Aaargh, it's noro season. Anxious emetophobes this way!!!

[Dottoressa]

Hello ladies,

As we seem to have reached our limit on the other thread, I thought I had better start a new one!!

We have the 'positive' one started by our lovely BB - so I suggest we keep this as the 'anxious' one (i.e. the one where we can all say "OMG, it said on the news that someone v-d 200 miles away from me - am I going to catch it?!") We can share our worries, however silly they sound, without undoing the good work on the other thread. What do you all think?

I shall start off by saying that every time DD speaks, I think she's going to say she feels sick!!!

Now that really is neurotic...

xxx

Hi sianyy. Welcome! You are amongst some of the lovliest people on here who will understand you and try and help you..we are all trying to be 'normal'!

I can totally relate to you as i was about your age when i confided in my mother about my terrifying fear of being sick. I too was told, 'you won't be sick, you're never sick' ...after talking at length to my mum she did realise how severe it was and was very sympathetic, but unfortunately she got cancer and died when i was just 23 so i lost my confidante. My life has been extremely hard because of this phobia, it affects every area of my life. I too didn't do the things normal teenagers do and lived a very limited life, still do. (I'm 39 now!!)

I empathise with you sian, and will do anything i can to help you because you have got your whole life ahead of you and i would hate for you to live as i have lived.

I am currently waiting for a psychologist to see me but i have seen so many different professional people to no avail. It is one of the hardest phobias to treat apparently.

How long have you had the phobia? Has your doctor mentioned referring you to someone in the hospital psychiatry dept? Have you tried to explain properly to your parents just how bad this is affecting you? I was very close to my Mum but still found it extremely difficult to tell her the whole truth because i was so embarrassed and knew that a 17 year old should not be scared of being sick and need their Mum when they do feel sick. I've had this fear all my life.

Are you afraid of others around you being sick too or just yourself?

there are a couple of girls on here that have had quite successful treatments with this and how they think and act etc, hopefully they will come on and offer you advice too.

Hello Sianyy,

I'm just about to go to bed, completely exhausted, but have to tell you very quickly that you are more than welcome here, and that we are all here to (try to!!) help each other with this dreadful, debilitating phobia. There are some really lovely people on here, and lots of support and advice. I'll try to post further tomorrow!

thank you both for responding
first of all wiggleit, i'm really sorry to hear about your mum passing away! and thank you so much for the support.

i can't really recall when the phobia started, or how it started, because i remember really not liking being sick when i was a little girl and always crying (as most young children do i guess) but i was never half as petrified of it as i am now. i guess it started to become a real issue when i was about 15.

the doctor has not yet mentioned referring me to someone in the hospital psychiatry dept, but i went for counseling sessions with a woman in a small doctors surgery, though this was originally for me and my mum as we had a really bad relationship when i was growing up (i went through a really bad rebellious stage) and then the counselor found out about my phobia and decided to start giving me private sessions about that, but they never really helped.
my mum also got someone to visit the house, but i found that totally useless. i can't remember what it was called but it was a woman using some kind of therapy involving tapping pressure points.. but we only tried that because we didn't have to pay if it didn't work.
the thing i'm worried about is any help that is likely to be successful is probably going to be too expensive because we're going through quite a rough patch financially.

i have explained to my parents, and my mum understands me to a degree because she has a phobia of wasps, and flying, and she too has panic attacks. when i talk about it and get upset about it away from a situation when i think i am going to be sick, she is very sympathetic. but when it comes down to me actually starting to panic about it, she doesn't really know how to deal with me. my dad has never really been sympathetic at all, i asked if i could get help but he just said we couldn't afford it. i'm guessing he is less understanding than my mum because he doesn't have any phobias or fears.

i am scared of others being sick around me, but only under certain circumstances. if someone is drunk, i will happily look after them and help them if they are being sick provided i know for a fact they are only being sick because they are drunk. i get terrified if someone is sick near me without explanation, purely because i'm scared of catching a bug off them. norovirus is still a bit of a problem for the college i'm at, and not so long ago someone who also goes there was sick on the bus, and i almost immediately had a panic attack and had to get off the bus and walk. i obsessed over whether or not i had "inhaled the virus" for about 3 days after, as it takes between 12-56 hours to display symptoms of norovirus after catching it. (another one of my problems is that i research things like that far too much!)

thanks for taking the time to read this i appreciate the support!!

Hi sianyy!

