i am that thick that i cant even end it all properly

[UselessWasteOfSpace]

im a regular poster who has name changed.

tonight, i decided to end it all. i got all my pills together and took the lots (around 80 or so) and guess what........im am still here. i am that useless i cant even kill myself. i used to be a self harmer then my life changed.

now it has gone downhill yet again.

my dp has just told me that it is all my fault why he has been online cybering with women. hes told me that i am a crap mother and dont deserve my child.

he is always telling me how lucky i am that i am with him, living in his house. well you know what, i dont fcuking feel lucky. if i was lucky these pills would have worked.

and just for the record, i have not just posted this for the attention which i am sure you all think. i know i am a pathetic excuse of a human being. i just need to put it all in writing just to prove to myself how worthless i am.

i am really sorry to you all if this is burdening you you. i really am. im forever saying sorry in my life but sorry doesnt make things better. sorry doesnt make life better. and sorry doesnt make me better

I hope the op comes back to this post either having been to hospital and sent home this am

or to say that in fact it was not quite as described but everything is ok

hey we were right, you really do need help

wondering if this has anything to do with certain chat-rooms being in the news, and people calling for them to be banned. if this isn't genuine then it's pretty sick. apologies if it is genuine and i hope the op is getting the help she needs.

this was worrying me this morning. hope everything is ok whatever happened .

hope you are ok whoever you are

i read all this last night, and on reading it again this morning, it doesn't ring true about there being 2 posters using the same name, ie uselesswasteofspace, and her dp/dh, the posting style, grammar and punctuation is identical for both, eg, typing im instead of i'm

if my dh found me in that kind of a state, i would hope he would see to me first, not post on mumsnet

I think people should NOT bang on and on.. on THIS thread and others.. about "things not ringing true".. when really they JUST DON'T KNOW!! It's a suicide thread FFS! If EVER there needed to be benefit of the doubt it's on one of these!! If you have doubts.. DON'T post about them, just move on! Or have your doubts privately.. but post sympathetically... I am sure it's not beyond anyone to consider the possible outcome of a genuine poster being doubted during what could be their last and final chance of getting any help...!!!!!!!!

Here's an example.. the other week, a much respected (by me and everyone else I can think of actually) poster called TwinSetAndPearls was very unwell and her OH posted about it and we all responded sympathetically. Then later (days later I believe when she was out of hospital) she posted.. and she made the exact same spelling error, several times, as her other half. And yet nobody doubted her for a second - at least I certianly didn't - and certainly noone challenged her on it, and rightly so! Reason being, I imagined, is because she is a recognised and respected user name. Whereas last night's poster was "hiding" for what would be very undertandable reasons under the circs. I just wanted to point out that these pieces of "circumstancial evidence" do NOT alwaus turn out to be saying what they might be construed as saying.

I just cringe and cringe when people openly express their doubts when the stakes are this high! So you have doubts.. keep them to yourself!!! If it becomes obvious in the future that the situation was not a real one, then post away to your hearts content about you had doubts so you didn't post.. or you had doubts but you wanted to be supportive just incase.. that's not unfeasible is it??

Sorry for the rant. But I think it's a valid one!

Very well said.

I hope too that all is OK for the lady who first posted and her family.