Anticipation anxiety

[MyGreenBee]

Hi I’m 24f and have such anticipatory anxiety ( think that’s how it’s said lol) and it’s ruining my life.

I worry about appointments and events months even years in advance and start worrying about every single outcome and from that outcome what will happen etc.

for example I have a checkup at dentist in one months time and I’m going to be discussing possibly getting wisdom teeth out - I’m worried now the appointments not coming quick enough , what my dentist will say , how long it will take to get referred to get them taken out , what will go wrong with the surgery if I have them out - worrying I’m to old to get them out and that it’ll cause complications as most people have them out younger. It just goes on and on and on. I’m googling for hours not sleeping.

It’s not just this but with other things too. I have a wedding next year to attend and I’m panicking about my outfit my conversations with people etc it’s just so exhausting.

I’ve tried to get tips off of my partner as he is so chilled and never seems to worry about anything but I just can’t seem to stop this extreme doom and anxiety.

Does anyone have this kind of anxiety ? How do you deal with it and what do you do to keep calm ? Thank you

I’m finding mumsnet so helpful for advice. 🌸

BTW, all of those of you who have worrier mums, don't forget they learnt it from their own parents/grandparents - it doesn't just happen. Up to you now to break the generational link 😊

Excellent point @Eyesopenwideawake A good motivator to make the change.

Or actually you don’t give a shit about it. I’m getting loads of positive things from my crone phase of life 🤣

If doctors appointments are hard for you could you ask for a phone one? Or some places offer online e consults.

Thanks so much everyone who gave me advice! It’s really helped me ! I’ve finished that worksheet and have started feeling more positive ! After I go to that dentist appointment and find out what’s happening I’ll just take it one step at a time and I’m staying away from google ! My mind does keep wandering but I keep distracting myself with films ! It’s in about 3 weeks time so I’ve got 3 weeks of movies and relaxation (in between work)

In the future I won’t tell my mother about things that are happening in my life medically as she does just scare me. I’ll go to my beloved for advice instead as he is just so chilled. He’s 14 years older than me so I think he’s a lot wiser and has had more experiences which helps for someone like me !

I think I’m going to go ahead and see if I can speak to a therapist and see if cbt is an option , without going into to much detail
, I have a lot of childhood trauma and this would be good to talk through as well. I just want to stop catastrophising and feel calm and peaceful!

thanks so much to everyone who gave me advice and took time to show care. It can be so lovely on here.

💐💐💐

When my partner is feeling down in the pits with it all he watches The Detectorists. Must’ve watched a dozen times! He loves their world and gets swept into it, their friendships, the humour, their passion for it, being out in the field and the sun is shining. It really lifts him up and makes him try and create a bit of that world for himself.

Your mum being like that is actually a positive because it means its likely just learned behaviour. Much easier than if you just were that way inclined. My mum is a worrier so I just don't tell her things until they've already happened.

She was a nervous wreck when I was going to a work Xmas do that was half hour away. Telling me to be careful on the motorway, not to drink any alcohol which I don't anyway, don't give anyone a lift in case they distract me etc.

Update - guys I think I’m just feeling worse . Sorry to be so annoying I don’t really have anyone I can’t vent to.

I’ve tried to be positive and I’m panicking. I feel my bite is suddenly off like I can’t close my mouth properly I’m worried I’ll have to get braces I’m worried that my dentist appointment is still 3 weeks away I’m worrying about everything. My partner is so chilled but he’s getting annoyed with me worrying saying there’s nothing wrong with my teeth or bite and everything will be fine if all the worst case scenario things I’m thinking happens anyway . I feel bad for him that I’m this way. I can’t stop the thoughts of worry.

I think worst case scenario about everything. I can feel the teeth in my mouth they feel to crowded. I had a panic attack earlier whilst my partner was napping. It’s just to much.

I tried to call the doctors today for a mental health appointment and I hung up the phone as soon as I got through to reception as I can’t face another wait for an appointment.

I feel so silly and filled with the anxiety :(
💐

I think you are fighting it too much. There was an article in The Guardian the other day that might explain this better. Hang on while I look for it

Edit. Here it is www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/jan/07/the-anxiety-secret-how-the-worlds-leading-life-coach-stopped-living-in-fear-martha-beck

I tried to call the doctors today for a mental health appointment and I hung up the phone as soon as I got through to reception as I can’t face another wait for an appointment.

Maybe just watch something nice and have a cup of tea just for now.

How about you ask your partner to make the appointment for you if you can't face the call, or you complete the online request?

If a task is too big, break it down.

When you go to the doctor, have something already written so you don't have to find the words.

It's OK to find things difficult. Small steps are fine. Don't focus on what you can't do but rather on what you can.

I feel bad for him that I’m this way. I can’t stop the thoughts of worry. Your worry is not harming him, so just focus on you.

OP, what you feel are dental/bite issues may be physical symptoms of your anxiety — I hold huge amounts of tension in my lower jaw, and at times it clicks and is so rigid I can barely close my mouth fully and it’s frightening. I’m seeing a somatic therapist, and have only recently become aware of it, but it’s had a huge impact on my teeth, breathing, voice etc.

How are you @MyGreenBee?