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Feminism: chat

Tiny skirts and arsed hanging out

128 replies

mooshed · 07/06/2022 13:46

I know it's always been a thing, why is it? Why do girls want to show their bums? Is it for the boys? And just generally all the makeup and boob jobs etc. Help me understand as my dds skirt is getting shorter each day, still not up to her arse thankfully.

I hate it but I also feel like I'm being a prude or something, they can dress how they want etc but I don't believe this is what they really want, is it? To be looked at as objects?

OP posts:
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motogirl · 07/06/2022 14:50

Both my girls wear very short skirts and both wear cycling style shorts under them (unless wearing leggings or very thick black tights) they are early 20's. They are also both slim (one too skinny, eating /mental health issues) so clothes do fit them well - unfortunately for larger females they often don't put enough extra length on short skirts to allow for our back sides (speaking from personal experience as a size 16)

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Dalekjastninerels · 07/06/2022 14:51

My boobs are my best feature; my bum is let down by my hip dips which means I lack the side roudness needed for a nice bum from rear view although not flat from the side view. Belly ; well need to lose weight to sort that out(work in progress) waist goes in - but not enough. Apple shaped I think?

So I show off boobs more than bum and never ever stomach.

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Sparklybutold · 07/06/2022 14:53

@Triffid1

Even if girls want to wear different, the clothes you can buy for girls is cut differently - it's just tighter to show body shape and where possible to show off boobs, bum etc. If girls want to wear stuff that not form fitting they tebs to have to buy ‘boys’ clothes. When I buy clothes for my daughter it tends to be boys clothes as it's loser, so more comfortable for her rough house, climb etc and just tends to be more fun and less cutesy.

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SecondarySnob · 07/06/2022 14:54

I did it to emulate the women in film/TV/music who I thought looked awesome. And wanted to feel good about myself.

If anything the effort I make is for the judgemental women I might bump into.

It really irks me that anything a woman does to look (what they consider) nice is immediately accused of being for male attention.

As soon as you had a partner did you cease to care what you looked like?

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Sparklybutold · 07/06/2022 14:54

@Triffid1

Buy she's 1, I'm sure as she has older this will.change.

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Sparklybutold · 07/06/2022 14:57

Sadly looking back, I wore revealing clothes to get men's attention, which I did, lots - this is where I got my sense of validation from.

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motogirl · 07/06/2022 14:57

@jaffacakesareepic

Actually I do think the same about men who walk about topless (excludingon beaches or similar ... and I do live somewhere where people go on holiday. They are exhibitionists trying to attract the gaze of women or men usually, it's not the sort of place ordinary people would walk around in swimwear (except at the lido as the beach is rubbish) always very good looking men on boats

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PurpleCarpets · 07/06/2022 15:01

This all seems to be overcomplicating what is very simple.

Girls do it to attract boys. It's fun at any age, but especially at that age, to attract the opposite sex. Boys find bare flesh attractive.

Straight boys don't do it simply because girls aren't so attracted to bare flesh. They do things which do attract (some) girls (mostly around showing off and trying to be "alpha" in various ways).

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GordonBennetttt · 07/06/2022 15:05

90% of the time it's for clout.

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Foxywhale · 07/06/2022 15:09

My daughter goes clubbing in short skirts and boob tubes because she can and because other people on the scene wear the same just like I did in the 90s. Its 2022 people come on. Not everything is about sex.

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Triffid1 · 07/06/2022 15:11

Sparklybutold · 07/06/2022 14:53

@Triffid1

Even if girls want to wear different, the clothes you can buy for girls is cut differently - it's just tighter to show body shape and where possible to show off boobs, bum etc. If girls want to wear stuff that not form fitting they tebs to have to buy ‘boys’ clothes. When I buy clothes for my daughter it tends to be boys clothes as it's loser, so more comfortable for her rough house, climb etc and just tends to be more fun and less cutesy.

Absolutely. This is 100% my point. That girls clothes, from when they are babies are designed to be tight fitting and revealing. And that includes shorts for toddlers, default use of leggings for girls ("it's so comfy" they'll exclaim. But always look blank when I ask why they don't therefore put their boy toddlers in leggings..."

Plus even at toddler/junior school, girls clothes are cut smaller. So a pair of shorts for girls age 7 will not only be MUCH MUCH shorter and cut higher etc, the waist will ALSO be smaller. Even though statistically at this age, girls and boys are the same size.

So by the time these girls are 15, of course they assume that tight clothing is for girls. And whether they're doing it consciously or unconsciously for he male gaze, there's no doubt that the male gaze has been responsible for the messages they've been receiving their whole lives.

DD doesn't like wearing her dresses without tights because she shows her knickers at school. But she won't wear school trousers because "girls don't wear those". The fact that she's still agreeing to wear trackies/shorts rather than short PE skirts is amazing. But hopefully she'll continue to not want to flash her undies every five seconds.

