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Do your kids ever see you crying?

33 replies

PurpleOne · 14/04/2008 18:40

I don't think I'm going to be able to hold it all in before their bedtime.

Feeling so vile.

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 14/04/2008 21:28

total aside, i used to work as a vet nurse, and one day a family came to see their dog which ws sadly having to be put to sleep. The dad was crying and the little girl (about four) put her arms around him and said, "please dont cry daddy, its ok" - i had to leave the room

Its ok to cry in front of your children, its a natural emotion, how are they to know its ok to do it themselves if they dont see adults do it too.

Servalan · 14/04/2008 21:28

Sorry PurpleOne - didn't read the whole thread before posting.

So sorry to hear that you're feeling like this. Agree with others that say you deserve to do something just for yourself - not about making a living or making your house nice for your family - something that you enjoy and interests you and that will help raise your self esteem.

You are worth it!!

PurpleOne · 14/04/2008 21:56

Hi Servalan,

I did try and 'attempt' to go back to college, just for something to do. Used to go on a Friday evening when the dd's would be with exh for a few hours.
Dunno if it was me being paranoid, but as soon as he got wind that I was doing something...he started turning up stupidly late, cancelling for another time so I had to give it up as I was always arriving much too late.

It does appear that every time something goes right for once, or I get an opportunity, someone always has to piss all over it.
I never get much kid free time anymore, to pursue other things. It's all just work, kids and sleep. Just feel like closing the damn door on everything.

OP posts:
Meandmyjoe · 14/04/2008 21:56

So sorry, you're feeling so 'wobbly'. i felt similar last week. I actually wrote about how I wouldn't care if I died and how I wanted to crwl into bed and never wake up. Today, I re-read my whole thread and I have to say, I was really shocked at how low I actually was.

I guess reading it with a clearer mind made me realise quite how desperate and lonely I was. That was the low point of 8 months worth of feeling shit and anxious, actually 17 months as I felt pretty low throughout my whole pregnancy too, despite planning ds and being excited, I was terrified and felt very isolated too.

The only 'help' I can give you is this..
Last week I felt the same as you do now. This week, although my situation is more or less the same, I don't feel like I did when I started that thread. I honestly was so shocked to believe I had actually felt those things. It's almost like the sadness and the desperation just took over and I had a melt down. Quite scary, almost like reading someone elses feelings and emotions now.

I'm so sorry you are out there feeling like this. Remember that you aren't alone. There is always someone to talk to. I know you don't want to 'burden' your daughters with how you are feeling but perhaps you could arrange things to do with them. 'girly things' that might cheer you up, even if it's just half an hour of doing eachothers hair or something like that! Remember that as they grow older, your daughters will be like your best friends and you will never ever have to be alone.

If my mum were still alive, I hope we'd have become best friends and I think that your daughters are very lucky to have you. xxxxxxxxx

PurpleOne · 14/04/2008 22:25

That's exactly how I feel right now

Last felt like this about 10 months ago, then with all the other crap going on too. Often feel like I'm always giving and never getting anything back. No love, no TLC, no appreciation.

And I'm tired of it.

OP posts:
Meandmyjoe · 15/04/2008 06:26

How are you feeling today purpleone? Just letting you know that I'm thinking of you. It will get better. xxxxx

Meandmyjoe · 15/04/2008 06:41

Oh and by the way. I bet your girls adore you. I know it feelis like you are always giving and never getting antything back but you are their world, they just don't even realise it cos it has been this way their whole life. They will realise it one day though! I understand how tiring it can be. I really hope you are feeling a bit brighter today. x

Sunflower100 · 15/04/2008 08:54

Morning Purpleone - Just wanted to see how you are today. I really would echo what Meandmyjoe says about how much your girls do adore you - the fact that they don't express it shows that you are their constant support, rock - and mum- so you must be doing a pretty good job there! And they will look back and really appreciate it - especially when they become mums themselves!!
How about going to the doctors though? You sound pretty low and you need some help.

Coudl you afford to sneak off to the cinema or do something you really like just for a break and a reminder of who you are (not just a mum). I often find a reminder of the person I used to be works when I feel low.

Sending you a big hug anyway

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