No motivation and feel lousy

[adee1974]

My lo is one in a month, I have a lovely OH, house, part time job and comfortable life. And yet I feel terrible, is it PND? I thoght you only get this in the early months, I was bit scared and panicky then but it subsided...I joined classes and went to baby groups. Nowadays, if I'm off with my DD, we stay in as have no motivation to go out unless OH is with me. Can't talk to my mum friends as I've given the allure of being able to cope and they all seem to be doin a great jobs. Ome friend has recently had a baby and sent me some texts about stuff she was up to with him, and altho I was happy, I've just ended up questioning my own mothering skills thinking I should have done more with my DD before I went back to work. I feel so lousy and have babbled on, OH is getting bit distressed, is this normal behaviour? Sorry for babbling, I seem to get anxious and depressed (sit and think too much) about everything these days x

Just to add to Lucy's post above - I too got pnd when dd was over a year old - I just became totally panicky, confidence plummeted and I would cry at the least little thing - luckily I had a friend who shoved me in the right direction - going to the GP's was really scary and tbh I did the list thing about how I was feeling and actually headed it 'I think I may have depression' - when I gave it to the dr I just burst into tears and sat sobbing - I also got b12 and it helped. My dr was great -she said not to worry, she'd seen it all before and we could work itout!

The other thing that helped was that I broke down in front of MIL - she was FAB! She took dd and dh away for the weekend which I thought was going to be hell (and also reinforced my belief that I was useless!!)but it was a real turning point - I got a whole 2 days to myself to just have a loong bath, remember what it was like to be me rather than just focussed on how I was letting dd down - I also got some serious sleep - not saying this was a cure all but it really did help!

Off to bed now - let us now how you are doing - big hugs!

Thanks so much you guys, I'm booked in to docs on Monday morning, hope he/she is as sympathetic as yours. Still wary about discussing with friends and family but will try. Its weird how it is hitting me now, just feel not myself. Will get better though, thanks for your advice again and hugs to you guys too

we'll be thinking about you on Monday and don't worry, telling the doctor is a big enough step for now! You can deal with everyone else later!

Adee I am near to you, not sure how to send private messages but am in Manchester area, could give you some support??

I have never done M&T either, dont like the clique thing going on, maybe a stereotype but I havent got the bottle to find out, LOL, such a chicken I am!!!!!

You are not alone in the way you are feeling, I am the same, OMG have never told anyone about the not going out thing unless DH is with me!!!! I "do" sometimes go out after taking LO to nursery, I have baby with me and we go off somewhere, but 90% of time I think "yeah would be nice but easier to just go home"

Keep posting, everyone seems lovely on here and its such a relief to find people who feel the same - and dont mind sharing it either!!! x

Yes I agree, don't worry about telling anyone else now. Tell the doc, at least you won'

t have to face him or her each day then see how you feel later. My parents have no knowledge of my condition - I have never told them as it would not help me for them to know IYSWIM. I told some friends much later on when I had had therapy and could talk about it more easily but then I really only told them to explain some weird goings on in the past.

The only other people I tell now are those who I feel would benefit from knowing that I have suffered (and that is mainly those who are suffering from it for the first time and need to know how common it is to feel so crap)

Good luck on Monday, hope all goes well for you. Its a big step so make sure you give yourself credit for taking it.

Will let you know Monday guys, OH is happy you guys have talked sense to me!My spirits are lifting but nervous about the docs, will write all down and prob scare him/ her!

Monsoonrain, think you have to change your settings and pay a £5 fee, will sort over the weekend and can hopefully PM, where do you live near Manchester?

you guys sleep well and big hugs

x

Hi adee
I just saw your post and so much of what you say echoes my own feelings right now. My DS has just turned 13 months and I too thought it was a bit late to have PND but to be honest I´ve probably been feeling low for the past couple of months.

I too feel I am worrying about everything - literally and I just can´t relax. Things go round and round in my head even hours after they have happened. I also worry that I will pass on my anxiety to him or at the very least he will pick up on it.

In addition I am finding things even harder as I moved to Spain not long before he was born and I feel very isolated here but that´s another thread.

My other reason for replying is because I´m from Manchester and we were living in Salford just before we moved here, we may have passed each other in the street you never know! Such a shame we´re no longer there I would have definitely been seeking you out for a meet-up! Anyway good luck at the Docs

just thought i'd write a wee post to say i'm thinking about you for tomorrow adee. all the best!

Thanks RMM, I'm so glad I listened to your advice. Had a cheerier weekend, even replied to a few MN that were serious or silly! Also have registered now so I can receive private emails too.

Anyways what a palava, went to docs this morning to find firstly they'd booked me in for NEXT monday...my bottom lip started to quiver, thought I'd cry but luckily had a slot this afternoon. My doctor was lovely and supportive (you guys werev right!!). She said firstly I need a blood test to check other stuff then they will look into what anti depressants would suit me, but before we agree to go down that route she gave me a leaflet. Also mentioned about possibly being booked into counsellor, altho waiting list. She mentioned some websites called mood gym (still to google) and see if that helps.

I'm definitely feeling bit more positive, but will take time to feel my old self.

Thanks all for your advice, really appreciate it and I hope you guys had a good positive lovely fandabby dozy weekend to