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Original poster

Why is life so hard?

54 replies

SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 19/12/2004 19:39

I have had a pretty good year all in all. This past month has just been so difficult. My stepdad has just come out of hospital after a really, really worrying three weeks. (See other thread). My husband's great-auntie died on Tuesday and we have her funeral to go to on Wednesday in Bristol. Tonight I have had a phone call from my family in Wales to say my Uncle has died this afternoon. He has been very sick for 2 years now and deteriorateed quickly over the last few months but I am still feeling really sad. It has been really testing and I am feeling really drained.

OP posts:
but · 19/12/2004 19:45

((((Hugs)))) for you at this sad time.

dogwalkinginawinterwonderland · 19/12/2004 19:47

poor you. thinking of you.

tillykins · 19/12/2004 20:00

I'm sorry that everything is so hard for you Sparkler, all at once. I hope you are feeling better soon
take care

Donbean · 19/12/2004 20:14

Hi Sparkler, Thanks for making me laugh on the other thread (vacant) and for your hello.
I know that you have had rotten time,im glad you can still have cheerful thoughts though.xxxxx

IwigitcouldbeXmaseveryday · 19/12/2004 20:18

Message deleted

Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 19/12/2004 20:56

I'm okay - just feel very sad about things really. Makes you think doesn't it when things like this happen around you. I spoke to my mum on the phone earlier and snapped at her a bit as I feel so drained and tired. I rang her back just now to apologise. Gonna make a real effort with everyone from now on - life is too short and precious. Thanks for your kind thoughts and comments. Am trying to keep chirpy.

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Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 19/12/2004 21:59

It's hard though. Things are tough enough already with the stresses of buying and wrapping xmas presents, writing cards, entertaining kids on school hols, kids with stomach bugs, my stomach bug......sorry I'm moaning a bit. Just need a good night's sleep and things may feel a bit easier tomorrow.

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ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 20/12/2004 10:33

Hope you feel better today Sparkler. I know it often appears to be the case that bad things come in threes. Perhaps you have had all your bad luck together and will have some happier times next year.

Festivepussy · 20/12/2004 11:15

Hope your feeling Ok sparkler, youve every right to be sad {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
It is tough at this time of year, lots of us are struggling to carry it on our shoulders but im sure it will be worth it to see the kids face in only 5 days time!!!!!! xxx

Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 20/12/2004 21:47

Have just found out that my Uncle's funeral is going to be on Christmas eve morning in Wales. So that's a funeral on Wednesday in Bristol and one on Friday in Wales. We live on the South coast so we have a bit of travelling to do on top of trying to get ready for christmas. I feel bad too as it's an exciting time for my two dds and I am really feeling really sad with all the goings on. We are leaving dds with my mum all day Wednesday and they will be left with someone for most of the day on Friday too. I should be home sharing this precious time with them at christmas but I just can't be everywhere at once. It's so tiring and stressful.

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Flumberrysauce · 20/12/2004 21:53

So that you appreciate it when things turn good. And so that death is a sweet release. Aren't you glad your Uncle isn't suffering any more?

Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 20/12/2004 21:55

Oh yes, definitely. Am just finding it hard dealing with everything all at once - absolutely shattered.

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Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 20/12/2004 22:02

Will be glad when this week is over - it's christmas night and I am sat with my feet up with a very large bottle of wine.

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Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 20/12/2004 23:04

I really should be going to bed I need as much as sleep as I can get to handle things more positively. It is hard to get off MN though - everyone has been so welcoming to me since I started on here and all the advice I have been given has been wonderful.

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Flumberrysauce · 20/12/2004 23:19

Hey, you know it will get better don't you. People always seem to die in batches. That sounds dreadful doesn't it but they do. Bereavement is actually one of the 'nicest' forms of sadness as you can wallow yourself in the beautiful memories of someone you loved. I'm wierd I like funerals.

Night night xx

Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 20/12/2004 23:21

Am still here - you are so right. In a funny kind of way people really open up and show their true emotions when someone dies. We have had a lot of hugs and kind words in our family since dsd was in hospital. There is a good side to all this sadness.

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mullgedwine · 20/12/2004 23:31

Hoping you feel better soon. Xmas is such a stressful time, no wonder you feel low.

Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 20/12/2004 23:32

thanks mate - hearing this kind words from everyone is really helping me to cope.

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Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 20/12/2004 23:58

been having fun on some of these threads so feeling much more chirpy - a bottle of cheap wine from Tescos has helped too!

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Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 21/12/2004 23:50

Okay - first funeral out of the two tomorrow. Will be the easier one out of the two I reckon. It is Dh's side of the family so I am not so close. Friday will be the hard one - I lived with my uncle and Auntie for a year when I was in college in Port Talbot years ago. And got on well with them while I was there. Being Christmas eve too will make emotions run high I'm sure.

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Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 22/12/2004 19:03

Dh's auntie's funeral is over. It was really lovely. Her name was Daisy and they played the tune "Daisy Daisy" at the end of the service. Really sweet. Absolutely shattered now after the journey up to Bristol. Just have to get through my Uncle's funeral on Friday now.

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ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 22/12/2004 19:06

Gosh a funeral on Christmas Eve is very hard! Hope you get through it the best you can.

winnie1 · 22/12/2004 19:09

SPARKLER, thinking of you, sorry you are having such an ordeal. Take care of yourself too xx

Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 25/12/2004 21:00

Merry Christmas everyone. Funerals are over thank goodness. It was a very sad but touching day at my Uncle's funeral yesterday. He was a lovely man and always up for a laugh and joke. He always teased me and my ds ever since we were tiny kids and we always teased him back when we got older and wiser . The day was lightened for all the family when we went back back to the house for some food and drink and found out that half way through the service someone had got up and quickly walked out. Apparently they were in the wrong funeral!! We all had a really good laugh about this and knew that this was something that my uncle would have found really amusing - I even said that I wouldn't have put it past him to have planned this months ago and that he may have paid someone to do it as a final joke to the rest of us. Bless his heart.

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Original poster
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 25/12/2004 21:12

Am feeling absolutely shattered with all the travelling and all that has gone on. Still have a lot of things going on in the family causing worry. While I was at the funeral yesterday my dh took care of our two dds. They went to the local supermarket and while dh was packing the shopping away he heard a scream and our eldest dd (5) shouts out that she has her finger caught in the door. She hasn't broken her finger but there is a tiny crack in one of the bones. She is going to lose her fingernail and there has been injury to her nailbed too. They have taped and bandaged up her finger and have said that hopefully it should sort itself out. She has to go back to the hospital next Thursday and if it hasn't sorted itself out she may require referral to the plastic surgeon. I am so, so hoping it won't come to this. Not sure how I will handle it if she will require surgery. Also another one of dh's great auntie's is in hospital with pneumonia in Bristol and is really ill. I can't believe what a bad month it has been. I did say that I have had my run of three bad things and that would be it now but things still keep happening.

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