What to do - Even my therapist dislikes me

[Pickandmixmood]

I’m starting to realise that even my therapist dislikes me now that she has got to know me.
I think there is something fundamentally rotten inside me that she can see and that is really upsetting me because I don’t try to be odious.
I’m in two minds about whether to stop seeing her as I have already stopped seeing my psychiatrist for the same reason.
Maybe I just have to accept that everyone can see I am evil and give up trying.

I’m not sure that is true. People don’t necessarily like being evil and not care if everyone dislikes them.

I don’t agree. But it’s irrelevant. As a PP said, this thread isn’t helping your mental state. We can tell you you’re not evil until the cows come home, but nothing we say is going to change your mind, currently. All we can do is urge you to get help. You say you don’t want medication because you should be able to cope on your own. It’s clear though that you’re not coping, and you need some help. Do you want to carry on feeling the way you do, or do you want to feel better?

It depends how you define coping. I appear to be coping because I don’t go round telling people in real life that I am rotten inside.
I would like to feel better but it is difficult to trust anyone when they dislike me but I know that everyone does.

I meant coping mentally and emotionally. Not how you appear to others.

Speak to your therapist, and consider seeing a psychiatrist again.

I'd be questioning any emerging psychosis symptoms or if this is a presentation of something more complex. Only a professional can tell you that but you need to be honest. This thread may not be helpful as reassurance won't help you.

This may not help but have you considered that your therapist probably doesn't have any feelings about you either way? I would say most professionals in this type of job remain detached to keep boundaries. It’s not a bad thing really.

Do they actively behave in a way that shows their dislike for you?

I’ve been told that I had psychosis before though but I know I didn’t. That’s the risk because they can section you and force you to take medication when you don’t need it and you are powerless.

I’ve reported your post I think that is a hugely inappropriate thing to ask on this type of thread.

I haven’t done any evil acts like that but I’m just unlikeable because of my rotten heart.

If I have a headache I take painkillers, if I have high blood pressure I take drugs, if it have anxiety I take something to help that too. Physical and mental illness are the same, an illness so please take something to help this.

, everyone has bad thoughts we’re only human. Having bad thoughts doesn’t mean you’re bad as you don’t act on them. I’ve quite happily imagined slapping my children on occasion but they are now adults and I never raised a hand to them .. they know they are loved.

you need to be honest with your psychiatrist or counsellor and accept the help they offer op

op, evil people don't care about being evil they just are. and being honest it's rarely as black and white as good/evil.I don't believe you are evil I think you just need some help in working through these thoughts and feelings that you have about yourself. please be kinder to yourself, have you discussed these feelings with your therapist? if so please do, they are there to help you. x