Tiny skirts and arsed hanging out

[mooshed]

I know it's always been a thing, why is it? Why do girls want to show their bums? Is it for the boys? And just generally all the makeup and boob jobs etc. Help me understand as my dds skirt is getting shorter each day, still not up to her arse thankfully.

I hate it but I also feel like I'm being a prude or something, they can dress how they want etc but I don't believe this is what they really want, is it? To be looked at as objects?

I think it is reasonable to object to other people's clothes/presentation.

The culture of, "no one has any right to comment on what anyone else does / wears / says" is unhelpful, I think. Our choices affect other people and we observe certain boundaries in public for the sake of accommodating a sort of rough compromise between prudish judging and "I can wear what I want, so what if you can see my bum".

See I think you’re making a lot of assumptions. I wore very short skirts as a lithe young thing and I could not have cared less what boys thought. I’d have been much more interested in talking clothes with my girlfriends.

It genuinely wasn't the same when I was a teen in the 90s.

It's been the same for decades.

1920s had tight, scrappy and short dresses.
1930s/40s less so as clothes were more functional due to financial cutbacks, the war etc.
Post war 40s - short skirts and dresses returned, often due to needing to make fabric go further in the make do and mend era.
1950s - little skimp shorts, clingy clothes
1960s - the mini skirts/dresses and tiny shorts were very popular. I've seen photographs of my mum and her sisters as teens and y]their skirts were so short they bought or made pants in the same fabric so that it didn't matter if they 'flashed' anyone,
1970s - hot pants, some of the hippy styles were scrappy and short, almost like little nighties.
1980s - short rara mini skirts and net tutus, etc
And on it goes,

I went to school mainly in the 80s and girls always rolled their school skirt hems up.

It's true boys/young men don't really do this generally. The flesh shown, outside of sports fields, is generally not deemed as pleasing - trousers half way down the hips flashing their pants, etc. And ime topless men as soon as the sun comes out just isn't done for the same reason in generally - I don't think, outside of a beach/resort, it's seem as being a good look,

However, I don't think lots of teenage girls and young women are wearing these clothes just for the male gaze either. I know I didn't.

Sorry - first sentence should have been made bold. It was a response to the quote (first line.)

I'm 35 and love short shorts and short skirts. Always have. Now I'm an old lady, I wear them with trainers but I used to love them with heels, arse probably hanging out.

I just like the way they look on me. I feel attractive and happy in them. I like my legs and bum and I genuinely believe every day is a bit better in shorts. Because I'm short, I think only short shorts look good, when you don't have much leg, you best show it all off.

I have no daddy issues, am happily married and wholly indifferent to male attention 👌🏻

Like I said upthread, the part of the country I used to live in it was completely normal for men to walk down the highstreet or around tesco topless the moment the sun came out, its a thing in some parts of the country not in others

Really?! It's MY fault that the shops in my town only do v short ones and I must now change MY shopping habits. Talk about making everything the woman's fault. This is so ridiculous. Of course, if women chose better when shopping for their toddlers, teenage girls would not think its normal to wear revealing clothes. Of course. My bad.

I went to an all girl's school and always wore my skirt as short as I could get away with.
Took the school bus too so never really saw many boys until I was in yr 11/sixth form so I didn't do it for male attention. I think I did it to embrace feeling like a woman. I enjoyed having curves and a pretty face. Showing off to other girls maybe but wasn't to be a sex object to boys.

Actually I think it's completely fine not to want to see anyone's arse or genitals, even if the person wants to display them. I don't want to see a builders arse, and I don't want to see 16 year old Tiffany's either.

I'm shocked at the people that think it's ok to see arse hanging out of a skirt/shorts. I feel like that's only appropriate at the beach. I wouldn't allow my teen daughter to walk out of the house like that but she's pretty modest so I've never had to worry about it.

I'm surprised anybody has to even ask why. 😂 It's exactly the same with most female mammals trying to attract the attention of competing males.

Yes, men don't tend to be objectified as much but they do have their own distinct role, which is to be competitive. It's literally been proven that men playing competitive sports will experience a surge in testosterone if watched by a group of women.

The biggest change now though is that they want to have big arses following on from the likes of the Kardashians and some other female singers. This is to be emphasised. This was NOT the case when I was young - we all wanted to be slim. It's all to do with this culture of big ass females that is depicted in certain music and on social media.

