Struggling with frightening thoughts and sensations about being alive

[PurpleLovecats]

Do you ever think you’re dead? I just can’t actually believe I’m alive. I cut myself. I bleed. But my skin itches all over. I think I’m decomposing from the inside out. I’m being eaten alive by bugs.
Or I’m dead and stuck in the half life and need to find my way to the afterlife.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]

Support from other Mumsnetters is great but it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well. We hope that you can do that.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Have you run out of the antipsychotic meds now OP? You need to see your GP or see a psychiatrist privately as you have been discharged from your original MH team. What do your family say about your fears?

Yes I’m off the meds now. I can’t see the GP, they don’t believe me. My family don't talk about it, they’re too upset that nobody will help.

You said before that your family didn’t think it was worth spending the money on a private consultation, Maybe they will change their minds now?

Sweetheart, get yourself to A&E.

We simply don’t have the money for continued private psych input.

They just send me home.

Why are you off your meds, would it help to speak with the crisis team or calling 111

Because I’ve been told I don’t need them and discharged by the MH team.

Can you google mental health charities in your area and ask for support and an advocate?
Im so sorry you are not being listened to. I believe you.
Could some of your experience like the insects crawling be a withdrawal symptoms? Its a known side effect of antipsychotics. We used to call it electric ants. The feeling of being dead could also be withdrawal.
Can you talk to ChatGPT for support?
Can you see a different GP?

You don’t need continued private input. You know what meds work for you so the psychiatrist could assess you and then ask your GP to take over prescribing the meds. The GP won’t care as the responsibility will lie with the psychiatrist.

But won’t they request my notes and then see I’ve been diagnosed as not needing them? I spoke to a psych locally about a private assessment and they said they’d need to assess over several appointments as I’m disputing my diagnosis?

I don’t know if this is typical but my private psychiatrist didn’t request my notes from the GP, he just assessed me based on the history I provided him and then wrote a review letter for my GP to arrange ongoing prescription. GPs are so busy that they seem happy to folllow the path of least resistance. They have been writing me fitnotes every few months without ever seeing me or even speaking to me.

Ok thank you.

Please don’t advise people to get mental health support from ChatGPT or any other AI.

I’ve emailed a private psych for their prices tonight.

Good luck

My Mental Health OT recommended it...
I thought it could help the OP find and access real life support