Day 8 Off Citalopram And Feel Alive!

[boolifooli]

The last 4 days have been yuk but I feel great today! I first noticed yesterday that I am feeling things more, I cried while watching a movie yesterday and that hasn't happened for a while. Although the Citalopram capped the anxiety it also capped a lot of the good stuff. Anyways I just wanted to give some hope to people who are thinking of coming off and worried after reading many horror stories.

Thankks Chillio! Off to work now and your message cheered me up.

Let us know how your day goes.

Hi all

Broken - how's the day gone? (Thought of you yesterday when DS threw a tantrum over a broken milkybar)
Chillo - how you doing?
Yoda - kids better?

busy weekend for us as ever. Not a great day here but bad days happen to even the happiest people so not worrying.

Hi everyone. Had an OK day at work today. Not having meeting with boss and union rep until wednesday and I am determined i am NOT going to dwell on it. In fact i'm not even going to think about it until then.

I just got on with teaching and ignored the management! Think I need to do this more often as the kids are much nicer to be with and are at least always honest with their opinions.

No meds for me today and I'm feeling ok. No wobbles yet. Hope anxiety doesn't hit too hard. Could do without that on wed. Then again if i flip out and punch my boss i might get away with blaming it on withdrawl. (Hmmmm maybe not but i can dream.)

Just wanted to say a BIG thank you to you all on here who have been really supportive. You have really made a difference to my state of mind while coming off these meds and your support over my tosser boss has been brilliant.

I hope you have all had at least a good hour or two today even if the whole day hasn't been good

Chin up people.

We've had a minor tantrum over a broken milky bar before too.

Booli, what happened to make your day bad?

Broken, I used to teach. Management in schools are the worst, in my opinion.

I'm glad you've found he thread supportive. I have too. It's helpful to know that you're not alone, isn't it?

Have a great Tuesday everyone. Try and take 10 mins out for yourself: reading, a stroll at lunchtime, just something.

Hi everyone

I have not posted as life has been somewhat shitty recently.

Broken - I really really hope your meeting goes well. that is just so outrageously unfair!

I am now taking 20mg every day (did fortnight of 40/20) I just so hope I do not crash. Two days so far so will know over the next few.

I have also stopped all sleeping tablets and am so tired. Determined not to snooze - have to get proper sleeping habits back.

Next stop the booze - well maybe! The sleeping tablets miraculously stopped all hangovers (fab!) so am hoping that stopping those will result in a reduction of alcohol and then I can think about what to change next.

God this is such a slow process (getting my life back). I am dredging up every bit of patience I have and more.

Glad people are doing fairly well here - overall this is a fairly upbeat thread despite all the hassles isn't it?

Hi Booli, kids better thankyou, how are you? my goodness what is it with children and a broken milkybar??? my sos was devastated when his broke in two and refused to eat it so i had to get him another out of the firdge and as soon as i gave it to him .... he broke it up into several pieces to eat???????????????????????

Broken, so glad you are feeling upbeat and able to face the "tosser boss". we are all here if you need to chat, good luck for wed, dont let the bastard drag you down.

Chillio, must be a milkybar rage! cant believe its so wide spread, odd how something so minor can set our little ones off, i still think its nothing that 6 weeks on richard bransons island wont cure??? i wish.

well im on day 6 of ADs and was given 20mgs tablets but have only been taking half a day, still in two minds to continue taking the little buggers as having read all the links on here seems as if the "coming off" them is proving a hurdle for alot of ladies? dont want to end up in 6 months time with a whole ste of new problems trying to wean myself off them???????? feeling so so much better since i at long last told my lovely husband and wonderful parents how i was feeling and even the "boat buying session" and they have been so supportive, so just by sharing how i was feeling has in itself made me feel like a huge weight has been lifted, so may stop the pills before ant addiction sets in? what do you think?

off for 10 mins to myself (good advice chillio) will check in on wed to see how the tosser boss meeing has gone.
keep smiling ladies xxxxxxxxxx

Hmmm yes getting off them appears not to be fun - but they were brilliant when I needed them and I do not regret taking them at all!

