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Feminism: chat

Gay men sue when surrogate has girl instead of boy

53 replies

ImperioMarch · 12/07/2022 08:58

Proof if any was needed is that surrogacy is about buying perfect babies and not becoming a parent.
These kids were intended as mere accessories.

Yet on other reason ALL surrogacy should be outlawed.

www.nationalreview.com/corner/two-fathers-sue-because-surrogate-gave-birth-to-a-daughter/

OP posts:
BodgerDodger · 12/07/2022 09:02

Awful!

poor girl. What have we come to ffs?

Hotinnit · 12/07/2022 11:04

The clinic should never have promised them a boy

ImperioMarch · 12/07/2022 18:41

Hotinnit · 12/07/2022 11:04

The clinic should never have promised them a boy

Agreed. But it's proved they're not fit to be parents.

OP posts:
IAmAWomanNotACis · 12/07/2022 22:46

How the hell do they end up sueing the surrogate not the clinic? Poor, poor woman. Going through all the health risks and wear and tear on her body of pregnancy, all the emotional everything and then gets sodding well sued!

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 12/07/2022 22:49

They aren’t sueing the surrogate. It says they are sueing the “fertility clinic and a fertility specialist”

TheDuchessOfBeddington · 12/07/2022 23:31
Palavah · 12/07/2022 23:34

I'd question the reporting agenda of that publication. It looks very much as thought they are lobbying for the criminalisation of IVF.

ImperioMarch · 14/07/2022 09:52

Palavah · 12/07/2022 23:34

I'd question the reporting agenda of that publication. It looks very much as thought they are lobbying for the criminalisation of IVF.

It was originally in Pink News but I refuse to link to that misogynistic publication

OP posts:
howdoesatoastermaketoast · 17/07/2022 15:57

IAmAWomanNotACis · 12/07/2022 22:46

How the hell do they end up sueing the surrogate not the clinic? Poor, poor woman. Going through all the health risks and wear and tear on her body of pregnancy, all the emotional everything and then gets sodding well sued!

And how unbelievably insulting to the baby girl concerned and all women.

TheFallenMadonna · 17/07/2022 16:00

Their case is against the clinic, not the surrogate. There was a thread the other day.

NyanBinaryJohn · 17/07/2022 16:20

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 12/07/2022 22:49

They aren’t sueing the surrogate. It says they are sueing the “fertility clinic and a fertility specialist”

No better. They should be fucking grateful to even have surrogacy available to them. To be entitled shits because their every whim isn't catered to is shocking. A woman has gone through pregnancy for them and this is their response?

They should be banned from ever raising children.

And this is a great example why surrogacy and gender sex selection should be banned.

ImperioMarch · 17/07/2022 18:55

TheFallenMadonna · 17/07/2022 16:00

Their case is against the clinic, not the surrogate. There was a thread the other day.

I couldn't see one

OP posts:
toastofthetown · 17/07/2022 19:01

They should sue because they paid for a service they didn't get. I don't think they should have gone public with it, but if the clinic are uncomfortable with IVF sex selection they should do it properly. and as promised to the couple. I think surrogacy is a red herring here. The clinic promised male embryos and a female embryo was implanted. That's a fuck up and they should look into how it happened and ensure that they can keep promised to their clients in the future.

Tania64 · 17/07/2022 19:06

If women didn't agree to becoming surrogates then the practise would die a natural death. It's all in the hands of women.

Bikeybikeface · 17/07/2022 19:12

They are disgusting to have even requested to pick the sexes anyway. That option should be illegal. Playing with nature there. In a certain country where people were allowed one child, baby girls were tossed away onto the streets, imagine those people were allowed to chose the gender of their babies….there would be a crisis!

Jalisco · 17/07/2022 19:13

NyanBinaryJohn · 17/07/2022 16:20

No better. They should be fucking grateful to even have surrogacy available to them. To be entitled shits because their every whim isn't catered to is shocking. A woman has gone through pregnancy for them and this is their response?

They should be banned from ever raising children.

And this is a great example why surrogacy and gender sex selection should be banned.

