better role model than Elsa...

[bytheby]

Hi, I haven't watched lots of films with my 4 year old but can anyone recommend films (and books but we have less of a gap there) with a female lead that isn't ridiculously beautiful.

Ideally a character that loves to read!

I was excited about Encanto but rather than wanting to be the lead (Mirabel?) she wants to be the more conventionally beautiful sister Isabella!

I am sure it is just a phase and I am not overly worried but would like to stick her in front of some things that are a bit less princessy as she is more concerned with appearances than I would like.

I know that Elsa etc does have some good features it is just my DD's pre-occupation with beauty that is making me want to make sure there are some more normal/realistic looking people in the mix too.

Or should I just 'let it go?'

Not beauty and the beast. She fell in love with her captor after he decided that he wanted such for his own gain - male entitlement and Stockholm syndrome?

Moana is great, and funny too. Probably not the deep meaningful movie you're looking for but trolls is excellent for that age. Lots of fun catchy songs with a happiness comes from within and loyalty type message.

I also don't think you need to wait for spirit, dd was most in to it at 3 and 4 and it's all my friends 3 year old has watched for the last year

Yes to My Little Pony, the Friendship is Magic series. All strong, powerful female characters and a range of personalities which are all celebrated.

A lot of people are suggesting Moana, but I personally think she is much prettier than Elsa!

I agree but not typically so. Dd2 was pretty small when it came out but was excited to have a wild curly headed character she could identify with instead of the typical flowing locks of most other princesses. Lots of people on the curly hair fb page I follow said the same.

How about Inside Out? She won't get all the layers of the film (that takes an adult's eyes and several viewings IMO. I've seen it lots of times and saw a meme the other day which pointed out yet another detail I hadn't noticed), but it's a great film and enjoyable even on a superficial level.

Definitely not beauty and the beast. He’s abusive and then she stays and falls in love. Not a good message at all. And definitely don’t watch Peter Pan. The women don’t talk and if they do, they get told they’re talking too much. I agree with Elsa not being the best, she’s so skinny.

@liveforsummer I like that Moana has a bit more of a solid frame. We had a Moana doll which is amazing on that score. That and the amazing hair on this doll.

I also love that there is no love story in Moana.

I think Bluey has been mentioned before and I love that.

Song of the Sea is a very beautiful exploration of family love and the selkie myths. I think it's on Amazon prime. Made me and DD sob though😂 but we love it. The kids look like kids, there are no princesses.

I disagree that Encanto showed that the toxic family continued as before, the whole point was that the grandmother realized what she was doing to the family, apologized, and they were finding a way to still be close but stop following old patterns (Isabella growing cactuses, Luisa lying down and taking a rest, Bruno out of hiding). And fuck would I give up living in a magic house that did the housework for me😂

TBH OP I think you'll find her tastes will change loads over time. Mine loved Frozen and Elsa for a while, she's now moved on completely!

Brave is a good one.

Moana. Brave

I wouldnt look too deep into her wanting to be like the ones she finds prettiest. Shes only 4.

Best thing you can do is completely ignore how they look, and try and mainly talk about the things they do and can do and their interests.
People arent blind. They still like things that look nice. People are drawn to attractive people even before they know why. The important thing is to make sure they also value other things, but its a process and you are going to be fighting against the tide sometimes, as female socialisation is so insipid.

Whats her understanding like? Have you talked about any of the story for encanto. Like the bit where Isabella was upset about the pressure always on her to be a certain way. In fact most of the female characters were.

If my children were still that age, i might have just talked about who our favourite characters were. Id say "oh, thats interesting that you like Isabella best, what do you like about her. Oh you like her dresses and hairstyle. My favourite is Luisa as I think it would be cool to be that strong and carry donkeys on my back, dont you? And I wish I could talk to animals like Antonio, dont you?

Glad that Studio Ghibli was mentioned. My daughter loves My Neighbour Totoro, Ponyo, Kiki's Delivery Service and her favourite of all is Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Nausicaa is a brilliant role model as a scientist and leader of her people. Ronja the Robber's Daughter went down well here too.

My kids found Spirited Away scary and hard to understand though, so I would watch that one yourself first before you decide.

People always talk about Belle being a role model because she reads a lot. But it's all romance stories isn't it? She's not reading high literature!

I love Moana. Especially her grandmother's tattoo.

Also think the Lego Friends TV show has some pretty good role models.

The Incredibles has a few strong female characters

Merida (Brave) is great!

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Moana, Brave and Tangled are fab films imo.

Also try disney films that arent centred around people. Wall-E is great because the rough looking oddball gets the female posh robot also 101 dalmations was a fave.

Your DD is 4. At that age my DD was obsessed with octonauts and there are also some great series on Prime and Netflix (Ronja the robbers daughter (prime), Hilda, ada twist and Dragon rescue riders (all netflix) have strong female leads. Your DD is also at a great age for some studio Ghibli films. Totora, Kikis delivery service, ponyo and Arriety are fab. Also all have strong female leads.

You could always do what I did and get a star wars swim bag with princess leia on it and keep pointing out for years that shes a leader in the resistance which explains my DDs current obsession .

My DD has been obsessed with Dino Dana since she was about 4. Not a princess in sight.

Tangled is such an underrated film its really good I think Frozen overtook it but imo Tangled is superior.

Frozen was (VERY loosely) based upon The Snow Queen. Now, unlike Frozen, that book had genuinely strong women. Gerda travels to rescue her brother. She is helped on her way by several equally strong female characters, most notably the Robber Girl. Yes, she does save the boy.

@Koalaslippers

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This was our movie night film this week and I recommend it. The girl is kick arse and it's a U. Plus I love Sheldons voice as the alien.

Is Moana & Brave scary for age 5? My DS is very sensitive and cant bare any peril. My DD is younger doesn't flinch one bit, maybe just goes over her head at the moment. We struggle to find family movies that are suitable.

And you could try Abominable. My DS did find it a bit scary but a female lead again.

Brave might scare q 5 year old it has a " scary " bear or 2 in it. Moana is fine

Even my sensitive DD wasn't scared by Brave or Moana at age 4.

Completely agree with those recommendations above, also with MLP: Friendship is Magic. As well as all the excellent points MrsTP made there are lots of funny bits for adults as well.

Oh wait I think Moana has a bit of peril in it 🤔