Keep thinking about ending

[Theend22]

I am thinking constantly about ending things. In the past I've said to myself I'll wait until my mum goes but I cant do another 20/30 years. I absolutely hate my life and can't remember when I didn't. I have battled with my mental health for 25 years, its dominated and ruined my life and I cant do it anymore. I have tried a long list of medications, countless different types of therapy and therapists, spent thousands of pounds on treatment. Many different psychiatrists. I cannot live in this constant pain anymore. Apart from my mum who will care a bit, no one else will care anyway.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

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I'm in the exact same situation Theend22 it's brutal. I've asked for ECT but they have refused. Some of us suffer so badly and it's not fair.

Why did they refuse? Sorry to hear you are in the same situation, I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

They don't like using it. My real problem is chronic isolation. I'm trying to get a job to tackle this (even though I'm unfit for most workplaces) but it's extremely difficult when you suffer very severe depression.

My only future is more immense suffering. I've tried hard to change my life but it's just impossible That's why I asked for ECT. I suppose I'll just go on suffering until I go insane and am forced to end it. There's nothing at all I can do to get out of the checkmate situation I'm in I think society has become extraordinarily cruel. But that's another debate.

I think that voluntary euthanasia should be available to people who have suffered with MH issues for decades and tried numerous medications and therapies. We should be able to choose a good death without having to resort to suicide with the risks that it doesn’t work properly.

100%
Obviously politicians don't want it because its a shocking indictment on whatever country it is and it might become too popular and they'll run out of workers.
It may come in eventually who knows. But only decades after it should have come in and after an immense amount of human suffering.
My existence has been a fate worse than death and I wouldn't wish what I've been through on my worst enemy. I shouldn't have to be forced into the violent methods we all know about and risk surviving badly disabled. I'm just so angry that people have to live like I do it's absolutely disgusting.

Anyway OP sorry for hijacking your thread somewhat.

Reading this really broke my heart. I don't think people would be better off without you, even if it feels that way right now. Twenty-five years is a long time to carry that kind of pain, and I'm so sorry you've had to. Please don't sit with these thoughts on your own tonight. If you can, tell your mum or someone you trust exactly how you're feeling and let the crisis team or your GP know how urgent things have become. You matter, even if your mind is telling you otherwise.