Domestic abuse- male victims & statistics

[MrsGhastlyCrumb]

So: I was at a class this evening where we were informed that about 20% of police call-outs for DA involve male victims.

Now, I do recognise that there are male victims, which is of course awful, but this seems high to me. I have certainly encountered and heard of male abusers calling in counter claims against their female partners in order to cover themselves. Is it possible that this is more widespread than I realised, therefore accounting for a large proportion of the numbers we were quoted, or is it genuinely that high, do you think?

TIA for your thoughts.

Well, not in London. And like I say, sexual harassment and worse from cab drivers is not uncommon so women tend to avoid late night pick ups alone.

We’re going round in circles. Women are far more likely to be victims of domestic violence - 2 women a week are killed by their partner or ex partner.

They’re far more likely to be targeted on the street - whether harassment, assault or rape - which are far more common crimes than murder.

In 2021 92% of domestic murders of women had male suspects. The majority of suspects of murders of men were also men.

So if you really want to do something to tackle street safety and the murders of both sexes you need to address male violence.

Felix
"I know some people don't see rape as a crime of violence - but I certainly do and from my role I see the effect it has on victims/survivors."

Also Felix
"The statistics show that women far are more likely to be sexually harassed, sexually assaulted or raped than men - yes I agree with that. But statistics also show that men are far more likely to be victims of violent crime and murder."

You are still othering it. Rape and sexual assault IS a violent crime.

I think it's understandable you have some selection bias, the vast majority of these crimes are not reported at all, police not ever made aware.

I'm not 'othering it'

I am saying rape is a violent crime.

My point is there are other crimes which have an impact on people, so shouldn't we have provisions for all victims?

And i am trying to tackle 'male violence' - I arrest males most days for violent crimes and put conditions on them to prevent further offences. I lobby & try to get support for male victims of that crime - as do our DV unit - as do female support groups also who can see a gap for these victims too.

But it often falls on deaf ears

If we are victim focused and 'putting victims first' I can't see why there is such an opposition to it for funding.

If we are victim focused and 'putting victims first' I can't see why there is such an opposition to it for funding.

Because the men it affects are unimportant to most of society, not least the men who run things, and people don't feel empathy/sympathy for men in the way they do for women.

Nope. The men who run things don’t really care about anyone but themselves. So women and gay men set up their own services. Straight men have not followed suit.

I think there's more to it than that tbh.

For example, countless social experiments have shown that people will intervene to help a battered woman but will laugh and take videos on their phones when a man is being beaten up by his partner.

People always focus on the privileges of being male and ignore the ugly facts like suicide being the biggest cause of death for men under 50yo.

More men seem to know about the '100 women a year' than the '80 men a week' in my experience.

These services are funded, run and supported by local government. But non available for any similar male services.

There is a lot of misunderstanding of DA. It isn't just partner abuse. DA can be of other family members. Many cases are adult sons abusing parents, fathers assaulting adult sons.

Domestic abuse funding is largely targeted at clients who are in the highest risk group for being killed or seriously injured by the abuser, because we have an obligation to prevent this. That group is well over 90% female.

Most DA victims don't want to go into refuge and homelessness departments offer other options.

hangonsnoopy
I quite agree - females are bar far the biggest 'victim' group. Just the smaller male 'victim' group, i can offer no support services for them.

And that DA can cover a wide spectrum. If you have a one-night-stand with someone it can be classed as you being in a sexual relationship. And hence, the family of both parties are classed as in-laws.

You can have an online relationship with someone and never actual meet them and it will b classed as DA. And both families could be classed as in-laws

I don't know why you can't offer support services for men. I work in DA and we refer men and women to the same range of services.

Feminists usually complain about this though.

'Is it right that a male fleeing from domestic violence can only be offered his mates sofa as a place of safety?'

Well no, because it isn't true. If someone is fleeing DA then the local council's homelessness department has a statutory duty to provide them with emergency accommodation and they are in the priority category for long term accommodation.

