Domestic abuse- male victims & statistics

[MrsGhastlyCrumb]

So: I was at a class this evening where we were informed that about 20% of police call-outs for DA involve male victims.

Now, I do recognise that there are male victims, which is of course awful, but this seems high to me. I have certainly encountered and heard of male abusers calling in counter claims against their female partners in order to cover themselves. Is it possible that this is more widespread than I realised, therefore accounting for a large proportion of the numbers we were quoted, or is it genuinely that high, do you think?

TIA for your thoughts.

"You can stop all the 'but they are feminists, but just don't know it' crap, because they clearly state they believe in equality but not feminism, listing 'man hating' and 'toxic attitudes' amongst the principle reasons."

Who or what are quoting in this passage? Where are "man hating" and "toxic attitudes" given as reasons?

You haven’t given any stats. What are your posts if not repeated attacks on women.

Btw: they believe in equality but not feminism is not a thing.

Yeah I’m done.

Well, they say equality can feel like oppression to the privileged.

It can also seem like misogyny/misandry to the sexist.

I don't have any issue with my own gender, I just look as badly on sexist women as I do sexist men. If the latter were here then I'd say the same to them.

Yep. I was just noting that the instances where men are victims of violence are qualitatively different from when women are victims, statistically speaking. I think those ONS figures have a separate section for sexual assaults.

twitter.com/FataleRadfem/status/1565143892340527104
Made me think if this thread.

the implications of that, of course, are that the service provision needs for males are going to be completely different from those of females.

Males getting attacked by strangers on the street are not in need of dv shelters, whereas women (and children) escaping dv are.

Certainly men could do lots to address male violence, tackle the root causes of it - that would be great!

I don't see any ethical ways to counter the effects of high testosterone though.

If I thought men were victims of their testosterone then I'd never want one again.
I think I'd rather look for a man who isn't violent than accept that I'll never meet a safe one.

Being genetically predisposed to violence does not equal every man being violent. And before you point out that you can't tell which are the good/bad ones (a flawed argument in itself) don't forget the same logic applies to women.

Making the problem completely out of a mans control renders every man a potential danger, stating a man is responsible for his own chosen actions gives us hope.
I wasn't going to talk about good/ bad ones, it doesn't apply here. All men produce testosterone naturally making all men potentially dangerous by your logic.

The problem is that you keep exaggerating and then building your argument on these exaggerations.

A man can be more predisposed to violence and yet not entirely out of control, in the same way that we can be affected by hormones yet not completely governed by them.

Studies have found that increased testosterone makes women more violent too.

Arabella said
"Certainly men could do lots to address male violence, tackle the root causes of it - that would be great!"
Then you said that testosterone was the cause, so no can do.
It's not an exaggeration to say that you were saying there is no point in tackling the root cause.

Are you sure you're a woman? The only people who have ever told me what I "keep" doing before have been manipulative males.

Maybe I've got confused, let me check. 🙄😂

RoseslnTheHospital, thedancingbear & IrisVersicolor
I don't begrudge women of the shelters & hostels and support agencies - i fully support them and think they are a fantastic resource in safeguarding women. My argument is that there are non for men. And yes, organisations have tried to set them up but receive no support or funding from anywhere. But the women shelters are fully funded by local government.

"....Most 'assaults' against men are in fact fights - and it takes two to tango.
And who are they overwhelmingly fighting against - other men.
I don't know why you expect women to sort these problems out..."

This is victim blaming. Are you saying that male victims of being assaulted, robbed etc on the street are equally to blame for whats happened to them? This is a thread on male victims of domestic violence - are you saying that there are equally to blame in these situations too? Is it right that a male fleeing from domestic violence can only be offered his mates sofa as a place of safety? Where a female fleeing from DV can be offered safe houses and fully staffed supported shelters?

It might vary from area to area, but at present I have nothing to offer any support to male victims of DV. Even our own DV department are trying to get support for developing support services, but get knocked back each time from local government.

Males being attacked on the streets whether its a robbery, assault, drug related etc etc - obviously don't need access to DV shelters. But if you're more likely to be attacked on the street if you're male (about 70%), why do we have campaigns such as 'making streets safer for women and girls' and lone female priorities for taxis & breakdown services. Taxis offering free lifts to lone females on the streets?

I'm not against making people safe - and if these are making females safe, then great - but why not do the same for lone men, especially when statistics show they are for more at risk on the street?

Males (and children) escaping DV incidents are in need of shelters, but there are none and local authorities have no plans to help, despite various campaigns and requests.

Wormers shelters are not "fully funded" by central government. What money they get had been cut and cut recently and women only services have been denied funding unless they offer so called "gender neutral" services.

Why aren't you angry at the men in power who have the access and resources to create mens refuges in every town if they felt it was a priority? It's got nothing to do with women fighting for services for other women. Why concentrate on telling off women for not centring men in their campaigning?

Ours women's hostels & support services are - and any other donations they receive, they obviously accept and put into the support they can offer. And great, more power to them. And they should be fully funded as they offer a great support. And ours have not had any cuts in funding due to 'gender neutral' issues.

Its not a case of 'men in power' in fact, the newest hostel we have was opened when Theresa May was at the helm. And I'm not telling off women either, in fact the female staff at the women hostels make regular pleas to have male hostels available.

I'm merely pointing out the fact that calls & campaigns to have such provisions fall on deaf ears and non are created - leaving me only able to offer a 'mates sofa' as the best choice for a fleeing male victim of DV.

@TokidokiBarbie I would challenge your narrative of man hating feminists, at least as far as this board goes. I have been posting on here for many years, and haven’t really encountered any of this famed misandry you speak off. I don’t identify as feminist, I’m a bloke, and I don’t necessarily agree with everything. I have even encountered kindness and understanding from many here.

@Felix125

I don't begrudge women of the shelters & hostels and support agencies
... My argument is that there are non for men.

Again, why do you think this is women's problem to sort out?

"....Most 'assaults' against men are in fact fights - and it takes two to tango.
And who are they overwhelmingly fighting against - other men.
I don't know why you expect women to sort these problems out...is victim blaming.

In a fight between two men, there is no victim, only two criminals.

Are you saying that male victims of being assaulted, robbed etc on the street are equally to blame for whats happened to them?

No. Where did I say that?

Is it right that a male fleeing from domestic violence can only be offered his mates sofa as a place of safety?

No. Why do you expect women to fix this?

It might vary from area to area, but at present I have nothing to offer any support to male victims of DV.

Best do something about it then, hadn't you?

What do you actually want here? From what you have posted it seems to me that your key messages are:

1. since men are often violent to other men, women should not be worried about male violence inflicted on them.
2. women not having the physical power to hurt men, their anger is just as bad as men murdering women (and men?)
3. women shouldn’t complain about male violence because it could be worse for them.
4. womens actions justify mens actions. Mens actions do not justify womens actions.

If that’s wrong, can you clarify what it is you actually think and what it is you are aiming for.
can you describe what “Fair” is for you in the realms of violence between two people.

5.Because some women don't work we should overlook the way that other women are abused because it all evens out.

6.Feminists are not people who want to help women, they are people who hate men. (Probably because they didn't have a boyfriend in school and haven't gotten over it)

I'm not against making people safe - and if these are making females safe, then great - but why not do the same for lone men, especially when statistics show they are for more at risk on the street?

Go for it!

Yes, exactly. He's all for men's rights but he's whingeing at women instead of doing anything about it.

@Felix125 why don't you take your obvious passion somewhere where you are more likely to get a bit of traction (Pistonheads? Assorted football forums?) instead of mithering the feminism boards? The world is your lobster!!