Anyone else sad and want to hand hold?

[Helplessandheartbroke]

Mumsnet has really helped me pull put of a possible breakdown and while I'm out of the worst of it, I'm still very sad. I'm crying to myself now so I can put on a brave face in the morning.

@Helplessandheartbroke nothing in particular I just feel a bit lost at the moment like I’m waiting for something to shift in me and it’s just not happening! How are u lovely?

and everyone else? x

Right now I'm feeling like "what's the fucking point". Not in a suicidal way but a fed up of it all way. I'm doing everything I should be. Talking therapies, eating and sleeping better, not drinking, taking my meds on time and getting exercise. But I'm no better.

I feel so flat and crap. Like a waste of space. Work colleagues going on days and evenings out and not inviting me. Relationships with friends have disintegrated and are not salvageable. I know now this is mostly my fault as I was slowly and quietly falling apart with depression and anxiety and withdrew from everyone.

I want my old life back. Friends, fun and a happy me.

@Whycantgiraffesdance you seem like the kind of person that looks out for everyone else. You do it on MN. Sometimes it's OK to vent and let it out yourself so you can get support. Remember that x

@Imamumgetmeoutofhere can you say to colleagues 'oh next time let me know and I'll tag along?' They may think you're not interested? When were feeling down we often give out certain vibes. You will get there x

I hope you are all having an okay night, plenty self care, cups of tea and early nights all round ❤️

And you @hk1993x x

@Helplessandheartbroke oh trust me I have said that to them. I still get left out. I just need to try and ignore them. Work is such a small part of my life.

Hand hold to everyone who is struggling. It's the toughest place to be in x

www.sugarandsloth.co.uk/collections/colouring-books/products/the-sweary-self-care-bumper-colouring-book

I have just purchased this! 😂🥹❤️

That’s brilliant @hk1993x how are u today?

thank you @Helplessandheartbroke you are the same, I think when you are suffering yourself it is easier to empathise with others. I don’t like to see people struggling as I know what’s it’s like!

I feel on edge all the time at the moment, it’s like I’m permanently worried about something but there’s no real reason to be!

wishing everyone a happy Friday x

Currently feeling on edge and sad. Got the nurses coming today also. Just feel like im so tired of fighting something I don't seem to be winning, I just want to get better and be happy 🥹 I have zero motivation and I'm having to use diazapam/cocodomol to try bring a lift in my mood which isn't natural. I will do absolutely anything to get well.

How are you? X

Very similar @hk1993x ! Just trying to stay positive all the time and ‘get on with things’ is exhausting! I’ve suffered before with anxiety/depression on and off in the past but this feels so different! I probably look like I’m coping quite well on the outside, still doing school run, working, seeing people but I just feel so edgy inside and like I could easily burst into tears! Like u I just want to feel ‘normal again’!

I have a phonecall with my gp on Monday so I’m going to discuss my meds and see if I can increase again. I’ve also signed up for NHS talking therapies but am waiting for an assessment so who knows how long that will take!

have u managed to get out anywhere at all lovely? X

@Whycantgiraffesdance it's not that you're doing well it's that you have no choice. I'm the same. If I don't take ds to nursery then he doesn't go as dh leaves at 5.30am for work. If I don't work I lose my job and then we can't afford certain things. I feel like it's just plodding along because I have to. It's not a bad thing I guess as it makes us get up and out x

I need a distraction, I've deferred uni and that just now 🥹

Going to try a weightlifting class, the mental health team were out today and they just were like "we've signed you up for a decider skills class but we don't know when that will be" and I've to get another medical done by the psychiatrist, they literally stayed 10 mins. I was in floods of tears and they just left. No wonder nobody ever reaches out for help. Been really disappointed with their service this time round. I know they don't have a magical cure but surely seeing someone in distress they would be more inclined to speed things up?

Ah I dunno. I'm just tired of feeling this way. 😔😔

That sounds really unhelpful @hk1993x i did find the home treatment team mostly good but there were a few times that I felt like they were just ticking a box and didn’t support me properly at all. Do u have another appt booked with your counsellor?

Yeah I see her on Wednesday and have to get another app with the psychiatrist. Just feel like they actually don't know what to do with me genuinely xx

Wakening up everyday, feeling sad. I'm so fed up with this.

We're here @hk1993x x

I went out this morning and met some friends and it was ok I just feel like I’m a nervous wreck inside 🥺 everytime someone asked about me I just quickly changed the subject as i felt like I might burst into tears. I don’t want to avoid situations like that because I know in the long run it will make me worse but I just wish I wasn’t so anxious all the time, it’s such a horrible feeling 😔

sending hugs to those who need it x

@Whycantgiraffesdance sorry to read this. I honestly think you've been so brave for so long youre worried about taking your mask off. Can you offload to dh? X

Thank you @Helplessandheartbroke yes I told my partner how I’m feeling and he is supportive, just like many people he doesn’t really understand it! I think that’s why we all come on here because everyone just gets it don’t they! How are u today? X

Thank you, I'm just tired fighting 🥹 xx

@Whycantgiraffesdance I teared up today on the pet Isle in tesco (washing tabs on the same isle) but I'm ok thank you. No I find a lot of people don't understand. I came back on MN after I lost ddog and was having a breakdown x

@hk1993x you will come out of it x

So tired...Burnt out. Just had a very intense discussion about implementing boundaries. Now I am distressed and have no concentration for anything. I just need to spend time with positive people. Can I get a hug @Helplessandheartbroke ? 😔

The Sweary Self-Care Bumper Colouring Book is so adorable @hk1993x

Hello @Imamumgetmeoutofhere @Whycantgiraffesdance and to everyone else

It just arrived last night!!!! It's brilliant 🤣☺️❤️