Anyone else sad and want to hand hold?

[Helplessandheartbroke]

Mumsnet has really helped me pull put of a possible breakdown and while I'm out of the worst of it, I'm still very sad. I'm crying to myself now so I can put on a brave face in the morning.

You too @Helplessandheartbroke .

Much gratitude for the support and kindness on this thread.

Hey how is everyone? Hope you all had a nice weekend x

Had a good weekend, had a bad day today 🥲 can't win! Hope your all well x

@hk1993x great that you had a good weekend! What's thrown you off today? X

How are you doing @Helplessandheartbroke ?

My weekend was OK. I kept things very simple and didn't expect too much from myself (or the kids).

Yesterday and today have been tough though, low mood, tears, the usual.

@ijustneedtokeepbreathing sorry you're having a rubbish day! Anything you'd like to talk about?

Not to jinx it but I'm doing ok I think atm. Been here before though so just trying to enjoy it while it lasts x

It’s hard isn’t it @Helplessandheartbroke as you get so used to feeling rubbish you question it when things start to feel better! Long may it last for you though lovely ❤️

my days been ok, been busy with work so not much time to dwell and feel anxious!

sending hugs to those that need it x

@Helplessandheartbroke just my own head undermining me as usual.

Lovely to hear you're doing well!

@Whycantgiraffesdance thanks lovely and yes I've been keeping busy too which is helping. Hope you're ok? X

@ijustneedtokeepbreathing thank you! As above just keeping busy. Remind me do you have ocd? X

How is everyone doing? It's a bit quiet here ..

I'm struggling today, just feeling unhappy for no real reason. My partner's got a cold, and I feel unloved because he won't kiss me. Stupid I know, but I need that closeness.

I don't know what to do with myself, closer to tears all the time. He's gone home and I just feel alone and sad.

Can I please join? I'm at rock bottom today. Nobody IRL I can speak to apart from my psychologist. Having awful marriage problems.
Yesterday was Mother's Day here. One of my AC died a few years ago so it's already a really difficult day.
Only one of my four other AC contacted me. There have been no rows or anything so it's blindsided me. I do so much for them. Not expecting a medal for that BTW but I held this family/marriage together for years through the aftermath of AC's suicide.
I miss my late son so much it's physically painful.
"D"H and I supposedly reconciling. He's in therapy, a lot of the time doing the "right" things.
But yesterday I was hugely triggered by something directly related to what he's put me through. Really awful, I had rolling panic attacks.
He was dismissive and cold and ended up in yet another day of screaming matches while I sprillaled. He apologised today but that's what always happens. Apologises, promises he understands. It's all words.
I'm scared of divorce. 25 years married and I'll be financially fucked even with a 50/50 split as I can't work any more.
I have CTPSD on top of bipolar and today I feel hopeless and in so much pain. I have so much to do but feel paralysed.

@Imatorturedpoet sorry I've been locked out of my account. Has today been any better for you?

@Weatherwax13 hello and welcome! I'm sorry to read your post. Can I please ask is AC adopted children? Have you heard off the others today?

I've been ok during the day, enjoyed the sunshine and DP took me out for a meal, but when I'm alone I just think, what's the point?
Hope you sorted your account out.

Thanks so much @Helplessandheartbroke Sorry, AC is adult children. One of MN's many codes! I had an apology from youngest son after he sent me a barrage of requests today (which I normally would help with immediately). I first of all responded simply "you didn't contact me on Mother's Day and it's hurt me"
This is a first for me as I'd usually have kept quiet. But I thought wtf, he's 23, not a child.
I'm having therapy today as I was fitted in as an emergency.
@Imatorturedpoet totally relate to thinking "what's the point "
I've been very depressed at times during my life but this feels beyond anything I've experienced.

Sorry to hear that. I wish I knew the answer. I just practise gratitudes at bedtime and try to think, it's a new day each morning.

@Imatorturedpoet meal with dh sounds lovely! Can you try a gratitude list tomorrow? (Positive points) we sometimes need to remind ourselves.

Ds has been up for an hour. 2nd bad night in a row! I'm shattered. Working full time too!

@Weatherwax13 good on you for saying something. I would have messaged each one. Are they all boys the ones you didn't hear from? Thanks for explaining AC seems so obvious now you've said I just couldn't figure it out! Try not to take it too personally as hard as it is. It's a reflection on them more than it is you. My mum has 3 girls. She got nothing off one, a late card off the other and a cars and gift off me. Some people are just selfish thinkers at times!

Thanks @Helplessandheartbroke , hope you're ok? I did do the gratitude list in bed, not sure it helps but I keep trying 😁 Heavy rain here this morning, that didn't help, plus not sleeping much due to pain.

My AC are rubbish at remembering dates, I never get birthday cards or gifts, I think maybe it's just not that important to them and they don't think about the fact that it might be important to me. Strangely since DS lives with his girlfriend "he" now remembers Mother's Day 😂

Yeah @Imatorturedpoet I did get one sweet msg....from one of my DS's girlfriend.
I didn't bring my sons up to be this useless so it's infuriating if he's going to start wife-sourcing his family responsibilities .
They're usually pretty good so it was just a shock to be ignored on tip of everything else.
Saw psychologist and psychiatrist yesterday in the end. Both said I need to consider hospital due to the severity of the depression. Feel almost catatonic. Having to make a real effort to even type this. But I have to get it out somewhere!

Same .. no way did I bring up my kids like this!

A hospital stay sounds like heaven at the moment, just away from every day life. I often think that, but don't have a psychiatrist or psychologist to suggest such things. I'm lucky if I can see my gp!

Hey both, sounds like you two have a lot in common. I'm glad everyone can share on here. I'm exhausted. Hoping ds sleeps tonight. I rang his pediatrician today to try and get more help (he's asd) waiting for a call back. @Weatherwax13 are you in the US? Just thinking of time difference but hope you can both rest this evening. @Imatorturedpoet keep adding to your list. It's important to celebrate the small achievements. Even getting out of bed for some.

Hope everyone else is OK x

Yes it really helps to talk here 😊

I will stick at it.

I was in a foul mood this morning ABs extremely tired. I bought a tarot card set this afternoon and am looking into reading the cards and feel a bit happier with something to do!

Ooowww I'd love a reading if you fancy practicing. Well done you! Great motivation. One for the list! X

Definitely! Just let me get used to the cards and I'll get back to you 😊

If you have a question let me know, either on here or by PM. Feeling fairly comfortable with the cards now 😊