Good luck whatever you decide

Gonnabehappy,
how are you feeling today? sorry to hear life has been a bit rubbish for you of late? are things starting to settle a little at all?
seems as if you are trying to give up an awful lot at once, pills,booze and sleeping tablets?
maybe just focus on one thing at a time, that way the mountain you have to climb wont be so steep!
try with the booze first, as the pills and sleeping tablets at least seem to be helping? wgere as the booze may just be a quick fix but in the long run will be just amother hurdle to overcome.
stay on mums net fo chats, its great non of us know each other but the support network is amazing,
i only discovered mumsnet couple of weeks ago, and the support from the girls, boofoli, chillio, brokenbanana has been overwhelming, its made me feel like im not alone and more importantly that i am not going mad!
one step at a time is the key.
thanks for the advice on the ADs too.
stay well. xxx

Gonnabehappy, well down with cutting down to 20mg, and especially for stopping the sleeping tablets. I know how hard it is to combat tiredness and try to get a good sleeping pattern. Keep going

Yoda, don't worry about coming off the ADs yet. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here at all, so they serve a great purpose.

God I am hungry so I shall go and eat some lunch as my tummy is rumbling and the cat keeps looking at me funny.

Oh and smoking!!!!!!

Yes I do need to be slow - I crashed really badly when I got cocky and stopped ADS over a week or so! The sleeping tablets - I think I will not need when I drop the ADs. I have dreadful dreams on them and my sleeping pattern went haywire. Tbh (and I do know this sounds like an excuse) I think the booze helped with this too. A bottle and a tablet and I could guarantee being comatose for a wee while.

I already feel a little better and seem to be able to drink a glass or two rather than a bottle so am ignoring that for a while....mind you would love to lose weight and wine contributes significantly to my calorie intake!!!! But again I think getting off the ADs will help.

Anyway decision made - slowly slowly stop ADs, have stopped sleeping tabs and combination seems to be helping drinking. The smoking I will leave to next week.

I hope this is not scaring off anyone! They have side effects and I am looking forward to stopping them, but they really have made life for my whole family better over the last year or so.

Yoda I don't know your circumstances, but I know my GP does not prescribe things lightly. Are you OK in winter - my GP was keen that I carried on into the spring (I know winter does not make my down so more advice I am ignoring!) but if you ate fragile and short days makes things worse for you anyway it might be worth bearing that in mind.

I remember when I used to have a bottle of wine a night, with sleeping tablets, and I was on Prozac too. Strange times for me those!

Are you sure now is the right time to give up smoking too? If I were you I would leave it for a while yet, more than a week.

And now I really am going to have some lunch...

Hello, may I join you please?

Have just been started on citalopram... didn't want to start a whole new thread though. I swallowed my first tablet about 15 minutes ago and am scared witless by the possible side effects listed on the info leaflet!

Good those of you are reducing are doing ok.

Sorry that should read 'Good to hear those of you..' D'oh.

welcome PinkPussyCat,
you sound a little like me, i too am in my forst 6 days of these pills and am scared too! but from all the wonderful advice from this great network of ladies, i think the fear is short lived, im sure some of the othere will advise you better that i (as only on day 6 myself) but stay on here and people will share their stories and advice, its a godsend.

Chillo, hope you had a yummy lunch and that the cat is no longer giving you odd looks? i had 3 percy pigs! got no appetite at all, good thimg as still have 4 stone to shift.
this thread has got so big, do you know how to begin another one and let the above ladies know where to find it?

Brokenbanana- keeping everything crosse for you today, let us know how it all went with tosser boss? xxxx

gonnabehappy- christ almighty! dont try and give up the fags too! youll end up running round like a headless chicken! small steps, one at a time, good on you for trying though, takes courage to face your deamons all at once. set youself monthly targets, and aim to have quit all the vices in 12 months time, if you set an unrealistic target youre heading for a fall. i was 8ish stone when i got pregnant with my second boy and the week after he was born i weighed ....a whopping 15 stone (was imoblie through pregnanacy due to heart condition) ad i st a target of geting back to 8 stone in 6 months!!!!! silly moo that i am, well my son is 1 next week and i have only shifted 3 stone, but only managed to do it so far by breaking down the 7 stone into 1 stone at a time! otherwise a 7 stone target would have been a killer!
xxx

Welcome to the thread, PinkPussyCat. Don't let the side effects put you off. They can be a bit alarming, but mostly they go away after a while, and they are worth it for the good the meds do.

Hi yodayoda, it's so nice to know I won't be alone in this!

I reckon my depression is actually PND that I never sought help for. Ds is now 2.3 and the Terrible Twos have just compounded everything. It got too much to bear last fri, and dh called the HV he was so worried. So that was a real kick up the bum for me and I saw the GP this morning, and Ta-da! Citalopram here I come.

ChilloHippi - I can identify so much with what you say in your post 07-Oct-09 12:46:23, running home from town simply because it was all too much and feel like I just want to 'get away' from everyone, especially ds.