Perhaps it should be. But this thread is deeply hateful. If someone pays for a medical procedure - whoever they are and whatever they pay for - then they have a right to expect that outcome. The fact that they are gay, and the fact that they wanted a boy, is not cause to treat them with such hatred for pursuing a perfectly legal procedure. If it were a lesbian couple who wanted a girl, would that mean they hate all men? Or that they don't deserve to be parents? You can separate your opinion on surrogacy or gender selection as a principle and campaign on that. But the attacks on these individuals is disgusting. You know nothing about them as people, but these attitudes are no better than misogyny in reverse. Neither is a good look.

TheFallenMadonna · 17/07/2022 19:15
ImAvingOops · 17/07/2022 19:24

This is why sex selection should be outlawed except for medical need.

I think the clinic has fucked up and ought to be held accountable, but equally I cannot imagine being disappointed because my child wasn't the sex I thought I was getting - once a baby arrives, surely you love it because it's a real live person that exists in the here and now, not just an idea? You live and accept the child you have.
I also cannot imagine suing the clinic, knowing that one day my daughter would become aware of what I'd done.
These people are awful and it shows very clearly what happens when we commodify pregnancy and children!
I hope social services are involved in making sure that child is placed with people who love her.

bakewellbride · 17/07/2022 19:30

@ImAvingOops well said, that poor little girl.

TreePoser · 17/07/2022 19:32

Wow, that is horrible, they dont understand how having a baby works do they. Did nobody tell them to say we dont mind so long as it's healthy. They have shown themselves up here.

FreyaStorm · 17/07/2022 19:36

Wow. They wanted a little boy so much they were prepared to sue when they didn’t get what they wanted?
Gives me the creeps.

SingingInParadise · 17/07/2022 19:37

Fwiw I know some straight couples who have had IVF and have sued the clinic when they ended up expecting a boy instead of a girl. I don’t think this in itself makes the couple awful or ‘not ready to be parents’.
The issue here is that the IVF clinics in the USA offer gender selection and they failed at doing that. That, in itself, has little to do with the fact we are talking about a gay couple.

I have issues with their reasons of wanting a boy rather than a girl, I have to say. And seeing that one of them is obviously the father, I’m also wondering what will happen to their involvement with the child….
In the case of a straight couple now expecting the child, they might be unhappy with the sex of the child but will raise the child. With surrogacy, the door is obvioulsy wide open for them to then just step out and refuse the child (how they can do that is another matter. And refusing to raise the child DOES make them unfit parents in my book)

bobbythevet · 17/07/2022 19:40

SingingInParadise · 17/07/2022 19:37

Fwiw I know some straight couples who have had IVF and have sued the clinic when they ended up expecting a boy instead of a girl. I don’t think this in itself makes the couple awful or ‘not ready to be parents’.
The issue here is that the IVF clinics in the USA offer gender selection and they failed at doing that. That, in itself, has little to do with the fact we are talking about a gay couple.

I have issues with their reasons of wanting a boy rather than a girl, I have to say. And seeing that one of them is obviously the father, I’m also wondering what will happen to their involvement with the child….
In the case of a straight couple now expecting the child, they might be unhappy with the sex of the child but will raise the child. With surrogacy, the door is obvioulsy wide open for them to then just step out and refuse the child (how they can do that is another matter. And refusing to raise the child DOES make them unfit parents in my book)

100% agree, no idea why their being gay has anything to do with it

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 17/07/2022 19:55

The bit that I found the most shocking in the pink news article was right at the end where they talked about the additional costs they will now have as they will have to raise 3 children instead of the 2 hey planned because they still intend to get their 2 sons. It makes it starkly clear that the girl will be a spare part in the family.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 17/07/2022 20:25

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 17/07/2022 19:55

The bit that I found the most shocking in the pink news article was right at the end where they talked about the additional costs they will now have as they will have to raise 3 children instead of the 2 hey planned because they still intend to get their 2 sons. It makes it starkly clear that the girl will be a spare part in the family.

Sad

That poor little one.

Actually poor boy(s) as well, since the parents clearly have some frighteningly fixed notions of what and who they ought to be as they grow up.

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