Sounds like we'll be asking you loads of questions coz there is always something we want to know about bugs etc, so seeing as you do a lot of research i for one will be calling on you in times of need! I'll try not to though!

Noro is the biggy for all of us on here coz it's so easily caught. I HATE winter!!It is such a worrying time for me and i can barely function. I become almost a recluse.

I sympathise with you on the family front. My Dad was very unsympathetic to my issues with vomiting. He just totally didn't get it. I have had serious relationship problems with him because of it (too deep to go into now but i understand your predicament).

I think you should try and get help on the nhs. Go to your doctor first and ask to see a behavioural therapist or a psychologist. You may have to wait a while to see someone but you don't have to pay. I'm currently on the waiting list to see a psychologist. I saw a couple of behavioural therapists when i was younger but unfortunately i didn't find them any help. That's not to say you won't. Give it a try.

The Maudsley hospital has a good success rate but i live too far away from there. I think belgianbun on here went there and found it very helpful. Do you live near there? You should definitely try and see someone on the nhs.

What are you doing at college? I struggle in environments like that coz of the germ thing. I would love to go back to college and do a course but just can't bring myself to be in a classroom!

Hi Dot! Soz, didn't forget you! xx

Haha, i dare say i'll usually have the answer to the question! although to me that's more a burden than useful as it makes me more paranoid!

I'm sorry to hear about the relationship problems with your dad, but it's nice to know you understand where i'm coming from.

When i spoke to my mum about it yesterday she mentioned helping me find something on the NHS so i think that will be my next step

Unfortunately i don't live anywhere near Maudsley hospital, i'm in between Cambridgeshire and Essex. My closest hospital is Addenbrookes in Cambridge, which is 5 minutes away from my college so we're CONSTANTLY getting updates from them about outbreaks of norovirus (because a lot of people walk there to use the food court but were not allowed on the premises when norovirus is around) which isn't exactly mind settling for me!
That's the other problem, i'm not sure if the local nhs psychiatrists and psychologists are actually based at Addenbrookes hospital, but if they are i would be very iffy about going to see them as i would constantly be germ aware!

I do photography, media and psychology at college, and going on to do a degree in health psychology in september.. as it focuses a lot on mental health; addictions, phobias etc it could actually be a lot of help to me!

College is a hard environment to be in with the germ thing, but i just make sure to regularly wash my hands, especially before eating or smoking, and i take my own lunch as i've heard of cases like when a dinner lady came back to work after having the norovirus but was still contagious, and ended up giving it to loads of people. It's a bit easier as i'm a smoker (not that that's a blessing) as i spend a lot of my free time out side away from the germ packed areas! the bus is the worst place for me, but now its warming up and i've passed my driving test i'm usually either walking to the train station or driving

hey all

sian - welcome to the forum you have taken a brave step to be writing on a forum, and admitting it to your parents. how is your bf about it all? my dh i have been with since i was 18 and he knows all about my phobia, and is amazing about it, he totally understands and if i panic he will help me clean!

ds was sick on sunday night but we think that was down to eating a whole chocolate egg, and cornish ice cream when he has a dairy allergy ooppppssss, but he did enjoy it! he can tolerate a little now he is getting older, but that was too much. i hope thats all it was

how is everyone else?

hello! thank you i think it will be good for me to share my thoughts and experiences with people who actually know and understand what it feels like.

my boyfriend is good in some ways not so good in others, he knows just how petrified i am of it and helps me by making sure food, milk etc is in date before giving it to me (i'm very obsessive over stuff like that) but tends to go a bit quiet when i'm having a panic episode, mostly because he doesn't really know what to do. sometimes he loses his temper with me if i get a bit silly with it, e.g. moaning about bread that's one day past the best before date with no mould on it. sometimes i feel a bit bad for him because if i feel like i'm going to be sick, even though i trust him and feel safe with him, i always want my parents around and get more upset about it when they're not(sounds immature but it's just something that comforts me!) but we've been together 7 months so far and he's growing more understanding about it each day.
he's good with cleaning up as well.. if he knows i'm coming over he'll usually dis-infect the whole house for me, bless him.

sorry, i do go on a bit sometimes!!

Hi all!

mt3 - how are you doing? It does sound as if your DS was sick because of too much rich stuff and his allergy.

sian - you are lucky to have an understanding bf. My dh is really supportive of me and puts up with my strange ways!

