Oh dear. I AM sorry. This must be hard for both of you. (right now i have so long as it takes DD to eat a dairylea dunkable to type so this might be a bit rushed).
Why has this week been so bad? I know that him saying the stuff about not being able to cope has probably made you feel terribly insecure. I was the same when we were in the make or break situation. One of my friends who is also a friend of Dave must have been talking to Dave because he said to me in an email "best let things lie, otherwise you are going to fry his head" and that is exactly what i had to do. It was terribly terribly hard. I didnt realise i was suffering from depression so we both thought i was just a horrible person. Can you bear to just "let it go" the past couple of weeks? Say no more about it? I know that after something like this you need all the reassurances, but that seems to be something he can't give you right now. Pressuring him into doing this is going to be counterproductive. I hated "putting up and shutting up" but i had to. Precisely when i needed reassurance and extra loving, i had to take a step back. That was two years ago. As you know, things are far from perfect although finances are our big pressue just now and we do try not to let it get to us (TRY). Im not being very clear am i?
I just think you need to take time out, both of you, not from each other, but from this issue. You have a baby on the way (which will be wonderful i promise) and that is alot of pressure too. Just step back, "take a chill pill" grit your teeth, cry into your pillow, whatever it takes.
Is there any progress with the doctors?? Could you make another appointment, tell them things are bad just now?
The thing is, you are pregnant and you have stopped your ADs, you are going to feel like shit - can you hold on to that maybe, that the feelings are hormonal, not real? Does that make any sense?
I wish i could do more to help you i really do. I think online forums are great and you shoudlnt feel silly talking on here. My heart has been spilt over and over on the pages of mumsnet. I do a good line in self pity when i have PMT and i come here and vent, often getting told to buck up and it does help.
So, what is the plan for today, how are you going to make today different and better? Buy some flowers and stick them on the dining table? Go for a walk in the park, go to a museum, anything, something trivial so that you can talk to DH about it, nothing heavy - if he doesnt want to talk, fine, you have to accept that. But then if he realises that every time you talk it wont be about heavy stuff he might open up a bit more.
This sounds like im putting everything on you - but you are are the only person here as it were. There is no mileage in me sitting here saying that DH is being inconsiderate, could support you more, etc.....theres just no point.
Please try to do something to make you smile today, even if it is just thinking of my humiliation on standing at the door of my house yesterday telling a bucket full of snails that they were "naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty snails" in a singsongy voice (was evicting them from my veggie patch) only to look up to see a horrified and new postman trying his best to sort my letters so he could make a hasty escape.
The samaritans are just at the end of the phone you know. The number is online. THey are fantastic, and have helped me in the past