Hello,
This is my first post here.
I live with my parent and share parenting responsibilities with my ex-gf. Frankly, I'm not a fan of the co-parent label. I'd rather be called a single dad because, well, I am single and a dad. My talk therapist encourages me to use whatever term feels most comfortable. I see my Trafford Talk Therapist, and she's the best I've ever had. She is a life line.
I spend time with my little boy, the one light keeping me in this world, every Friday to Saturday. Getting to this point of access for both of us was a stressful journey, as the mother initially denied everything—DNA tests, visits, scans, even information about the pregnancy. Mediation was what got us access, I sorted out financial arrangements, establishing paternity through DNA testing, and finally secured permanent visitation rights when my son was around 4 months old. Before that it was a few ours on a Saturday and only under the mothers thumb. The process was stressful, especially with the mother initially fearing I might kidnap our child after I asked for nights. Mediation sorted her out.
My ex demanded more money, I got the Child Maintenance Service involved. The CMS found I had overpaid, adjusted the payments, and set a fair amount, my ex was not happy (honestly me and my family feel she has had my kid just to secure herself benefits and a bigger council house). She has three children from different fathers, with only the oldest child's father being somewhat involved but not as much as I am.
The circumstances surrounding the pregnancy were suspicious. She wanted me to move after a short dating period, I refused, I broke it off, and then a month later, a family member received a call informing us of the pregnancy. She had stolen the number from my phone as a backup it seems. She relocated to another city during the pregnancy, making pickups challenging, but my family helps out while I'm at work and I am always there at drop off. I've had comments off not so nice people that I'm a glorified babysitter.
The court process started when my ex posted a C100 when she was not happy after CMS denied her funds for two months. The C100 form was filled with dirty laundry topics, typos and seemed to be written while drunk. I hired a solicitor, travelled to the city she moved to attend court and the court locked in me and y son's existing visitaiton, granting me extra time during the holidays and my son's first birthday. I'm now waiting for the next court date, I will be hiring a barrister, and hoping for the best outcome for my son, although 50/50 - full custody seems unlikely due to the distance I will still ask my barrister to try,
Beyond all this, I dislike my job as management struggles to accommodate my learning disability. I'm currently stuck in limbo and aiming to find another job, but it's proving challenging. My family, while supportive, can be narcissistic, adding to the stress. I have no friends and often feel like a dull, empty version of myself compared to my pre-relationship days. People seem uninterested once they learn about my single dad status, making socializing difficult. My mental health is suffering, and I'm in need of advice, help, and a morale boost.