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How do you create/discover yourself?

36 replies

Morehousework · 21/08/2022 07:39

I didn’t know what it even meant but suddenly feel as if I’m fading away.
one teen off being independent, one teen always on computer.
Dh exhausted and tho he is tryin more to be jolly, all he can really manage is tv and early bed.
doesn’t seem much fun.
mum recently died so huge guilt about that.
im very aware that I’m nearly 60. Starting a new job ( yay) but super self conscious as the boss is about 35. Feeling self consciously old and exhausted and so so past it.
I feel like I’ve been trying to achieve, motivate myself for decades and not got anywhere. Still haven’t painted the skirting boards in 10 years!
I just don’t feel like me. I don’t feel like anyone. I don’t recognise myself in the mirror . My body has changed with illness and age. and the last 17 years since kids feel like they were a blur of grey and housework.
I saw pictures of myself pre kids or with babies and I had created a career and an identity, it felt like. Now I just feel..worn out I think. And empty. Can’t get interested in anything, even though I try and gee myself up. It all seems so much effort.

help! How do I create myself again, how do I get energy and interest again?!

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Morehousework · 28/09/2022 23:24

Hi emmaH2022 I’m sorry to hear you felt guilty about being relieved, and I’m sorry for your dad . It’s rubbish.
I think you’re right, Charcoals sound fun, good and messy, and lovely black handprints all over the farrow and ball! I would love to know what you like to scribble.
notanotherwindow thank you for posting, that did make me laugh!
super well done for getting this far! Have to ask if it’s helping with anxiety etc - or is it a different kind of anxiety?!
Its great to revisit this thread - It’s made me realise after all the enthusiasm, I’ve fallen back into the same old patterns, and may have been teensy weensy bit optimistic at my achievements!
how do you carve time for hobbies? Everything else takes forever!

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Notanotherwindow · 29/09/2022 00:48

In a way it is helping as it gives me something to look forward to each week and is good physical exercise so burns off the adrenaline. The horse is hilariously naughty with a tendency for chewing his tack when left unattended.

I'm not very good yet but enjoying it and feeling a little better in myself which is probably doing wonders for my therapists blood pressure.

Morehousework · 29/09/2022 01:26

awww, that’s great news! And look, posting your most amusing story has spread the joy! Win win!
you’ve got me wondering ..there’s a stable near by!

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Notanotherwindow · 29/09/2022 17:34

You absolutely should! Horses are very therapeutic. Even the one I fell off this morning... He gave me a very sympathetic look as I landed on my arse.

Morehousework · 29/09/2022 20:41

Ha! I am enjoying your horsey tales ( tails doh!) I’m actually On My Own and Trying OutA Hobby! It’s drawing and ive drawn a lovely picture of you! Surprisingly therapeutic!

How do you create/discover yourself?
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Notanotherwindow · 30/09/2022 16:07

It's pretty true to life tbh 🤣

Good for you!

HilarityEnsues · 30/09/2022 16:18

Love the pic! You could definitely make greetings cards with your skills and sell them on Etsy. Or sell your unwanted clothes on Vinted if you feel guilty about just disposing of them. You might unleash an entrepreneurial side...

Morehousework · 01/10/2022 22:55

glad you like it notanotherwindow your comment made me laugh!
hikarity now selling my clothes on vented would be an achievement! There’s some awful stuff. Thank you for the nice comment! I may draw another horse!

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Morehousework · 01/10/2022 22:57

I could draw your next instalment notanotherwindow !

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pennysays · 01/10/2022 23:19

I’m loving this thread. I felt really far away from myself at the beginning of this term and went to paperchase to get a sketch book and pen. I’ve been doodling for the last month - nothing intentional and it has been wonderful.

I’ve been playing sport regularly and it’s been wonderful and helped me get the endorphins flowing but the sketching has been great for my brain.

I also do yoga - short videos which help me connect to my body and slow down. I also do short meditations which are hard but also help me learn to manage my brain.

you sound like you’ve made such great progress @Morehousework don’t get too bogged down by the cleaning. If you start to feel overwhelmed, draw! your priorities will come to you in your drawing.

@Notanotherwindow i loved hearing about your working to save for your horse riding and how hard you’re working to find space for it.

everyone on this thread should feel immensely proud of themselves that they found themselves and have made time for what they need in their lives. You’re all such inspirations.

Morehousework · 02/10/2022 21:58

Awwpennyysays what a wonderful message! I’m so glad it’s spreading joy!
well done you, all your sketching and moving sounds like it’s really working.
everyone on this thread should feel immensely proud of themselves that they found themselves and have made time for what they need in their lives. You’re all such inspirations.
I agree! We’re a wonderful lot!
instill forget to do it though!

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