Jolo changing her name. After getting married

[Nomoreminecraftplease]

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got married at the weekend and Jennifer has now changed her name to Jennifer Affleck. Just Why? I'm surprised to be honest. Especially as she's so famous etc.

I think it's a thing with some very famous people to show that they don't have to worry about 'brand recognition'. They're famous enough that they can change their name and everyone still knows who they are.

Not a full enough answer though is it? Why does she want to? It's a fair enough question on a feminist board.

That doesn't explain why most women do it too though?

Personally I think she is doing it to make this marriage stand out from the other three(?) she's had - a way of saying this is the one that's going to stick.
Maybe because BA ex wife is also called Jennifer?
Or she just thinks it's a romantic gesture and doesn't really attribute any significance to it since everyone knows who she is and professionally she will still be JLo?

I feel like women have gone more and more back to pleasing and pandering to men for last decade.
I.e plastic surgery, high maintenance look, big part of their personality is having a boyfriend / husband, being okey with porn, doing all the chores etc and tolerating horrible behaviour from men.

There was a tiny bit of time where women stand-up for it, but now seem to have really gone backwards a lot.

@ImAvingOops you said
"
In all honesty I don't understand why women view their birth names as belonging to their fathers.
Surely when you are born and given a name it is yours, whether you are a male or female baby?"

Well it depends very much on the father that you had. I was given my fathers surname at birth .My father wasn't in my life at all after age 5. I saw him once when I was an adult and he told me he didn't want to see me again.
My mother was there for me all my life.
I began very much to resent having my fathers surname. I was named after someone who had nothing to do with me, and who I had no time to.
I changed my surname to my mother's surname in my late twenties and I felt relieved and happy. Wish I had done it earlier.

No my birth surname never felt like me. It felt like being named after an abuser.

I like my name now

Why couldn’t it be a romantic thing or ”symbol of love” or ”union” that he would take your name?

Feminism is more about recognising that women are humans too and should have the same rights that men have always had.
Feminisms point isin’t clapping and cheering on when women uphold sexist traditions.

Ypu followed old traditions, I know this thread had few people who made comments about it, but in the real world no one is stopping any woman taking a man’s name.
It’s pretty much expected.
Why would a married, traditional woman need other women to empower her?

We should empower women who are single, or won’t change name, or childfree women, women who break molds.
Because those women get shitted on all the time, because they don’t fall in line.

Feminism isn't about cheering on women who uphold sexist practices just because they are female. It's about working for equality for women. I don't buy the "it's my father's name so it doesn't matter" line, as the same applies to son's names and
they don't tend to think of them as disposable in the same way.

While I respect any individual's
decision to change away from the name of an abusive parent and accept that it is likely more girls are victims of this abuse and therefore change for this reason than boys, for the majority it is falling in line with sexist traditions, not a choice made free from societal expectation.

"That doesn't explain why most women do it too though?"

Of course, not. The reason why most women do it is patriarchy and sexism, obviously, but that's so well known as to not even be under discussion isn't it?

@Sonervousimgonnathrowup if I like the idea of taking my husband's name. If it feels good to me. How can I possibly see any negative in it.

It's not just about my future husband.
I do have a boyfriend now. I really like all of his family. I like the idea of taking their family name. I like the idea of becoming one of the family.

I do understand the point that the tradition arose from patriarchal origins. But marriage also is a patriarchal tradition.

I think that some women like the romantic idea, and the feeling of joining his family, and the feeling of security. It is not always a bad thing.

Would I like my husband to take my name. No.
Why, because its tradition. I would be proud to have his name . And I personally like the feeling of joining his family. That's how I feel.

Surely the point of being free as a woman includes the freedom to choose what name you want to be known as?

How does he feel "bonded" to you?

'Not a full enough answer though is it? Why does she want to? It's a fair enough question on a feminist board.'

I agree. We're not here just to clap each other on the back for 'making choices'. Choices don't get made in a vacuum and the choice to make sure that one partner in a marriage gets top billing by the other partner ditching their last name is definitely worth examining.

I have no problem with anyone changing their last name. I do have a problem with the tradition of women losing their last name and taking on their husbands name when they marry. I think it's a tradition thats bad for feminism and bad for women

Yes, you have that choice and you can still do it and be a feminist, but you should be aware that it's not a feminist act. It's not feminist to deny sexism when you see it.

"Does anyone else think that more young women are now changing their names on marriage than 20 years ago?"

You could probably check the stats for that. I'm not sure it's true.
What I do think, is that changing your name is seen as a bigger thing now because most married couples live together before marriage so the change of name becomes the only obvious external change upon marriage.

Ah, patriarchy and sexism the only obvious and correct responses so it doesn't need discussing??
Right, sorry, I missed where we all agreed that.

Why doesn't that apply to celebrities then? And why are they worth discussing but normal women not?

If only we had a generalised one word label which instantly explained all their decisions eh? You could then just pop in on those threads to tell us the answer so we didn't need to discuss it.

Why do you think you are joining his family and not the other way round?

I've never thought I joined my husband's family. I range from being indifferent to most of them to actively disliking some of them. If my husband dies before me I don't expect to see or hear from them again. I won't miss them.

I'm very fond of my own family. Oh and, I know this is almost unheard of but my surname is far and away the nicer. It didn't occur to me to suggest he takes my name as he already had a name and my name is my name, not his.

Yeah, ditto.

Personally I think she is doing it to make this marriage stand out from the other three(?) she's had - a way of saying this is the one that's going to stick.

This. I think it's about making a point to the "Bennifer haters" more than anything else.

@BloodAndFire

You said "Why do you think you are joining his family and not the other way round?"

I feel like this was asked rather sneeringly. And again you are not taking into account, that every woman has individual circumstances.

I'll tell you exactly why I feel like I am joining his family.

Because I didn't have a family at all.

I didn't have a father at all. I saw my father once and he told me that he never wanted to see me again.

I don't get along with my mother.
I have one brother, and we are not close .

I am close to all of my boyfriend's family. I am close to my boyfriend's parents. My boyfriend's father is like a dad to me. He has been so kind to me. He Is the first father figure that I have ever had.

So that is why I feel like I am joining my boyfriend's family, and one of the reasons why I want to take my boyfriend's surname.

Taking a husband's surname is not always about women saying they are worth less than men. It is about some women wanting to move away from an abusive family to a new loving family. It is about some women wanting to feel that family feeling for the first time, by all having the same name.

The women on here saying that taking a husband's surname is an unfeminist act.

But many women grew up with abusive or absent fathers.
.

Why should those women be forced to keep their father's surname?

They're not. No one is suggesting that. Change your name to something you've picked if this is something you want. You need to wait for it to be another man's name.