Loneliness

[PurpleLovecats]

How do you cope with loneliness? I feel so lonely it sometimes actually hurts.
I’ve no real friends as I suffer with poor MH so rarely leave the house. My husband works difficult hours so is often out in the evening.
2 of my 4 adult children live at home but they have their own lives obviously.
I wonder if there are online groups I can engage with or something?

Lots of online groups. What interests you?

Mumsnet can be cheery when you find your niche.

Volunteer locally - always, always a laugh. I’ve always done it working or not and it cheers you up.

Book clubs at the library are good too if you’re a reader.

well, I’ve started reading again a bit (couldn’t when psychotic). I like singing. I like the weather.

But I don’t leave the house so can’t engage in volunteering? Or go to a book club.

I just googled free singing apps- don't know how to do a link- sorry. You say you don't leave the house, is it something you would like to try and do?

Yes I’d like to but I have panic attacks whenever I do.

@PurpleLovecats Don't assume you can't change. I worked with a woman a couple of years ago who hadn't left her house for any significant length of time for fifteen years. She had a goal. Her eldest daughter was due to given birth in three months and she was absolutely determined to be there, in the hospital – the place she dreaded above everywhere else – for the birth.

She sent me a photo of her cutting the cord.

Find something you want to do more badly than being afraid.

If I absolutely have to leave then sometimes I do but I have panic attacks. So a blood test this week meant I had a panic attack in the surgery. I felt so exposed.

Did you know that no-one ever died from a panic attack? Not one recorded death ever. They feel awful but they can not hurt you and they fade naturally.

Does knowing that help?

And have a look at this.

Online choir? Rock Choir went online during COVID. I believe they kept it going by Zoom as suits some people. I think you still have to pay the membership, approx £30.per month dd a few years ago but lots of online resources. Please look into singing, good for the soul and MH. Good luck and solidarity. X

No it doesn’t. It’s the most god awful feeling and it’s incredibly embarrassing.

Thanks, that’s a good idea. I think I’d quite like that!

I was just about to post that my choir - rock choir - has online sessions now. It’s very good and if you tried it you could perhaps work up to attending a session in person . ❤️

I will definitely look into this. Cost is a factor but it sounds promising!

Have the professionals in charge of your MH care suggested a way forward? Never leaving the house isn’t sustainable and having panic attacks is awful.

The CMHT discharged me. I have a private psych online but no other MH support.

Ah love! The loneliness is a symptom but not going out is unsustainable. Are you addressing it with your online psych?

You need exposure therapy best thing i ever did and you can do it yourself. Baby steps stand on your doorstep next day walk to your neighbours next day door after and so on it really works if you're consistent

She can’t help as she’s not in the area. She asked my gp to source support but they can’t find any.

I honestly can’t. People state stare at me. I hate it.

Do you want an accountability partner and support here?
Would you like to not to be lonely or come and go from the house without a second thought or both?

Go back to your GP. Why did they discharge you if you’re so unwell? Are you on any meds?

No I’m looking for ways I can engage with people online really. So via a video link rather than typing like on mumsnet.

GP just refers me back to the CMHT who reject the referral. I’ve accepted I cannot leave the house.
I am on venlafaxine and olanzapine as I was psychotic.

Why do they reject the referral though? And what does the GP suggest when you tell them that? Not leaving the house ever is not a healthy choice.