Mental health in bits

[Imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really. My mental health is in bits. I'm close to tears all the time, I'm tired and snappy. I've done CBT in the past for depression and anxiety but it just didn't help, at least long term. I'm so worried it's going to cost me my job, I keep making mistakes and feel like my co- workers hate me. I'm worried it's going to cost me my marriage and my relationship with my kids. I just don't know where to turn.

That's good news @Imamumgetmeoutofhere
Can you have a break this weekend? Kids go to relatives? Their dad, can he not step up? You're unwell, mental and physical health problems are both real, both debilitating. I'm guessing if he's so dismissive he's a big part of the problem

@rumred I went and saw my dad with my youngest today whilst my husband and teen went to the football. It was lovely. We went to town and had some lunch. Then when we got back to his I went and had a lay down and sleep whilst my dad and youngest played games, so that was a bit of a break.

I haven't told my dad though as he would only worry about me and I don't want that. My youngest doesn't know either as they are only 9.

My husband knows about yesterday at work and said "the only one to get you out this mindset is yourself". He doesn't believe in mental health as such. I just told him he's luck to not have felt this terrible, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. He seems the think I can exercise and diet it away. If only that was true. It's beyond ridiculous he thinks that. I'm going to ask for meds and hopefully I'll be allowed some.

I'm already dreading work on Monday though, I feel I made a twat of myself yesterday breaking down like that and I'm so embarrassed.

Im really sorry you are going through this and that your DP is not being supportive.

Try and not think about work tomorrow as much as you can. I know that’s so hard but you need to relax and let yourself switch off. You absolutely haven’t made a fool of yourself, it’s human emotions and sometimes you have to let them out.

Dont be afraid to let people like your dad know. The worst part is telling someone for sure but afterwards they know and hopefully can help support you.

People do react differently and some people just don’t get Mental health like your partner. I don’t get why they are like that but I hope with the next generation there will be less and less of them.

So I've been given some anti-depressants. GP said it will help with the depression and anxiety but may take a while to work and that I might get side effects but these should be short lived.

I kind of feel a failure for it reaching this point but I have the awareness that I need them and they should hopefully make me feel like I used to be, get my sparkle back rather than being anxious, tearful and angry all the time

Don’t feel like a failure. Sometimes we just need a little push with our brain chemicals to make it a bit better. I’m on them, have been for 7 weeks and already feeling so much brighter, laughing more, singing again. Life is enjoyable once more.
what did you get given?

@TreeHuggerMum1 citalopram. Was expecting sertraline to be honest as that's what most seem to have but because I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression at the same time this will help both apparently. Haven't been able to take it yet though as it didn't come across from my GP to the pharmacy so need to call them again tomorrow

So I'm a week into taking my medication. Not going to lie, the first few days were rough, headaches, nausea and shakes. These have eased already. My husband said he was surprised as we haven't had a row all week and I haven't snapped at the kids. I also haven't cried. And I'm sleeping through the night again.

I know it's early days but I'm so pleased I decided to finally get the help.

Thanks to all who took the time to reply to me on this thread. I really appreciate all your input

What is your new medication? Glad it’s helping. Onwards and up…

@TreeHuggerMum1 citalopram, 20mg. I know it may well be placebo affect this early on too. But it's good I'm feeling different regardless.

That’s lovely to hear OP! So pleased for you. Fingers crossed it makes a difference 😊

This is a great update! Hopefully you will continue to feel better. As they say your health is your wealth!

I just wanted to come back and update again, just incase anyone else ever stumbles upon this thread when in a similar situation to me.

Im now almost a month into my antidepressants and I have started some counselling.

I'm definitely starting to feel better, more me. Im sleeping better, snacking less and exercising more.

I'm finding work much easier to deal with and yesterday I was laughing with a colleague until I cried, proper belly laughing and each time I caught her eye we started laughing again. I can't remember when I last did that. I'm also a lot less stressed with the house, and if something doesn't get done I'm not worrying all the time.

I haven't cried for about 2 weeks now and my kids commenting I'm shouting less. My husband said he's starting to see the me I used to be and he's proud of me for asking for help.

If anyone needs help, please please ask. Don't be afraid, you won't be judged and it should change your life.

I am so pleased to hear the update OP! It’s so lovely to hear things are turning around. ❤️❤️

That is so good to hear OP, and your thread may also spur someone on to get help. Very happy to hear things going in the right direction for you 😀