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Triffid1 · 07/06/2022 15:13

twitter.com/volewriter
twitter.com/letclothesbe

Here are two great twitter feeds that spend a lot of time looking at the ridiculous differences between girls clothes and boys clothes from very young ages...

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Ncwinc · 07/06/2022 15:17

’They're reacting to the world in which they find themselves’

This ^

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Kennykenkencat · 07/06/2022 15:19

I wore tiny dresses and stillettos (to work)

Despite older people commenting that I was doing it to attract the boys.
(I was happily married at the time) I did it for me.

I did have an amazing figure and there was no way it was going to be hidden under long sleeves, turtle necks and mid calf skirts

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Kennykenkencat · 07/06/2022 15:20

Ncwinc · 07/06/2022 15:17

’They're reacting to the world in which they find themselves’

This ^

I wasn’t reacting to anyone or anything.

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OmIndeed · 07/06/2022 15:20

I honestly didn't think twice about it. It was fashion at the time. I wore everything shorter, mostly mini high-waisted tea dresses, because I have a longer torso and it was much more flattering. Strangely, I only became self-conscious and aware of how it appealed to men when in my early twenties and that's when I stopped. British girls by and large don't get criticised/shamed by family and aren't aggressively harassed, as in Paris-levels of street harassment. So, I do think a lot of especially preteens/early teens can be blissfully unaware. I dress more conservatively overseas because besides the greater sexual harassment, local people can be hostile and judgemental, even providing poor service.

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ChagSameachDoreen · 07/06/2022 15:21

iCorvidae · 07/06/2022 13:55

because they want to

Its not our (your) job to police what they wear

Shouldn't we as feminists be encouraging our daughters not to pander to the male gaze? Choicey choice feminism has got us nowhere. You must see that.

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LondonQueen · 07/06/2022 15:23

A combination of male attention and my parents hating it! I was quite the rebel as a teen.

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Ncwinc · 07/06/2022 15:24

If society wasn’t a factor where were all the men wearing booty shorts and stilettos to work? We’re all influenced by the society we live in, consciously or otherwise.

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Georgeskitchen · 07/06/2022 15:24

Most topless blokes I see are middle aged usually with a huge hairy overhanging beer belly and moobs. That should be banned 😅😅

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BilboBagBin · 07/06/2022 15:30

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 07/06/2022 14:08

It's unfeminist or at least unsisterly to say it, but I feel the same. See so many girls in school uniforms with the tiniest of skirts and it makes me feel a bit sickened, really, that they feel they have to show so much flesh to be...what? Fashionable? Attractive? Popular?

It genuinely wasn't the same when I was a teen in the 90s. We wore dungarees, baggy combats, hoodies. Yes, we'd dress up more for a night out on the pull, but not for just going to school or college. It makes sad that young women's identities have become so sexualised, one way or another.

I was at a girls school in the 90s and short skirts were definitely a thing.

Sure there was girl power and all that but there were also adult men hanging around outside waiting to ‘pick up’ the girls so I wouldn’t necessarily say anything was better back then.

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TooBigForMyBoots · 07/06/2022 15:37

ChagSameachDoreen · 07/06/2022 15:21

Shouldn't we as feminists be encouraging our daughters not to pander to the male gaze? Choicey choice feminism has got us nowhere. You must see that.

How do you suggest mothers of teenage girls do that @ChagSameachDoreen? Teenage girls make most of their fashion choices with their friends in mind. And a bit of rebellion thrown in.

I see no feminist advantage to telling any girl or woman what she should or shouldn't wear.

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BeyondMyWits · 07/06/2022 15:39

Deep seated nature of the human animal. Young, attractive and fertile girls show off their attributes to get a high status alpha male (who doesn't need to show his body just his status). Has always been the case. People think they are making choices, but all through the animal kingdom it is the same.

Your brain is saying "I'm making my own style decisions, not for any man, I am confident in my choices", your body is saying "look at my ass, I want your babies"

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jaffacakesareepic · 07/06/2022 15:43

ChagSameachDoreen · 07/06/2022 15:21

Shouldn't we as feminists be encouraging our daughters not to pander to the male gaze? Choicey choice feminism has got us nowhere. You must see that.

Encouraging girls not to feel like they have to dress for the male gaze - yes
Encouraging retailers to not oversexualise girls clothes from such a young age - yes
Telling girls they cant wear certain clothes because 'men like it' - no, its still pandering to men in a different way and teaches girls they and their clothing choices are responsible for mens thoughts and actions

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Triffid1 · 07/06/2022 15:56

BeyondMyWits · 07/06/2022 15:39

Deep seated nature of the human animal. Young, attractive and fertile girls show off their attributes to get a high status alpha male (who doesn't need to show his body just his status). Has always been the case. People think they are making choices, but all through the animal kingdom it is the same.

Your brain is saying "I'm making my own style decisions, not for any man, I am confident in my choices", your body is saying "look at my ass, I want your babies"

Is that why I could only buy very short shorts or tight trousers/leggings for my 2 year old daughter? Evolutionary principals to attract a high status male?

Completely bollocks.

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