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I feel like I am going mad

42 replies

mum2jakeyroo · 02/06/2008 08:34

I have had depression for the last 6 months and thought I was finally getting through it. Anyway last week was one of my worst weeks ever. No motivation to do anything, crying at everything. Then on Saturday morning my dp, told me he can't cope anymore. I am pushing him away. He looked at me with pure hatred. I have 2 ds's and my 3 yr old had the worst tantrum ever yesterday and has started wetting the bed. I can only think it is my situation that has brought this on. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

OP posts:
mum2jakeyroo · 04/06/2008 10:57

How you getting on lem. I am feeling a bit better about things.

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 04/06/2008 12:40

up and down - you know how it is, dont have time to post but im ok Hope you continue to feel better but do go to the docs still xxx

bossybritches · 05/06/2008 10:05

So glad to hear you're feeling brighter mum2JR

LEM- the ups will get more often & the downs decrease honest!!

Good luck for the stomping in the Gp's tomrrow ladies don't forget the DM's

bossybritches · 06/06/2008 07:25

M2JR & LEM hope you get on ok at your various appts.

mum2jakeyroo · 06/06/2008 07:50

thank you. I feel a bit better today but am still going to go. Need to get it sorted asap for the sake of dp and dc

OP posts:
bossybritches · 06/06/2008 08:06

good for you! you are probably starting to feel a bit better because you are getting some help & don't feel so negative.

mum2jakeyroo · 06/06/2008 16:34

well that was a good visit. Dr was really good. Is going to try and speed up counselling. Wants me to speak to Health Visitor (apparantly they can be of help - not sure how) and has now mentioned a local mental health team that may be able to help. I just want to do anything to keep my family together and stop me feeling like this. How are you LEM - hope you went to your doctors. x

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 06/06/2008 18:57

So glad that you went to your doctors m2jr. That is really positive progress I haven't been to mine as i thought i needed to for meds but i had a repeat prescription. I figured i would make a more timely visit.

bossybritches · 07/06/2008 00:51

Well done M2JR -=not an easy visit to make but great that he/she is so helpful

LEM -the meds are good but don't leave it too long to have a check-up & a chat even if you are doung OK- the gp's like to know!!

lucyellensmum · 11/06/2008 20:34

just responding to your other message on your health thread. Sorry to hear that things are still looking bleak. It will be a long process im sure you know that. We have our ups and downs DP and I and there are times when i feel we wont go the distance, but please don't give up. I know its terrible, but there will be a time (hopefully sometime soon) when you don't feel this way and maybe you can pick things back up - i really hope so.

mum2jakeyroo · 12/06/2008 08:01

I'm not sure. This has been the worst 2 weeks ever in our relationship. I can't stop crying. I really don't think we are going to go the distance. We have even stopped talking. He just says horrible things now which I know I have drove him to in the long run but I am trying my best. I just feel like it would be better if I left but the other part of part of me really can't bear to. And the worst thing is I am 22 weeks pregnant and sometimes wish I wasn't.

OP posts:
mum2jakeyroo · 12/06/2008 08:27

I feel silly too talking about it on here but I don't have anyone else to turn to.

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lucyellensmum · 12/06/2008 10:08

Oh dear. I AM sorry. This must be hard for both of you. (right now i have so long as it takes DD to eat a dairylea dunkable to type so this might be a bit rushed).

Why has this week been so bad? I know that him saying the stuff about not being able to cope has probably made you feel terribly insecure. I was the same when we were in the make or break situation. One of my friends who is also a friend of Dave must have been talking to Dave because he said to me in an email "best let things lie, otherwise you are going to fry his head" and that is exactly what i had to do. It was terribly terribly hard. I didnt realise i was suffering from depression so we both thought i was just a horrible person. Can you bear to just "let it go" the past couple of weeks? Say no more about it? I know that after something like this you need all the reassurances, but that seems to be something he can't give you right now. Pressuring him into doing this is going to be counterproductive. I hated "putting up and shutting up" but i had to. Precisely when i needed reassurance and extra loving, i had to take a step back. That was two years ago. As you know, things are far from perfect although finances are our big pressue just now and we do try not to let it get to us (TRY). Im not being very clear am i?