That is the route women and men generally go through. The vast majority will not go into refuge. I do refuge searches all the time and tell men and women there are no spaces available on that day. They then go through homelessness departments or friends or their own resources as do the majority of clients who are leaving DA who don't actually want to go into a refuge.

Complain about what?

Feminists don't object to men having the same range of services. They object to attempts to remove single sex services.

There is a statutory duty to support DA victims, both male and female. Feminists didn't campaign against that.

Homeless departments don't work through the night though - and we have no emergency accommodation services for males during the night - so a mates sofa is often the only option

Homeless departments also don't have endless resources of places for homeless to be housed.

may be different in your area - but it is problem in ours

Interesting. Again, why are you posting this here, rather than a predominantly male forum, like pistonheads, of football forums or, ooh, literally almost anywhere else on the internet?

why are you, a feller, bending women’s ears about men’s rights on a feminism forum?

as usual, you’ve made the thread all about you.

why are you, a feller, bending women’s ears about men’s rights on a feminism forum?

It's hardly "bending women's ears" is it? This is just one of many active threads within the 2 feminist talk topics at any one time. If anybody wants to avoid this one particular thread, it's very easy to do. If they want to contribute to it, that's their decision. Lighten up @thedancingbear . There is no need to be so censorious.

You’ve misunderstood. He can contribute what he likes.

but given his obvious passion for men’s rights, I wonder if he would get more traction for his ideas on a forum frequented mainly by men, of which there are loads. If he’s not posting in those places as well, it obviously begs the question why not.

and I’ve not censored him, quite the opposite: I’ve posed him a series of questions, to which he’ll probably decline to give straight answers

So should people with a passion for womens rights only speak to other women about that?

No. Where have I said that?

You suggested that someone you think has a passion for mens rights would be better served taking that conversation to somewhere frequented mainly by men. I was just wondering if you were consistent or not.

It depends what you mean by 'consistent'. If you mean 'do I see DV against men against women and DV by women against men' as exact mirror images of each other, of equal seriousness (on a global level), that should be talked about in the same way, then no I don't.

And a forum aimed at, say, men's mental health would be an inappropriate place for @Felix125 to bang a drum/blatantly derail by bringing the subject onto the paucity of women's provision (it's a drum I suspect he doesn't possess, but that's by the by).

I'm posting here as its a thread about male victim's of domestic violence - why would I post it on a football forum? and why would you expect the conversation to be different if I do? Football forums trend to talk about footballing matters only. Car forums talk about things like 'how to change your timing belt on a mark 1 fiesta by not removing the engine mount'

And how is it 'all about me'?

The series of questions you posted, I have answered - which ones have i missed? I have campaigned, pressured and asked for provisions for such help & support for victims - but there is no current funding.

Why can't we talk about victims of DV in the same way - regardless which way around it is or which gender is the victim?

Should we just have provisions to support victims?

Or should it be that - because there are far more many women victims of DV and more male perpetrators of DV - then unfortunately we are not going to support the smaller number of male victims?

A quick Google throws up a list of support for male victims of DV. Or rape.

Feminists don't object to that support existing. In fact some Rape Crisis centres have assisted men in setting up male rape crisis support.
We object to trauma support being made mixed sex. We object to funding being removed from women because its women who are being murdered, or who risk unwanted pregnancy.

There should be adequate resources for all victims. Women are not able to create or fund those resources. In the past, feminists had to create and fund support system themselves, from scratch, at a time when it was illegal for women to leave their husbands.

There is nothing stopping men setting up systems of support for male victims.

Statistically speaking, women are more likely to physically assault their partners than men are, particularly women in the LGBTQ community. The thing is, these assaults rarely result in serious physical trauma and are far less likely to be reported.

When I worked as an MFT in my first career, I was always shocked in regards to how many women confessed to physically assaulting their husbands.