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Mental health

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Original poster

what do you call it when you are not depressed per se, but you hate the world and can;t shake the feeling??

109 replies

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 12:55

cos I am in that at the moment, cannot get past it, and DH is telling me that he wants me non-grumpy or he might leave.

he doesn;t mean it really, I know that in me head, but my heart took a battering, and right now with all the fucking crap I am struggling with trying to get a DX for DD3, plus the issues with DS2, and all the other crap going on right now, my head seems to be stuck in grump-phase rather than coping phase, and I am not liking me that much.

OP posts:

Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 14:06

trillian, am loling here at your GRR about the bin, sorry. I have to say, am very impressed you never did aything to your neighbours (or did you??)!

am not going to go completely coffee-free. it is the one thing I enjoy when I am unable to ahve anything else, but to stop any after 2pm should be easy enough. I have cut right down to just 4 a day anyway now as I was getting too hyped at times (plus it was irritating my bladder), so will cut again by half over the next week and see how that fares me.

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Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 14:08

oh yeah, the food I eat is no doubt making me worse (or maybe the lack of food). I find it all so boring and hard to deal with because of my allergies that sometimes I can only be bothered with black coffee and my safe biscuits (which is dreadful really when I am trying to encourage decent food habits in my children!)

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 27/04/2009 14:09

[I am so nosy emoticon]

What are your allergies, Psycho?

Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 14:19

severely allergic to milk and dairy (anaphylaxis allergic..........DH made me an omelette with butter {by accident} a few weeks back, and then had to stab me with my epipen and call me an ambulance as breathing was an issue!)

tree fruits, and now sometimes fresh tomatoe makes me tinlge too.

filter coffee (assuming because it is stronger. not sure, but it makes me wheeze)

many medications

cats, dogs, rabbit

house dust mite

plus tree and grass pollens.

tis boring!

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slightlycrumpled · 27/04/2009 14:20

psycho I know I said this on another thread but I found counselling really helpful. I had been involved in a really nasty car accident and DS2 was constantly poorly and in hospital, and everything was such an effort. I wouldn't have said that I was depressed, but I was sad, very very sad and scared.

My counsellor was great and I used to sob all the way through the session but leave feeling lighter and fresher.

My DH didn't know how to cope with me tbh. I am normally the one that copes, that brushes us all down and moves on to the next thing, and he didn't have a clue what to do.

Anyway I hope you don't think I'm stalking you but your posts have such a familiar sound to them.

notnowbernard · 27/04/2009 14:20

What a PITA

Must be difficult to manage

treedelivery · 27/04/2009 14:25

Feck. So if there was such a thing as competitive allergy listing you would be kicking ass there!

You must be knackered! I have been dairy free for like, 8 days, and I'm bored, demoralised and tired of searching out food etc. Urgh! It's so tedious.

TrillianAstra · 27/04/2009 14:26

I couldn't do anything to the neighbours, didn't know if it was the flat just below or the ground floor.

Well, we know now because middle floor have moved (yay!) and now it doesn't seem to happen.

Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 14:28

slightlycrumpled, I do normally just brush me down and cope. I think that is why right now all this is getting me so down.........I am fed up with the coping and want to just sit down for a while and stay sat.

I told DH it is like wanting to get off this ride as I am sick and tired of this one, but I don;t want to get on another one for a while...............just don;t really wanna do anything. I have to tho, which is getting to me somewhat. maybe councelling is the key, or just getting it all out on here for a bit......

notnowbernard and treedelivery, yup, tis hard. and boring!

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slightlycrumpled · 27/04/2009 14:29

You allergies sound mind blowing. Credit to you for managing them at all!

Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 14:29

trillian, yay for them moving

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TrillianAstra · 27/04/2009 14:31

I think you need to get those kids trained to a whistle, so they can do everything that needs doing while you sit on the sofa. I suppose DH will have to help if anything requires heavy lifting, driving, or the use of credit cards, but otherwise he should stay and rub your feet

twoisplenty · 27/04/2009 14:31

If you are in the Midlands, I can recommend someone who can help with the allergies. My dd was allergice to so many foods, and now she is not! (Except nuts, nothing else). And it only involved 3 appointments and no medication etc.

She also helped with allergies to chemicals, not just food.

slightlycrumpled · 27/04/2009 14:32

Yep thats the one, just want to be still. To not have the phone ringing, not have another letter from the hospital, not to have to worry about dinner, homework etc etc.