I just think you need to take time out, both of you, not from each other, but from this issue. You have a baby on the way (which will be wonderful i promise) and that is alot of pressure too. Just step back, "take a chill pill" grit your teeth, cry into your pillow, whatever it takes.

Is there any progress with the doctors?? Could you make another appointment, tell them things are bad just now?

The thing is, you are pregnant and you have stopped your ADs, you are going to feel like shit - can you hold on to that maybe, that the feelings are hormonal, not real? Does that make any sense?

I wish i could do more to help you i really do. I think online forums are great and you shoudlnt feel silly talking on here. My heart has been spilt over and over on the pages of mumsnet. I do a good line in self pity when i have PMT and i come here and vent, often getting told to buck up and it does help.

So, what is the plan for today, how are you going to make today different and better? Buy some flowers and stick them on the dining table? Go for a walk in the park, go to a museum, anything, something trivial so that you can talk to DH about it, nothing heavy - if he doesnt want to talk, fine, you have to accept that. But then if he realises that every time you talk it wont be about heavy stuff he might open up a bit more.

This sounds like im putting everything on you - but you are are the only person here as it were. There is no mileage in me sitting here saying that DH is being inconsiderate, could support you more, etc.....theres just no point.

Please try to do something to make you smile today, even if it is just thinking of my humiliation on standing at the door of my house yesterday telling a bucket full of snails that they were "naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty snails" in a singsongy voice (was evicting them from my veggie patch) only to look up to see a horrified and new postman trying his best to sort my letters so he could make a hasty escape.

The samaritans are just at the end of the phone you know. The number is online. THey are fantastic, and have helped me in the past

mum2jakeyroo · 12/06/2008 14:29

thanks lem. lol at your snails. I am back at the docs tomorrow. But I don't know what she can do now other than listen to me whinge. been at playgroup this morning with ds2 - it happens to be run by sure start so spoke to the lady and she will do a home visit. Just concerned if I get outside people really involved they might think I am not capable of looking after my dc. (To be fair some days I am not). I don't know what is wrong with me today. I think if someone said boo to me I will cry. I don't know whether I can put up and shut up. I bottle things up as it is and don't talk about how I'm feeling. You sound so positive. I hope I can come out the other side.

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 12/06/2008 17:06

Its very easy to sound positive when you are giving others advice, less easy to actually listen to it! Today hasn't been a bad day and if i am honest, things are getting better. I have made some decisions about work etc and i feel better for doing that. Even though im not acting on those decisions yet .

That is fantastic about the surestart. I go to a homestart playgroup and its really great. Most of the other mums are just normal like me (and you) but i was when i got to know people and found out how many women are sufferingt with depression etc. So, please don't feel alone - easy to say, when depression in itself is isolated.

You are making some real positive steps here. I think you should be proud of yourself actually. At the end of the day, only your DH can decide how he wants to behave about this. You are right, i don't think you should bottle things up at all, as that just festers into resentment and explodes in all the wrong ways. But if you are anything like me you will tend to not let things drop - my DP gets cross that i wont let things go, he says im like a rotweiller with a bone. (some might call it nagging

You can only do what you can do at the end of the day. you are doing all the right things.

What i will PROMISE you is this. NO_ONE is going to think you can't look after your children. You are unwell and doing your best to get help and get well again. That sounds like a pretty good mother from where i am sitting.

bossybritches · 12/06/2008 23:50

Hello ladies

M2JR- so sorry you are feeling so shite, it WILL improve honest!

LEm -you sound SO much brighter!

Keep posting & chatting.

lucyellensmum · 13/06/2008 09:30

hello bossy - perhaps its the sun!

m2jr - keep posting, we do have good and bad days, its allowed. We even have bad weeks, months, thats allowed too - but we don;t want it. Hope things are better this weekend.

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