Domestic abuse- male victims & statistics

[MrsGhastlyCrumb]

So: I was at a class this evening where we were informed that about 20% of police call-outs for DA involve male victims.

Now, I do recognise that there are male victims, which is of course awful, but this seems high to me. I have certainly encountered and heard of male abusers calling in counter claims against their female partners in order to cover themselves. Is it possible that this is more widespread than I realised, therefore accounting for a large proportion of the numbers we were quoted, or is it genuinely that high, do you think?

TIA for your thoughts.

@thedancingbear they aren't al fights though and sometimes someone just protecting themselves could be considered a fight
I mean if someone came up to me and hit me if my only defence was to hit back then I would , lately around out area there has been several unprovoked attacks on male victims , you can't generalise they are mostly fights

He just did. He said they were 75% male.

I’m not sure why you’re posting links on PT working - everyone knows more women work PT because more women have to combine work and childcare. Nothing to do with working ‘less hard’ than men because they’re working as well as doing childcare and domestic work.

You should read thread 'you're lucky if you don't have to work'. It was an eye opener for me. Loads of posters waxing lyrical on how lucky they feel to have a high earning husband/partner who loves his job and allows them to 'pursue their hobbies.'

A few posts from the abovementioned thread....

Sounds like a right hard graft tbh. 😂

My DH works 80 hours a week for a significant amount of money, which allows me to be a SAHM and indulge myself, allow me to do all of my volunteering and my hobbies.

I dont work, I was able to be a sahm with my sons, both in 30s now. I lunch, dressmake, walk my dogs for miles, spend time with friends and family etc....
I also volunteer for a small homeless charity, something I am so passionate about, being literally close to home.
I feel totally fulfilled!

My sil is 44, rich and has NEVER had a job, lucky her! She has no trouble filling her day and has a great life.

Dp earns the money then gives it to me. Why would I feel oppressed?

I haven't worked in 8 years and bloody love it! I got to go shopping without ds today and have a long lunch with a friend. Going to the gym now.

I work just a few hours a week in a job I love doing, I don’t have to work for financial reasons. I’ve accidentally ended up with a really high earning DH. I enjoy having lots of time to myself, I have hobbies, an amazing spa membership and an extremely fortunate to have some really good friends whom I’m able to see nearly every week.

My SIL is lucky enough to not have to work due to DB’s income. She has nice things, goes out for lots of lunches.

I'm a SAHM who has teenage children and is fortunate to be married to a high earner so I haven't needed to work since having kids. We do have a lifestyle that most people would find impressive.

Anecdotally rather than statistical.

I was involved in a professional capacity with a male victim of DV. He was stabbed in the chest multiple times by his wife.

Police were clear from before we even entered the property that the couple were well known to them, very toxic relationship.

She pleaded not guilty to attempted murder eventually had a guilty plea to GBH with intent accepted (at the last minute, I had to rearrange my shifts for the week as the trial got cancelled), sometime later there was an interview with him in the local newspaper, saying how they had been talking whilst she was in prison, he had forgiven her, and they would be trying again when she was released from prison. FFS.

So, quite a classic example of female on male DV with perpetrator and victim being the same person, and a good helping of codependency and presumably coercive control.

with perpetrator and victim being the same person

This doesn’t make sense?

Well, often they say the man 'drove her to do it', so she ends up the victim too.

@TokidokiBarbie

You clearly have some kind of obsession with SAHMs and women who don’t work. And? Never said they don’t exist. Are you jealous? Is that what you dream of? Personally I like working.

How many threads are there about cocklodgers and feckless gamblers being supported by their wives? Or single mothers working and caring for children with zero financial support from their fathers?

In male on female DV in the majority of cases the male is the perpetrator and the female is the victim, end of.

In female on male DV in about 70% of cases (can't find to evidence for that stat right now) the female perpetrator is also the victim and in many incidents they are the primary victim and have been a victim for a very long time. They just loose it monumentally in the end, and/or when they do loose it they now they have to kill or inflict serious injury or they will be dead, and it is a one off incident of female perpetrated DV.

But being a cocklodger is highly distasteful, whilst the types of women mentioned above are usually well respected. Despite there being, many male priviliges, this is defo a female one.

Ah, I see what you’re saying - yes, violent retribution/reactive abuse.

What confused me was you said ‘male victim of dv’, but no mention the woman’s past history of abuse - wasn’t sure what you were getting at.

Most people don’t know what the financial arrangements of couples are, it’s not always obvious.

This preoccupation with female privilege is very much male not a female one. It could be internalised misogyny and posters suggested upthread, but I think more likely that you’re Ken not Barbie.

You mean just as in the case of lesbians, which have the highest % of assaults for all women in relationships.

Haha, it always comes out in the end. 😂 The suggestion that no woman could possibly ever disagree with mumsnet feminists (despite over 90% of UK women actively stating they're not feminists).

I just dislike bullies and bigots and I see a lot of them hiding behind isms.

It’s nowhere near 70%. Some women are dissuaded from identifying as feminists due to misogynist stereotyping. But most women have more balls than that tbh.

As I said - all women are feminists unless they believe they’re unequal to men and do not believe in equal rights on the principle of equality of the sexes.

If they’re not- they can hand back their right to vote, to work, to education, to drive - all the rights they take for granted that feminists fought hard for.

Women disagree, feminists disagree, it’s all good.

What I dislike is misogynists hiding behind granny’s bonnet…

Almost all female victims are dv. Almost all male victims are fights/gangs.

This is not equal violence.

Anecdotal rubbish.

You don't believe racism/homophobia can be motives for violence? It's like we're in the 1920s.

Well, it's in the stats, but feel free to not believe them.

'Stranger violence showed the largest difference in victimisation between men and women (1.4% and 0.4% respectively).'

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/compendium/focusonviolentcrimeandsexualoffences/yearendingmarch2015/chapter1overviewofviolentcrimeandsexualoffences#characteristics-associated-with-being-a-victim

Yup, it's nowhere near 70%. It's actually a tenth of that as only 7% of UK women identify as feminist.

You can stop all the 'but they are feminists, but just don't know it' crap, because they clearly state they believe in equality but not feminism, listing 'man hating' and 'toxic attitudes' amongst the principle reasons.

It's not the same movement/people that fought for the vote. It's often more like a whingers book club nowadays, with petty griping about mansplaining and men sitting with their legs apart on the tube.

Tbh, I'm sceptical about even the suffragettes. Most men couldn't vote until women could and the end of the war was as much a catalyst. I just can't idolise people who blinded innocent postal workers with letter bombs and tried to detonate bombs in churches and public areas. They could've killed anyone's innocent children/family had they not been so shit at making bombs. Basically ISIS level shit.

Citation?

Btw, Babs is an MRA. Bores on a fair bit, doesn't he?

So it's actually men who should be afraid to walk alone at night?

Ad hominem attacks always seem to follow when the statistics are hard to refute.

Your stats don't interest me. Your misogyny does.

But if you add sexual violence/rape the number would be higher for female victims.