They can feel attracted in their own heads and keep it to themselves. Not read it as a “message” to them which it obviously isn’t. If I see a beautifully groomed and toned young guy in the street I don’t think he’s there to impress me, more likely on the way to a job or to meet a friend/boy or girlfriend, so I just file it as “he’s pretty” and move on. I don’t behave badly towards him (stare, comment, grope, harass, rape). That’s the key point about realising that clothes aren’t a “message” but are sometimes worn for a specific purpose.

I always find it interesting that this kind of discussion generate a lot of 'I do it for me.' or 'just because it looks better' comments. And I have no problem whatsoever with people dressing to look nice. But it begs the question for whom? Unless you get great pleasure admiring yourself in the mirror then surely there's some awareness that you look nice to other people. I sometimes dress to look nice. If I'm going out with my family for a celebration meal then I want them to notice I made a special effort because the occasion matters to me. When I was younger I did sometimes dress to attract men. Sometimes to impress my mates. To give a professional image at work. To fit in with my tribe. You can always dig deeper and ask who dictates what image is appropriate for what. How much do stereotypes play into it etc etc
There are lots of valid reasons to want to look nice. We are social animals, and our behaviour reflects that. I think it serves us well to look a bit closer at what we mean by 'for me' because it helps us understand how we see ourselves, how our need to be seen a certain way fits into our world view, and how that view is shaped by the world around us.

As for topless men, so many look pretty gross anyway- fat gut etc. - how often do you ever see a really hunky one, except on a building site?
I was a young teen when mini skirts were a New Thing, so we wore them a) because it was the fashion, b) because we rather enjoyed making older people tut disapprovingly, and c) yes, at least partly to show off nice legs (if you had them, I did) to the boys.
I well remember some ghastly old bag at a bus stop telling me I looked awful in my admittedly very short skirt, and adding proudly that she prided herself on always speaking her mind!

Do you mean schoolkids?

My dd says that its more other girls that set the trends. It makes them feel trendier and grown up. Plus the school skirts are a really weird length and unfashionable and dowdy. Its not anything to do with boys for most of them.

I think it's all about fitting in and fashion. Personally, I think less is more rather than having everything out on show with nothing left to the imagination but that's just my opinion.

In the mid 80s, we used to roll our skirts up and wear stilettos to school. We all had the same haircut and same bag and same lipstick from Miss Selfridge. We had Smash Hits and Top of the Pops as our influence. Kids today have the internet and all the socials.

In the late nineties/early noughties, everyone wanted a tiny peachy bum like Kylie. Now everyone wants a big one and they're doing their 100 daily squats to achieve their goal. I wfh and sit on mine for 7 hours so I couldn't be 'arsed' with all that!

It's funny reading this thread as I have been binge-watching Downton Abbey (late to the party!) and seeing the skirts getting shorter after the 1st world war. Ankles on show 😱😱

I wonder what happens when the skirt gets so short it disappears completely 🤔

All those saying about topless men often looking gross, overweight with beer bellies etc. Yes that's true but plenty of the women revealing lots of flesh are equally overweight! That's fine and if they feel good then all power to them but let's not pretend it's only men willing to show off their overweight bodies. As a PP said, having everything on display is a real British characteristic. My in-laws are from southern Europe and everyone dresses more modestly there (despite the heat). In fact wherever I travel people are dressing more modestly. My in-laws are rather aghast when they come here and see the binge drinking coupled with people wearing very few clothes, staggering about! They don't think we're the most dignified nation.

That was the fashion when I was young and of course I wanted to attract boys but I also thought that the present fashion was the only one that looked good.

I agree.

When people say they're 'doing it for themselves' I usually take it to mean they aren't specifically trying to pull a bloke but enjoy feeling that they look attractive. I mean, why else would you want to totter around in uncomfortable high heels and tight clothing or get botox etc?

I guess what I'm saying is that a lot of these people who claim to do it for themselves probs wouldn't do it on a deserted island IMO.

That's what I always say too, you wouldn't be getting Botox and wearing massive eyelashes on an island by yourself!

My teenage daughter is a lesbian and she wears the ridiculously short skirt for school because she likes them, not to be objectified or attractive to boys. She also wears crop tops too. It’s because it’s fashion. Maybe as middle aged mums we forget what that’s about?

I don’t like the fashion of short tight
skirts but I don’t have to wear them. I probably wore skirts that were way too short when I was young too because they looked better with docs. I know I wore crop tops because I liked how they looked on me and they were better for sweat distribution in clubs than baggy T-shirts. I never once thought of myself as attractive so it never crossed my mind to try to be attractive for anyone because I thought it was a lost cause.

I find it slightly odd that we still frame these discussions as being about men and boys and what they like, as if girls only ever wear
clothes or do things to impress the opposite sex.