Looking forward to seeing the light at the end!

I think my depression was PND too, but I didn't seek help until DS was over 1 year old. Just like you, I wanted to be far, far away from DS.

But it has got a lot, lot better. There really is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. For me, the citalopram started me off on the road to recovery. Counselling really helped too.

Are you at home full time with your DS?

It's so good to hear positive stuff, Chillo, I can't tell you!! For a while I was thinking 'oh well, this is it for the rest of time'. Your and others' stories have given me a glimmer of hope.

I was at home with ds full time till he started Nursery 2 days a week at 19mo. I just do the odd shift now + again when work are short staffed. I can't go back full or even part time as the shifts are 12hrs. Dh does long hours/on-call as it is and we've no family nearby who could pick ds up from nursery. So I'm kind of like a SAHM I guess!

Dr didn't suggest counselling but HV is coming out to visit. I feel such a muppet after dh phoning her but I know in my heart it was the right thing.

DOn't feel like a muppet. DH still comes to the doctor with me to ensure that I tell the doctor the truth and don't just say 'I'm fine'.

A massive saving grace for me was getting out and about with DS and making new friends with children the same age as DS. Do you manage to get out at all? I know it's not easy and I used to hate it.

Ask for HV about counselling, or your doctor when you next go. It's great to take an hour out a week just to talk and think about you.

Hello everyone and welcome Pink

Well tosser boss was so different today becasue I had my union rep with me. He was soooo nice / polite and correct. He decided that he didn't want to persue the issue about me supposedly deliberatly deceiving his PA. He was all bloody nicey nicey. I'm really angry with him. He was such a bloody bully to me when I was on my own with him and as soon as i'm properly represented he totally backs off. So i've spent the last 5 days shitting myself for nothing. On the other hand i'm pleased that he is leaving it alone but this has just left me with the feeling that he is out to get me and will just be looking out for another opportunity. What's that saying "just because i'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me". I could do without the pressure of feeling like he will be watching my every move and waiting for me to trip.

Well he's not gonna get me. Fuck it I work hard and i'm bloody good at my job. I enjoy working with the kids and he is not going to take that away from me.

Sorry for the rant - needed to get that off my chest

Other than that life is moving along ok at the moment. There IS a small flickering light at the end of the tunnek and I am going to get to it. When I do I will make sure i set lots and lots of lights going so you can all follow me out.

WE WILL GET THERE

I was thinking about you today Broken! I am so glad you have posted!

'Didn't want to persue' means he knew he was wrong!

Get yourself a mug from the union, and a lanyard from your union if you have keys, so he doesn't forget you are in the union. Never be afraid to call them for help or advice. Whenever he asks you to do something that you aren't 100% sure of or he is being a twat, say you'll need to check with your union. He won't be able to touch you.

That light will get brighter

Hello Broken, sounds like you are having a rotten time of it work wise, good on you for involving the union.

Chillo - re getting out with ds + other children his age - getting out is easy, it's getting back that's the problem. Leaving anywhere is a nightmare, I have had to (countless times) do the fireman's lift with him screaming and the world watching me. He's very big for his age and it's becoming a real struggle just lifting him when he's happy, much less thrashing around.

The only places he won't kick up a fuss about leaving are Toddlers and Tesco! Both of which he likes, incidentally. Also i find the whole social etiquette thing excruciating eg if he doesn't 'get on' with the other child etc. We have been going to the park lots, but probably less of late as he is so difficult to 'remove'!

Gosh that was a bit of a ramble. Anyhoo, day 2 of citalopram and feel ok, have had a dull headache most of the day though. I'm looking forward to getting this initial couple of weeks out of the way.

I used to worry so much about people watching me with my DS. I dreaded to think what they were thinking about me, and I was sure they were thinking bad things. In actual fact, most people probably weren't looking anyway, and those who were looking were probably sympathising with me as they'd experienced the same thing with their own kids. It took a long time for me to relax with DS in public.

What about bribery? I know it is generally frowned upon in the world of Mumsnet, but it works wonders for me! 'If we go home now/get in the car now/stop attacking mummy/another child/the dog then you can have a biscuit.'

I have to admit that I did like the drunk feeling that Citalopram gave me when I first started taking it

Hi Chillo, Gonnabe and anyone else who I may of offended.

I'd like to aplolgise for my stupid post around a month ago, I wasn't in a good place at the time and was just sounding off obviously at the wrong people.

Please believe me when I say I honestly did not intend to place any blame on anyone, although I can see how it could bee seen as that.

Anyway wishing you all good health and happiness....