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Original poster

Awful anxiety don't want to get up

101 replies

Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 10:27

I've been suffering with depression and anxiety for some time now. My Sertraline was increased a week and a half ago. The last few days the anxiety has really ramped up again. I just feel like I don't want to carry on, I haven't got the guts to do anything to myself but the feeling is so awful. I'm really losing hope that I'm ever going to feel better. Talking therapy hasn't helped at all, I find it hard to put into words how I really feel. Because I'm so anxious I can't eat and feel dizzy and peculiar. Sometimes I feel like just bashing my head against the wall. I just want everything to stop. I haven't got anyone to talk to, I don't have a partner or friends. I don't know why I'm posting really, just to get it out I suppose

OP posts:
Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 17:00

Eyesopenwideawake · 01/04/2025 16:57

Oh lovie - that's not stupid. There's a bit of your mind that has associated teeth with losing your mum and the situation with your family member has triggered that response. Phobias are extremely distressing BUT they can be dealt with. Have you ever had any help with this or spoken to anyone about it?

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No I feel too stupid. I did try and mention it to a counsellor once and I could tell she thought I was ridiculous. In fact when discussing further help I might get elsewhere she said ' I wouldn't mention the teeth thing' So I never have. But it makes me feel like someone's going to die.

OP posts:
OutandAboutMum1821 · 01/04/2025 17:08

Anxiety is a real and terrible feeling. I am so sorry to hear how awful you are feeling, I’ve been there and recognise everything you are describing. It can feel utterly overwhelming.

If this is any help, all I can say is please hang in there. If you feel up to it, try and do any of the following daily: walking, being outside, swimming, sleeping (or at least resting if sleep is hard), journaling, reading, doing something you enjoy.

Try not to think too far ahead, take it a day at a time. I really hope things ease and improve for you soon.

Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 17:15

OutandAboutMum1821 · 01/04/2025 17:08

Anxiety is a real and terrible feeling. I am so sorry to hear how awful you are feeling, I’ve been there and recognise everything you are describing. It can feel utterly overwhelming.

If this is any help, all I can say is please hang in there. If you feel up to it, try and do any of the following daily: walking, being outside, swimming, sleeping (or at least resting if sleep is hard), journaling, reading, doing something you enjoy.

Try not to think too far ahead, take it a day at a time. I really hope things ease and improve for you soon.

Thank you x I'm so sorry you've suffered with this too. It really is awful, worse than depression for me. I know I have to try and force myself to do some of those things, especially getting outside. Today I'm just resting as I feel so overwhelmed but tomorrow I will try and do something, anything.

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Midnightlove · 01/04/2025 17:25

Hi, I've recently been where you are and only just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now my medication has finally seemed to kick in. Why was your sertraline increased? Was it not working well? I'd say the heightened anxiety it certainly due to increasing your meds, I had the same and it was horiffic, but gets better in the end.
Your reasoning is not weird at all. My anxiety has spiralled from a phobia of sick and getting ill months ago. If I hear of anyone being ill my mind goes completely out of control and every worst scenario is constantly running through my head. Try and hold on for the sertraline to take effect and hopefully you'll feel much better x

MrsLeonFarrell · 01/04/2025 17:36

Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 17:00

No I feel too stupid. I did try and mention it to a counsellor once and I could tell she thought I was ridiculous. In fact when discussing further help I might get elsewhere she said ' I wouldn't mention the teeth thing' So I never have. But it makes me feel like someone's going to die.

Show quote history

That counsellor was totally wrong. If I detailed the things that trigger my anxiety they would seem trivial to others but they are real and powerful in my mind. A good counsellor would know that the type of trigger says nothing about the seriousness of the root it is attached to. I hope you find someone you can open up to and who will offer actual support.

Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 17:46

Midnightlove · 01/04/2025 17:25

Hi, I've recently been where you are and only just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now my medication has finally seemed to kick in. Why was your sertraline increased? Was it not working well? I'd say the heightened anxiety it certainly due to increasing your meds, I had the same and it was horiffic, but gets better in the end.
Your reasoning is not weird at all. My anxiety has spiralled from a phobia of sick and getting ill months ago. If I hear of anyone being ill my mind goes completely out of control and every worst scenario is constantly running through my head. Try and hold on for the sertraline to take effect and hopefully you'll feel much better x

I was changed from Citalopram to Sertraline as I've had stubborn depression and periods of anxiety for quite some time. 100 mg didn't do anything so it's been increased to 150mg just over a week or so ago. I'm praying it will actually work and start to kick in soon as I feel like I'm losing my mind right now.Im so sorry about your fears and anxiety too, it's so horrible. But it's kind of comforting to know other people have similar things, although obviously I wouldn't wish it on anyone ever. Thank you for your reply, I hope things are ok for you at the moment but hugs if not x

OP posts:
Myoldbear · 01/04/2025 17:50

I'm very sorry you're feeling so bad.
Could it be that your worry around teeth is because one of your baby teeth came out when your Mum was so ill?
Age 6 is about when this happens.

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 17:54

Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 16:51

No partner. Children not really aware, I make myself ill putting on an act. I suppose I'm scared to death of fully admitting how I feel and that I would have a complete and total breakdown. I don't have any support no.

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So the adult living with you is offering you no support but also… currently a trigger for your escalation of anxiety?

Are you able to work? Or are you dependent on this other adult?

Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 17:54

MrsLeonFarrell · 01/04/2025 17:36

That counsellor was totally wrong. If I detailed the things that trigger my anxiety they would seem trivial to others but they are real and powerful in my mind. A good counsellor would know that the type of trigger says nothing about the seriousness of the root it is attached to. I hope you find someone you can open up to and who will offer actual support.

Show quote history

Thank you. After reading everyone's replies I'm starting to realise I do need to talk to someone about it. I think I would prefer to research and pay for private therapy as the NHS at the moment just isn't really much help sorry to say. They're ok at prescribing meds but that seems to be the limit of their help. I've been having talking therapy but it's with a young trainee who's very nice etc but I can't open up to her at all, it seems all very fixed script and maybe what she's gone through with me might help in the future when I'm feeling better but it's not touching the sides at the moment. It's very light if you know what I mean whereas I'm in a very dark place

OP posts:
OutandAboutMum1821 · 01/04/2025 17:55

Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 17:15

Thank you x I'm so sorry you've suffered with this too. It really is awful, worse than depression for me. I know I have to try and force myself to do some of those things, especially getting outside. Today I'm just resting as I feel so overwhelmed but tomorrow I will try and do something, anything.

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One other thing- I can remember back that during those times, I honestly never thought those feelings would go away, genuinely couldn’t imagine feeling better. It is that overwhelming. I promise you though that this does not define you forever, you can and will feel better again. Hang on to that because it is true, even though it certainly doesn’t feel like that during extreme bouts of anxiety. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little better x

MrsLeonFarrell · 01/04/2025 17:56

Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 17:54

Thank you. After reading everyone's replies I'm starting to realise I do need to talk to someone about it. I think I would prefer to research and pay for private therapy as the NHS at the moment just isn't really much help sorry to say. They're ok at prescribing meds but that seems to be the limit of their help. I've been having talking therapy but it's with a young trainee who's very nice etc but I can't open up to her at all, it seems all very fixed script and maybe what she's gone through with me might help in the future when I'm feeling better but it's not touching the sides at the moment. It's very light if you know what I mean whereas I'm in a very dark place

Show quote history

I hope you find the right person to support you, i have found someone who is really helping me. Private but worth the money, I know I'm lucky to be able to afford it.

Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 18:00

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 17:54

So the adult living with you is offering you no support but also… currently a trigger for your escalation of anxiety?

Are you able to work? Or are you dependent on this other adult?

Show quote history

I'm off work at the moment but not dependent on them. They are in a difficult situation at the moment and when I said they could stay here I was reasonably stable. They cannot leave at the moment or improve their situation right now. I just don't want to discuss how I feel with them.

OP posts:
Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 18:01

Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 18:00

I'm off work at the moment but not dependent on them. They are in a difficult situation at the moment and when I said they could stay here I was reasonably stable. They cannot leave at the moment or improve their situation right now. I just don't want to discuss how I feel with them.

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Ok but this adult is offering you “no support” and a trigger for you feeling suicidal. I think you need to prioritise yourself.

Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 18:02

MrsLeonFarrell · 01/04/2025 17:56

I hope you find the right person to support you, i have found someone who is really helping me. Private but worth the money, I know I'm lucky to be able to afford it.

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I'm so glad you're getting the right help for you. In reality it will be a bit tight for me but I think it will be worth it, even if I have to cut back on other things. I'm going to look into it.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 01/04/2025 18:04

Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 17:00

No I feel too stupid. I did try and mention it to a counsellor once and I could tell she thought I was ridiculous. In fact when discussing further help I might get elsewhere she said ' I wouldn't mention the teeth thing' So I never have. But it makes me feel like someone's going to die.

Show quote history

It's absolutely not ridiculous. I did a webinar on phobias recently; there are phobias of pretty much everything - from buttons to peanut butter. You weren't born with that fear, it developed as a strategy to keep you safe, but it's no longer necessary. Have a look at my AMA as there's more info on there.

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 18:04

Are you signed off on sick leave? Is work situation adding to your stress?

Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 18:07

Myoldbear · 01/04/2025 17:50

I'm very sorry you're feeling so bad.
Could it be that your worry around teeth is because one of your baby teeth came out when your Mum was so ill?
Age 6 is about when this happens.

Yes that's possible isn't it, stupid I hadn't thought of that! It must be something like that

OP posts:
Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 18:08

Eyesopenwideawake · 01/04/2025 18:04

It's absolutely not ridiculous. I did a webinar on phobias recently; there are phobias of pretty much everything - from buttons to peanut butter. You weren't born with that fear, it developed as a strategy to keep you safe, but it's no longer necessary. Have a look at my AMA as there's more info on there.

Show quote history

Thank you I will x

OP posts:
Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 18:13

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 18:01

Ok but this adult is offering you “no support” and a trigger for you feeling suicidal. I think you need to prioritise yourself.

Show quote history

I know but I cannot throw them out on the streets. I know what you're saying but I definitely don't want to cause a break down in family, that wouldn't help. I don't know how to explain how Im feeling to them, it's very hard for me to speak to people. I'm trying to push things along as much as I can. I'm not really even thinking about work at the moment to be honest, just want to get through this x

OP posts:
Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 18:17

@Eyesopenwideawake can you link your AMA please, I'm not sure how to find it. Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 01/04/2025 19:11

Thank you @Eyesopenwideawake x

OP posts:
Unsureurchin · 01/04/2025 19:17

Hey op, I started sertraline for depression and it triggered the worst anxiety I've ever had. I switched meds in the end. Id definitely speak to your doctor about it impact it's having on you.

I was where you are about 10 months ago, it's incredibly hard, those horrible thoughts and just no ability to function. I am now nearly back to old me and I'm so glad I pushed through. Therapy, medication and time have really helped me. And pushing myself to do really simple tasks and building up a routine. Something as simple as brushing my teeth felt like climbing a mountain.

Just remember it won't be this bad forever. There's a way out, just keep on keeping on

Original poster
Tworedbicycles · 02/04/2025 09:02

Unsureurchin · 01/04/2025 19:17

Hey op, I started sertraline for depression and it triggered the worst anxiety I've ever had. I switched meds in the end. Id definitely speak to your doctor about it impact it's having on you.

I was where you are about 10 months ago, it's incredibly hard, those horrible thoughts and just no ability to function. I am now nearly back to old me and I'm so glad I pushed through. Therapy, medication and time have really helped me. And pushing myself to do really simple tasks and building up a routine. Something as simple as brushing my teeth felt like climbing a mountain.

Just remember it won't be this bad forever. There's a way out, just keep on keeping on

I've woken up feeling worse, and feel really sick as well. Why don't they warn us about these side effects of massive anxiety etc. What med did you change to? I'm really glad you're feeling better and coming out of it. It's really hard to hold onto hope at the moment

OP posts:
Unsureurchin · 02/04/2025 09:05

I'm on fluoxetine now. That caused some awful side effects too but it was worth it for how I feel now.

Definitely reach out to your GP today if you can. I'm sorry you feel worse today. Do what you need to do to survive the worst bits. If you need to sleep then sleep. Your body is going through a lot with how you're feeling so it needs a lot of rest. And remember, you are worthy of being kind to yourself, it's something I often forgot in the dark times.