I used to be the same as you sian with only wanting my mum when i felt sick (even at 17) but obviously i can't go to my mum now but luckily my dh is extremely understanding and when i feel sick he does everything he can to make me feel better ( even though i usually want to be left alone! )

Did you find it difficult to explain to your boyfriend about the phobia? I struggled to tell my dh because i was scared of what he might think of me. My friends know about it now too so they know to stay away from me if they are ill. I'm not so scared of telling people now, i think because i have 'met' a lot of people with the same thing so i don't feel such a freak but when i was younger it was unheard of and the usual response i got was 'well nobody likes being sick' in a 'what makes you so special' kind of tone!

I have a couple of rl friends with the same thing so that is always helpful. Plus the girls on here are fab and very supportive.

it's good that you've got someone understanding there for you as well wiggleit

sometimes i feel really stupid and embaressed about still wanting my mum when i'm sick, but i think it's because nobody except my parents have ever seen me ill, so it's what i'm used to.

i didn't really find it difficult to tell him about the phobia, i'm quite open about it really because i know not many people understand it. in discussions about phobias or illnesses i will quite openly talk about my emetophobia, what i'm not quite so open about is my behaviour. i was worried about letting my bf see the paranoid parts of me (e.g. eat by dates, checking if chicken is cooked properly, staying away from ill people, constant hand washing etc) but eventually they just started naturally 'coming out' of me and he adjusted to it, much like the few close friends i talk about it with. some of my best friends have picked up on and mentioned some of my habits, particularly the hand washing, and they understand why.. but i would never trust them to look after me as i do my bf or my mum.
oh and also, i really can't stand people that say "well nobody likes being sick".. nobody really takes a fancy to enclosed or busy spaces but it doesn't mean everyone is claustrophobic!

i can tell how fab everyone on here is, i feel welcomed and supported already

Hiya Sianyy. Sorry to hear you have this awful phobia too.

Your food obsessions sound just like mine. My DH has been doing the majority of our cooking since our son was born, and last year was teh first time I've let him bring a raw chicken back into the house to cook since 2002 (but even then it had to be organic free range etc)

Sian - you are welcomed and supported on here, told you everyone was lovely!

We all get the hand-washing thing and the chicken thing. I never eat meat out, always go for the veggi option and even then am worried coz my friend is a veggi and got food poisoning from a dish she ate with mushrooms in..so now i don't eat mushrooms either!

My dh is like me about overcooking stuff so i trust him to cook but he's the only person i will let cook for me.

I don't like take-aways either, apart from the fact you don't know if it is cooked properly or with fresh produce but you also don't know who's cooked it and if they have touched it or breathed on it or recently been ill...it's just toooooo risky!!

Hi to everyone! hope all is well! xx

hey all, there seems to be more bugs around again so now i am in panic mode again, strongly considering moving abroad again!!!! has anyone else felt like this????

i'm not too bad with things like beef or lamb, because i know it can't harm you if it's not cooked properly, so i'll always ask for it medium well if i have it. as for mushrooms.. i hate the things anyway!

yeah i always get paranoid about take-aways, but i try to think back to the thousands of times i had mcdonalds, burger king and the like before my phobia showed itself, and not once did i get ill. touch wood
it's a bit easier in the summer because norovirus disappears (i cant WAIT for summer!) i just stay clear of chicken

last night when i got home my dad was in bed and mum said he didn't feel well.. he had the dreaded bucket next to his bed too.. apparently it was his ears and his balance or something because of some medication he's on for his back, but i wasn't taking any chances so i drove straight to my boyfriends! but he's fine this morning so i'm relieved

and mumtoo3, i'd love to move abroad but i've always been to scared the food from un-familiar cultures would make me ill! (not that that should ever stop you!)
haven't heard of any new outbreaks if illnesses..
when does norovirus actually go away? it's not even winter anymore

Hi everyone!

how are we all?

mt3 - think there are always bugs going around, it's just sometimes we are more aware of them than at other times. It's usually when i think i am safe that something occurs out of the blue so it's a constant worry to be honest.

sian - how are you doing hun? I too would love to move abroad coz of the outdoor living and fresh air and sea etc but i too would be scared to eat anything except bread and chips! hence ending up a fat phobic! At least this phobia keeps me
slim!

