Anyone else sad and want to hand hold?

[Helplessandheartbroke]

Mumsnet has really helped me pull put of a possible breakdown and while I'm out of the worst of it, I'm still very sad. I'm crying to myself now so I can put on a brave face in the morning.

@Whycantgiraffesdance it sometimes helps. While dc are out do something for yourself x

Feeling sad today and sore from ECT. Don't see an end to this misery. Supposed to have another session on Friday, just want to sit and cry 😔

So sorry @hk1993x i think we’re all having one of those days today!🥺 I just spoke to gp about upping my medication and I couldn’t speak to my normal doctor so had a 5 minute chat with someone different and felt like I could barely get out what i wanted to say! 😡 I know the nhs is stretched but I think accessing the right care makes our lives twice as stressful!

how do u feel about having another session? Did they say how many sessions might be needed before u might notice an improvement? X

cry if u need to, I did earlier and it helped a little xxx

I honestly feel like going private but they won't treat previous conditions 😔 I will go for another session and see what happens but when the Dr came to see me in the room yesterday I had the headache from hell, I was drowsy and felt like no-one is listening to me 😔 am I entitled to a copy of my medical records from them? I want to see what it is they are actually treating me for. It's anxiety and depression but if I didn't have the anxiety the depression wouldn't be there. Feels like im on a losing battle at the moment and I'm trying to hold on to little glimmers of hope. I'm just tired of it all now. The og dr I was seeing has passed me over to another Dr as I think he doesn't know what to do with me.

I have the option to try a thyroid medication even though my thyroid is fine. They won't give me mood stabilisers etc and I think it's a money issue.

I dunno what to do, I'm still in my jammies, my house is a mess, the kids are running riot, my DH is doing everything the now and I'm sat on the couch just completely disconnected from the world xx

I really wish I had the answers for you @hk1993x ❤️‍🩹 i would have thought u could ask to see your medical records, they are about you so I don’t see how they could withhold that from u? I would like to think the psychiatrist thinks the ECT can benefit u if they’ve put u forward for it so maybe give another session a try and see how u feel after that?

does your husband work or is he at home with u? I totally understand the feeling of being useless and disassociated from the world, my kids are with their gps today but I’m just at home trying to get stuff done but feeling like I’m in constant flight or fight mode! It’s terrifying!

wish I could give u and everyone else that is suffering a big hug x

He's at uni too but had to take time off, I'm gonna try it again on Friday but feel like just running away from it all xx

Yep I feel like running away today too, but we know we won’t as we have our children who need us and partners who love us! I just keep reminding myself we have to carry on and get better because there is no alternative! X

Sorry I've not been on. I've had 3 rough nights with ds (been up since 3am) and I'm working so I'm exhausted and just want to cry.

how is everyone? X

Oh my god I am just so emotional today 😭 went round to see my friend and ds played with her little one and I think I cried most of the time I was there! Feeling so so anxious and on edge today. I feel so out of control and like what on earth is happening to me 🙈

@Whycantgiraffesdance oh no 😥was friend supportive? Did you get what you needed to out? X

Yes she’s my best friend so she’s seen me at my worse many times! I don’t know what happened today I just haven’t been able to control my emotions and stop crying! I think I’m probably struggling with the holidays and having both kids but they have been out with the grandparents too so I have had a break… I think my hormones are to blame too, I was on the pill since I was 15 until having my kids and I swear I was more stable when on that! I need to see my gp to discuss going back on it but I’m struggling to get an appt!

how are u now @Helplessandheartbroke ? X

@Whycantgiraffesdance hormones will definitely contribute too. Defo speak to your gp and see what options are available.

I'm in bed. Ds is still up with dh as he had a nap earlier. I'm just exhausted and emotional. Just took another propranolol as my heart is racing. I hope we all get some sleep tonight x

Really hope you get a decent nights sleep tonight @Helplessandheartbroke

at least it’s Friday tomorrow, almost the weekend x

@Whycantgiraffesdance I'm afraid not.

2.30am wake up. I think he might be experiencing night terrors? Anyway I'm lay here crying, again... dh has took him downstairs x

How is everyone x

Tired. Had 2nd round of ect today, so still early days. Excited to sleep now. How are you? X

@hk1993x also excited to sleep! Hopefully.... how did it go? Any improvements since the first? X

Still early days. Not crying as much which is a bonus, but my mind has fallen out my arse, feeling very floaty. How are you? Xx

@hk1993x exhausted. I hope it works for you x

Me too. I'm so tired 🥹😔

I hope u start to see some improvement with the ECT @hk1993x 🤞🏻

how are u today @Helplessandheartbroke ?

I’ve been out most of the day with the kids and my partner, bit of shopping and lunch out, it’s all fine but I’m still so on edge and anxious all the time and just flat really! I’m going through the motions I’m just not enjoying life! 🥺

Hi all, sorry I've not been on. I got drunk last night and had terrible anxiety all day x

@Helplessandheartbroke Sorry to hear that. I can't drink much, I'm not built for it, but I considered having a couple last night. Probably should have as I didn't sleep.

Has it subsided? I hope so.

Any mutual hugs going?

Another lonely day where everything I have tried to do has gone wrong. I have managed not to burst into tears yet....!

@EmmaEmerald hey! I felt like the worst mum in the world as I never get drunk when I have ds (stays with my mum 1 night a month) but he's been up most the night this week like he has been since 10pm....

Hope you're better in the morning and get a decent night's sleep x

Just here to handhold with everyone 🥹❤️❤️❤️