivation.

Not so sure about a child knowing their birth mother was a woman living in poverty in a country like Kenya or war-torn Ukraine who did it for a sum of money.

I’m not disagreeing or agreeing with that. My response is those on this thread who state that ALL surrogacy is baby trafficking and will potentially traumatise the child.

Sister to sister surrogacy is an amazing thing. Effectively buying a baby from a stranger and taking it away at birth from the mother is so wrong it's just unbelievable. I cannot believe it's legal.
Oh yeah I can, coz gay men want it. And so they get it.

Im just coming back to this thread as l would like to educate certain posters on their opinions on this.

Not all surrogacy is as seedy and dirty as you make it sound.

I can only speak as a surrogate based in the U.K. so I can’t speak for surrogacy arrangements made outside of this. I am definitely not a “baby trafficker” 🤣

It is not legal in the U.K. to enter into a surrogacy arrangement commercially. There is a very serious and clear legal process that you have to go through that you need to attend family court for a judge to agree to. In our case, it made the judges day to deal with such a happy occasion. You also have to disclose banking information to declare that you have not profited from the arrangement.

The majority of people that I am in contact with this do surrogacy through love and the child involved is always very much loved too.

I’ve not read / heard / seen evidence of children being traumatised.

Some people on this thread who have stated that ALL surrogacy is baby trafficking / experimenting need to open their minds or speak to people with real experiences. I can guarantee you in the U.K. the majority have had a positive experience.

I know this can be an emotional subject but, unless you are party to such an agreement, and really understand everything involved, your comments will always remain your personal opinion and not fact.

For anyone in the future who is researching this subject and comes across this thread - please don’t be put off by the armchair researchers / vipers! Children will not be traumatised by this event alone!

Just to add, there were many SS involved along the way to ensure the baby’s best interests were at heart.

The baby’s best interests? What a joke. The child is created to be taken away from the only mum they have known. Surrogacy is all about the wants of adults. Sickening.