Love to everyone! xx

i'm doing okay thanks! in a good mood today, was a bit paranoid on the bus today as it was really busy and i was stood next to someone who was going on about her boyfriend having a sick bug.. i felt like telling her to get away from me! but fingers crossed nothing will come of it! got a 15 hour photography exam starting tomorrow which should be fun not. should take my mind off other things for a while though!
how are you doing?
and yeah, i must admit.. this phobia does keep me nice and slim! xx

Hi everyone!

sian - good luck with your 15hour exam!! don't envy you!

I'm feeling ok at the mo too, think it's the sunshine ..thing is i'm eating really well but it scares me in case i come down with something and have eaten, and i feel fat! I have actually put weight on and i don't like it! I like being thin!

well i'm sure you don't look fat! i always say i feel bloated or fat after i eat and everyone tells me to shut up lol.

don't be worried about eating and getting a bug either! because i know it's not a nice thing to think about but at the end of the day if you were sick, (which you wont be!) it will be a hell of a lot less unpleasant if you actually have something in your tummy! other wise it just hurts. so eat away! xx

Hello all!

Sian - I know I said I would write a longer post, but I've been trying to catch up with a whole heap of things that accumulated while I was away, so I still haven't got round to it. Suffice it to say for the moment that I will eat chicken provided I've cooked it myself (or have inspected it carefully if DH cooks it - it used to annoy him, but I think he's now resigned to me poking away at bits of chicken to make sure they're not pink inside) - but I won't eat chicken in a restaurant, and I get very anxious if we go to someone else's house and there's chicken on the menu. In fact, I sense a chicken argument brewing - DH put some leftover chicken in the fridge yesterday, and it semi-froze in there because someone accidentally turned the temperature down. There is no way I'm touching it now (it's thawed out again) - but DH will say I'm a loon. Ah well!

I have now got an appointment to see a CBT person next Tuesday, so I shall report back! I find it hard to believe that a lifetime of phobia can be 'cured' by talking about it, but I am willing - nay desperate - to try.

Hugs to all!

Hi everyone!

sian - thanks for your kind comments..i too get told to shut up by my friends who say i'm not fat and if they looked like me they'd be happy But i just don't see myself like they do, and i think i starved myself for that many years that i was skinny and now i'm eating more i feel fat. I do suffer with ibs so i do get a bloated tum often. How are you hun?

Dot - brill news about the cbt!! at last you are doing something, you must feel a little better for that??? Let us know how you get on hun, i'm still waiting for my appointment (not holding my breath...i'll be dead! )

I too won't eat chicken usless i've cremated cooked it . I definitely won't eat it out in a restaurant or anything or even at friends houses. I wouldn't touch that chicken you've had in your fridge either,way too risky! Just chuck it! (no pun intended) Hope you are catching up with all your jobs hun.

Hi to everyone else! bb - where are you and how are you sugar? Hope you ok xx

hugs xx

Dott - maybe you won't be "cured" but you will very likely feel 90% better after it, which can only be a good thing.

Nice to see this thread popping up in active convos now and then! Hope you are all ok?

Last night I was watching TV, Drinking With The Girls, I think, and you saw a close up of the presenter puking after too much drink and although I closed me eyes and went "ewww" I didn't have to turn it off and I didn't keep having flashbacks about it all day, so that's a definite improvement for me!!!

Minty - if I get to that stage, I will be happy! Thanks for the support.

I shall let you all know what happens.

Wiggle - DH and I had an argument about the chicken. We agreed that he could eat it if he wanted to, but he was v grumpy. He did have some yesterday and has not yet suffered any ill effects, but I am still not having any!

Hiya folks. Things have been calmer here, well until school restarted and all the worry that causes

And of course today, sitting next to a mum and another dad, I hear the dad is collecting today because their youngest was sick this morning. So of course Im now on full alert as their sibling is in DS's class.

Of course, my sane side says fair enough, its probably the same bug DS had at the end of last term. But my mad side worries its a new bug doing the rounds

And Dot, I was meant to be starting CBT soon but the letter arranging my appointment hasnt arrived, better chase it up - hope yours is successful

Hi everyone!

Dot - i don't blame you for not having any chicken, it's just not worth the risk is it? Your DH will probably be fine but it's just the way our minds work, we are always on red alert!

rex - try not to worry, know it's hard and i am the world's worst worrier! Kids are exposed to bugs all the time, a lot of stuff we never get to find out. (thank goodness!) I am exactly the same as you though when i hear of anything to do with v..i just can't rationalise. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for.

Hugs to everyone! xx