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How to start living a happy life?

112 replies

Yoloinpractice · 27/12/2025 20:29

My DP and I are both quite depressed and we are conscious that we are wasting our lives away. We are both working part time in the run up to retirement and fortunate to have good health (apart from being run down physically) and to be financially very comfortable.
He lost a sibling recently (early 60s) which has reemphasised that life is short but we still don’t seem to be able to have fun and make the most of our time.
How do we make some positive changes? Is it best to just concentrate on one day at a time or try to come up with a longer term plan?
Any advice or similar experiences would be appreciated

OP posts:
JetFlight · 30/12/2025 11:13

@Yoloinpracticewhat was she responding to? It’s different if you’d asked “how do you work with clients you don’t like?” Than if the conversation was specifically about you.

Ohpleeeease · 31/12/2025 08:15

I’m so glad you are engaging with this thread OP, I hope you’re finding comfort in the support.

I don’t want to dwell too much on the AD thing, it’s just that I have very personal experience of this and have travelled that road with someone close to me.

Withdrawal is not a linear thing, you have to think of it as a squiggly line, moving forward slowly but indirectly.

Sometimes you will feel you aren’t making progress and sometimes you will actually feel
worse. At those times you have to remember that every day you are without medication going into your system is a day when your brain is able to repair itself. Occasionally it will send out distress signals because it’s asking for medication it’s been used to receiving. That’s when you’ll feel your symptoms most acutely. But these distress signals pass.

Also your symptoms will change, so you might go through periods of exhaustion, and then sleeplessness, lethargy and restlessness. It’s all part of your brain and body resetting without the medication. It’s not a quick process but it is a worthwhile one as you feel yourself coming back to life.

I hope this makes some sense.

Tryingatleast · 31/12/2025 08:22

We used to get a jolt when we made a list of the things we looked at to be happy in life and rated each out of ten eg food exercise, sleep, friends, hobbies etc and rated them. So I realised I didn’t see family enough, or was eating badly etc etc. I find I’m happiest with family or out on hikes, reading etc . Good time to start op!!

Goodwishesfor2026 · 31/12/2025 08:42

I think it is good that you have started this thread and there is some wonderful advice on it, especially from jugendsteil but also many other posters. Suicide ideation is distressing and for me, I was lucky to get an excellent counsellor through my work but even then, I never mentioned it because I was scared it would trigger a lot of responses and concern. I cannot imagine that a therapist who said they did not like you is a good therapist. It should not even be a question they would answer or voice. I don’t have a supportive and close family (birth family, I mean) and I think that does make things harder, especially at this time of year when the emphasis is on family.

In terms of exercise, I wanted to pick up on what you said here - I joined a gym two years ago, mainly to lose weight but I also found it good for my mental health. There is a routine involved and you get to know people to talk to. I find it clears my head enormously. I also like swimming and use the sauna, where I like to meditate as well. I do find it gives me a boost over and above walking, which I also do as much as possible.

When I was really struggling about ten years ago, I found pleasure in the sky (sunrises and sunsets) and the colours of flowers - it was like I had been seeing the world in grayscale and now I could see colour, I will never forget that feeling of actually seeing, or probably more like noticing, colour.

I like the idea of doing something new every day, I am going to try that one.

Yoloinpractice · 31/12/2025 21:56

Didn’t make it any further than binge eating on the sofa today. The depressing thing is that it seems to get more difficult rather than easier when I try to string a few days of positive action together.

OP posts:
Ohpleeeease · 31/12/2025 22:45

Don’t beat yourself up OP, maintaining positivity takes a lot of effort, you’re allowed a break from it. Every day is a new day.

Yoloinpractice · 31/12/2025 22:57

Ohpleeeease · 31/12/2025 22:45

Don’t beat yourself up OP, maintaining positivity takes a lot of effort, you’re allowed a break from it. Every day is a new day.

Thank you for your kind words but I’m not sure I have it in me.

OP posts:
Ohpleeeease · 01/01/2026 00:27

Yes you do, you started this thread and keep coming back to it, which is such a good thing. You’re struggling, but fighting, and one day will be winning. Bloody well done OP.

fishtank12345 · 01/01/2026 00:31

Yoloinpractice · 27/12/2025 21:36

Yes, I’ve weaned myself off my AD and struggling to deal with feelings of despair.

My peace is found in God. Nothing else can truly fulfil you. All the best in 2026

fishtank12345 · 01/01/2026 00:32

fishtank12345 · 01/01/2026 00:31

My peace is found in God. Nothing else can truly fulfil you. All the best in 2026

by the way I have many challenges in my life... that is why I need God to walk through it all with me.

Giggorata · 01/01/2026 00:54

Can't say anything better than the excellent insightful things and advice others have said, but I want to tell you that you're clearly NOT awful.
Despite feeling like crap, you got yourself out of bed to do things for your husband who isn't feeling great and you have signed up to donate blood to save lives. These are the actions of a kind and unselfish person.
You'll get there.

BooneyBeautiful · 01/01/2026 01:09

Yoloinpractice · 27/12/2025 22:34

Mother and siblings originally but I’ve had decades of evidence from others since then to back up the facts

They aren't facts; they are opinions. We all get on with some people, but not with others.

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