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Original poster

It's my birthday and I want to sob and sob

123 replies

DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly · 31/12/2007 10:35

I have just completely fucked up everything. This is the worst birthday I have ever had, and I can tell you, I have had some absolute total miseries.

DD ill in bed.
DH ill in bed.
DH bought me presents I did not want and we cannot afford and I was so cross I threw them back in his face and told him to take them back to the shop.

I have exceeded even my own brattish expectations.

I feel so miserable and crap and OLD.

OP posts:
PaperChain · 31/12/2007 18:36
Original poster
DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly · 31/12/2007 18:38

It's gotta be Michael though PC.

Or David...

Or Jonathan....

Or half a dozen other gorgeous men!

OP posts:
PaperChain · 31/12/2007 18:47
ThreeBluecubs · 31/12/2007 18:56

'It is kind of you to speak to me as you must now know what sort of person I really am' - are you sure there isn't a bigger issue here that is making you sad? You seem to have a pretty low opinion of yourself at the moment.

You sound to me like a tired frazzled Mum who does actually need treating and someone to make a fuss of her. I'd apologise and be apologetic and grateful, before asking for receipts Weds/Thurs next week.

Original poster
DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly · 31/12/2007 18:57

Yeah I have loads of issues.

OP posts:
PaperChain · 31/12/2007 19:03

dont think abou those tonight DG

ThreeBluecubs · 31/12/2007 19:06

Oh sorry. Big feet, big mouth & newish here.

PaperChain · 31/12/2007 19:07

dont be willy 3bears! you havent put your foot in it, I just dont want DG thinking too mch about that tonight

PaperChain · 31/12/2007 19:08

willy???

SILLY

Lauriefairycake · 31/12/2007 19:09

Dumbledore, you are quite honestly a lovely person with an enormous amount going on in your life. Being out of the house full time suddenly is a really stressful thought.

I have to do that in February and when the colleges go back I have to try and sort out another course or go part time as I can't possibly be out the house 60hours a week - the point being that this is 'hanging' over my head and is constantly on my mind and i wonder if maybe it hanging over you and how your going to cope/manage domestic stuff is stressing you

Acting out can happen to anyone, noone, however 'sorted' you are doesn't occasionally react to stuff from the past coming up to haunt them

Last night at 3 in the morning while under lots of pressure and during an argument I slapped my husband across the face while he was yelling at me - I teach anger management and I'm a counsellor I have wakened up with a deep sense of shame which I have to get over because feeling guilty and hating myself is really not going to help here.

It took me hours to apologise because frankly I was horrified by what I'd done and just wanted to be left alone to think about it.

So try not to beat yourself up too much

Swedes2Turnips1 · 31/12/2007 19:15

Happy birthday. Once you pass 21 birthdays are meant to be miserable. You get a practical present - miserable git. You get a cheap present - cheapskate. You get and impractical present - useless git. You get nothing - bastard (even tough you told him not to get anything and you are brassic).
For single women it is even worse, it is floods of tears and if there are as yet no children, birthday tears mingle with ticking bilological clock tears.

Original poster
DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly · 31/12/2007 19:23

Yes, been there big time Swedes. You have omitted the stress over not being married or with a steady partner too. Given I didn't marry until I was 29 and didn't have kids until I was 31, you can guess how the birthdays in my 20s went.

OP posts:
Original poster
DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly · 31/12/2007 19:24

Oh God you did mention single women. Sorry, I cant read straight now.

OP posts:
OverRated · 31/12/2007 19:30

Oh DD, I just had a birthday too. And mine was crap. And I felt very sorry for myself. And I hate NYE. So, I sympathise.

But I do think you should do something nice for yourself today. And then, explain about the photo frame, why you'd prefer the plates and hope that DH will understand.

Original poster
DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly · 31/12/2007 19:45

Bit late now, but I have spent most of the day on MN for the first time in years, so maybe I have already treated myself today?!

Actually I have wiped the fact that this is my birthday from my mind. It seemed easier to do that.

I will speak to dh when the kids are in bed, but I don't think he will respond.

OP posts:
bellabelly · 31/12/2007 21:50

Dumbledore - hope your day improved. I was born 31 Dec 1972, a "mere" 35 years ago - do you remember what you were doing?!

By the by, I am trying and probably failing to not sulk at DH for buying the one thing I said I didn't want... You are NOT alone!!!

Original poster
DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly · 31/12/2007 22:20

Well Bellabelly, you have made me smile because on the day of your birth, I was 8 years old and I remember I got my first watch. It stopped working after about 2 years but I only got round to throwing it away (sentimental thing that I am) a couple of months ago.

Tough luck that dh went ahead and bought the one thing you asked him not to. I still cannot get over my dh spedning so much money on something so unwanted by me. I have spent the evening trying to work out if I would have kept my mouth shut if he had bought a cheaper one. I saw one for £60 the other day.

My day has not improved. I am off to bed now. But happy birthday to you.

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 01/01/2008 10:01

DG are you around today? I was talking to my dh about your gifts yesterday and he had Male Insight

Original poster
DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly · 01/01/2008 10:02

Hi, yes I am here - I really do not live here all the time!

Let me have your dh's insight please!

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 01/01/2008 10:08

okay - well as I said me and my dh have completely opposite view of money and I think every birthday/ Christmas he spends more on me than I do on him

he said that ignoring the plates hint was maybe a bad move

but, he said does the phone have a camera on? If your main joy is in being a mum, was he making it easy for you to have lovely up to date photos of the kids on show all the time?

He said sometimes you just want to splash out and buy your wife something lovely that she would never have had otherwise because you love her and want to surprise her, and that's a good thing, surely?

Unless, he says, he actually wanted a digital photoframe for himself, in which case he is a Bad Man

TooTicky · 01/01/2008 10:11

Men don't have a clue when it comes to money anyway.

Cappuccino · 01/01/2008 10:12

lol that is true

they don't feel as guilty about it all the time

Original poster
DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly · 01/01/2008 10:16

Well, perhaps I need to put this into perspective:

For Christmas, my father bought us a new printer, scanner and copier as for years we have had such a poor printer that we have not been able to print out any photos of our children. Dh knew I wanted the printer so I could start doing some enlargements of special photos of the children with the aim of getting some on our bare walls.

Then for my birthday, my father bought me a new camera as our old camera is also pretty poor by modern standards. Dh knew the camera was going to be given to me - he told my father which make to get.

Deep breath.

So now you know that, can you see why the digital photo frame was not really needed? I think dh intended me to plug the frame in and have it constantly running, showing photos of the children day and night. And this from the man who obsessively turns off lights when a room is left empty for one minute! I can't think of anything more tacky, tbh.

Anyway, we have made up now although we have not yet been brave enough to broach the subject of the digital photo frame. I think I might suggest the compromise of swapping it for a cheaper one as I know there are much cheaper ones out there.

OP posts:
TooTicky · 01/01/2008 10:19

How about returning it and having a special family day out?

Cappuccino · 01/01/2008 10:20

I don't think it's tacky

we show slideshows to the kids on the laptop and they love it

I'd like one