I’ve had problems with anxiety since I was a child under CAMHS. This then became OCD too, with the anxiety feeding off of this.
I am mostly able to function normally, adjusting things in my life to do so, but there have been times I’ve broken down before accessing help again as I’ve let things just become too much. This started with being out of school for a year, and then again every few years. I always end up back on antidepressants.
The worst things for me are the physical symptoms that arise because of it, and no amount of talking therapy helps with this. The headaches, nausea, loss of appetite, stomach/bowel problems, the lack of sleep.
I work from home most of the time which means I can manage my symptoms better, but days I have to go out can be hard. I worry about getting the headaches, not sleeping the night before (which makes me not sleep!) or urgently needing the toilet (when I’m anxious it gives me bowel issues). I know some people will think I should just ‘think differently’ but it’s hard.
I feel ashamed and I may need to tell my employer but I’m worried I will sound like I’m making excuses. I’ve had reasonable adjustments before (mainly at university) because of this and I felt awkward about it then.