Actually DH did do something, he sent me off to a health spa for a day and all around me women were in the gym, being energetic and I just found a really cosy couch read a book and slept! A waste of money in terms of taking advantage of facilities but invaluable in terms of rest and peace in my brain.

Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 14:33

I am down south............that sounds good tho, being cured of my allergies. I miss cream cakes and milk in my coffee!

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Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 14:36

slightlycrumpled, DH asked me what I wanted.

my answer was to be able to curl up somewhere with a book, not see any mess and cleaning, not to have to think about food, no children laughing and bickering in the background, and definately no constant high school musical on in the background!

oh, no letters, not meds to think of, and definately no doorbells and phones either.

plus, no washing and housework to deal with for a week, or at least, if it was done, for it to stay sparkling for longer than the five mins it normally takes for them all to undo it again!

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slightlycrumpled · 27/04/2009 14:40

psycho, you so need time out. You really need a break, peace and space in your mind and whole heap of nothing to do.

I hope you get it.

unmumsnett ((((hugs)))) for you.

twoisplenty · 27/04/2009 14:42

I think if I had a day to myself, I would imagine feeling wonderful until it was time to come home! Wouldn't I feel worse coming home to it all?

Actually, come to think of it, I did have a few hours pampering at a beauty place, having a facial etc. It felt fantastic. Went for lunch afterwards (with my sister) and it did feel like I could be me for a bit.

And I think that's the key to it. Being ourselves for a while.

Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 14:44

thankyou for the hugs, much needed.

twoisplenty, there is a danger of not wanting to come back, but I think if I could find me for a little while, coming back might in fact be easier [hopeful].

just being able to stop being wife, mum and nursemaid for a day would be fabulous!

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twoisplenty · 27/04/2009 14:46

As for the allergies, it was a recommendation from our neighbour for a Spiritualist Healer. Now although I am fairly open minded, I didn't really understand how she could help.

But it was amazing. She was wonderful, and has helped so much.

So if you can do a bit of research, and find someone to help, it didn't actually cost that much, because we only had to go 3 times.

It really can be achieved. She actually cured her own daughter's severe anaphylactic type of reaction to nuts. She can now eat normally. So if you can find someone, it can turn your life around.

treedelivery · 27/04/2009 14:55

Lets assemble an mn army and come and clean your house, cupboards and garden for you. And magic away the laundry. My mum does that for me when I get the look. It makes the house seem 'lighter' which cheers me up.

You could also declare an amnesty - fling bin bags of laundry at the lunderette and get a service wash - and get a cleaner. If only for a month. Let them come and just do it. Find a local mum/older woman you know is at home who would do your ironing, an ex had his done for a fiver an hour. A fiver! I'd pay that to have it piss off.
Even for one month - £100 to £150 to get you some space from a bit of the boring duties.

God it sounds great - might do it myself!

Slightlycrumpled - thank you for remembering, Harriet the H bomb is better for either me being dairy free, or her being 3 months. Had dairy at weeked, so if the bomb goes off again, we know I'm a tea free lady till weaning. eek!

Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 15:05

the house cleaning sounds good, alto not right now, am having an extension starting soon.

you sound like me a few years back with my children. they are also milk allergic (well, they were then, they have grown out of the worst of their issues now with dairy foods), and I had to be milk-free while BF. t'was a chore I can tell you, and the exploding was not fun when I slipped up!!!

spiritual healing might be worth looking into. I have tried that before with my injuries from my car accidents and it did help for a while, but I only went the once due to other issues cropping up. never thought about it regarding allergies!

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slightlycrumpled · 27/04/2009 15:06

tree that is a brilliant idea! (glad Harriet is better.)

I was in hospital last week with kidney stones, initially I was really anti and all pissed off etc. Then when they had sorted out the pain I actually quite enjoyed the rest! I came home to find my MIL had been round and cleaned the house, emptied my ironing basket (not an easy achievement) and generally kept things ticking over. Was almost worth the agony.

Original poster

psychomum5 · 27/04/2009 15:38

my washing basket was empty once.......

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TrillianAstra · 27/04/2009 15:56

Hmm, google maps says it would take me 3 hours to drive to your place, and DP needs the car for work. So I don't think I can quite join in on the ironing army.

If there's anything that can be done remotely I'm quite good at internetting.

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