What is your biggest mistake in life?

[pllaqsd]

Just wondering..if you are happy to share of course...what has been the biggest life mistake you have made and did you resolve it/how did it end!?

I used to think I had a few but recent big life events have made me realise the past is the past. I can’t change anything.

I applied to uni but at the last minute didn't go, because of a horrible boyfriend who I was besotted with.

I went the next year (whilst still involved with him) but it wasn't the course or the uni I originally wanted, I didn't leave my hometown, and I really think my whole experience was marred by it.

I'm doing fine now, but I just missed out on a lot because of him, and I think I would be in a better career if I'd gone on that first uni course.

Sliding Doors though, isn't it? I guess you really never know. I could have been hit by a bus on my first day at preferred uni if I'd gone.

TRIGGER WARNING

Allowing myself to be coerced into making a decision that was better for someone else - not me.
I look back on that time & I'm completely disgusted with my weakness/blindness ...
but at the same time, I know I'm now strong enough to never allow anything like that to happen again.

Apples n Oranges

Getting married.
Then staying married when he generally made my life miserable.
Not paying enough attention to the many red flags.
Then having children with him (don't do that - people like this don't get better)

Made many huge mistakes but forgive myself now because I did all I could do at the time.

*aroung

Not insistent my mum pushed for an ASD diagnosis when she thought I had it, age 8. Now in 20s and struggling

Hope this doesn't sound smug but I try to have no regrets. I do my best to be a good person and accept that everyone makes mistakes along the way.

I don’t think any big ones …..

if I had my time again ect I would make small changes . Maybe buying a different house (we didn’t know we would effectively be stuck here nearly 20 years later lol- buts it’s an ok home and warm and we are lucky really)
or not getting so cross at things that don’t matter . Different reactions to things .

Finishing high school a year earlier to go study abroad.
I had the most life-changing experiences, grew as a person and really became more sure of myself than I had ever been, met and loved someone amazing... but I think the smarter decision would have been to carry on with my last year as normal.

@denpark ditto

Not leaving my exdh when I found out about his affair. I stayed for a further 3 years and made a few more mistakes as a result.

Being born to narcissistic parents
which in turn,left me blind to red flags in every area of my life
having my children so young-I was a child having a child (No regrets with the children themselves-just my age)
not walking away from the family until I was 32-that took a lot to do-it almost left me bankrupt in every single way
some of the choices I made have left scars but I’m finally living the life I always wanted
took a lot of self strength to get there,but here I am
still going

Being lazy in certain aspects of life. I think I could have worked harder to reach some of my goals. It's not to late, though! I am in my mid-thirties.

Getting a second dog.

He is nothing like the first one. Walks became stressful and I ended up having to walk them separately (despite endless training).

In the end I've gone back to work full time so I can afford a dog walker every day.

I miss walking the first dog every day. I love the second dog but he has turned my life upside down.

I should add we have the first dog still too. H

Being a bit of a dick to a lot of people I dated in my early twenties. I was living a bit of a crazy life, a lot of work, a lot of partying, but there was a lot of collateral damage and overlap. I should have been a better person. That said most of those people have ended up with really nice partners so maybe I was just a bump on the road to those people. Life is weird like that.

The first two things that come to mind is rejecting a job offer and not giving a perfectly nice guy who wanted to date me a chance…but then again, I can’t really say whether my life would have been better or worse if I decided differently. It’s more like I feel that these would have been interesting avenues to explore, but at the same time I’m happy with my life as it currently is.

Moving away from my parents house last year at 17 thinking it would solve my problems and I could do what I wanted. It has helped our relationship as in we're not having screaming arguments every single day anymore, but it sent me further into my drug addiction at the time and I am struggling more in general, going from having my meals made for me, not having to try and keep my whole flat clean when all I want to do is hibernate in my bed and not face the world, trying to keep relationships with everyone while I'm completely numb and the general comfort of having my dog and just a family around me, no matter how bad it got, I will always miss being able to wake up and go into my living room to see my mum and my dad sitting there, talking to them while I eat my breakfast, being able to waffle to my mum for hours while she made dinner and washed up. I had to leave to break the cycle or it would've never stopped and I have matured more in the last 9ish months than I have in my entire life combined, but I can't express how much I regret the hurt I caused. I hope they understand, I do see them at least once a week and things are always good now but I know it broke my mum at first. However they still deny doing anything wrong that caused me to leave. And I have now pulled myself out of toxic friendships and drugs.

I don't have many regrets in life. I'm quite forgiving of myself and generally feel that I learn from my mistakes.
The things I do regret are the things I'd do differently if I had my time again. I'm very shy and used to binge drink to give myself confidence. I've had so many embarrassing (humiliating) experiences because of this. I wish I hadn't done this repeatedly!!
I'm reasonably bright but never made much effort at school or university. I wish I'd thought more about establishing a career. Instead I've just drifted from one poorly paid admin job to another. I realise I could have achieved so much more if I'd had more confidence and drive.

Not working at school. I did not realise the importance of education as had no career ambitions at that time and my parents took no interest in my schooling

Not working hard enough in my career in my 20s then taking a career break to have DC. I worked so hard to get my chosen career, then took my foot off the pedal once I actually started working in it.
I am now so out of touch with it all and my knowledge outdated that there is no way back.

I can relate to this. It really helped me when a friend said consider the difference between avoidance and laziness. Fear of failure, or avoiding difficult emotions are the biggest reasons I don’t act when I should.

I am learning: if I don’t know how to do something I can acknowledge that and find a way to learn. I should not expect to be good at something I’ve never been taught to do. And I think about why I am reluctant to do things now. Often just some good planning and preparation will allay my fears.

Twice choosing the wrong thing to study. Degree and masters. I should (and would if I had my time again) have chosen psychology for my first degree and IT for masters. Instead my first degree was useless and my masters, later on, was vocational and in a job sector severely culled when the conservatives got in in 2010, just a year after I qualified.

Also, not taking more risks with each house we bought. I'm an overthinker and now with 50 years of acquired wisdom, realise I should have trusted my gut instincts more and not analysed everything and let others influence my decisions.

@bookmarket

That is interesting about the houses you have bought. Have you moved many times and what is it about the houses you've bought that were not risky!?