It's my birthday and I want to sob and sob

[DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly]

I have just completely fucked up everything. This is the worst birthday I have ever had, and I can tell you, I have had some absolute total miseries.

DD ill in bed.
DH ill in bed.
DH bought me presents I did not want and we cannot afford and I was so cross I threw them back in his face and told him to take them back to the shop.

I have exceeded even my own brattish expectations.

I feel so miserable and crap and OLD.

oh say sorry

go to cinema

don't spoil it for yourself any longer

it's my birthday today as well! I think that birthdays in general, and New Years Eve in particular, encourage you to take stock of your life and, sometimes, it's too easy to think everything is crap. My advice fwiw, is to stop THINKING about everything, apologise to your DH, and just go and DO something with or without your kids. You'll feel 100% better by the time you come home, promise.

Happy birthday.

Well ds1 and ds2 have refused point blank to go and see Enchanted. Ds3 wants to go but he is only 4 and I think it will go over his head so he is crying. I am between a rock and a hard place.

Hmm. Leave ds1 and 2 at home with dh and take ds3 and buy lots of sweets to keep you both occupied!

bellabelly, happy birthday to you too. How old are you? I wonder if I can remember what I was doing on the day you were born?

Enchanted is good but your 4 year old might get bored, my 6 year old dd enjoyed it but was bored near the end.

Happy birthday by the way and I know myself what its like having crap birthdays, mine is the 23rd december and I spend mine last year home alone with my daughter cause one friend was sick, the other didnt have any money and my family were out celebrating another family members birthday, I would have loved to have a husband to spoil me with presents even if they were expensive

Or have you got a DVD at home you can all agree on watching? Yesterday me and ds's brought our duvets down and watched Madagascar with the curtains closed. I provided Sunday Snacks (oh yes it's a tradition) which are bowls of dry Special K (they love it ) with a few jelly babies/smarties scattered in. We had a fab time. But I can imagine with your dc's age range it might be difficult getting them to agree on what to watch??

Capricorns do find it hard to say sorry...I should know Cos usually we are right about everything of course

We also don't at all like being pushed into getting in a tizz. Everything feels out of control and we find it hard to get over it when we do get upset. Well I do...my mum likes a good old row and bounces back quite refreshed. I'm the opposite...I find it hard to forgive people when they have pushed me into behaving in a way I don't like. I wish I was different but there you go.

It's ok DG. Everyone ill in the house and over the Christmas holidays too would drive the best of us round the twist. I hate hate it when they all go down like nine pins and it's me doing my Florence Nightingale act. Your birthday and Christmas and New Year is obviuosly a difficult time of year for you without that too.

No-one is being um sick are they? I know that's something you find especially difficult to manage.

Sounds like you need a bit of peace and space. Can you get out for a day or an afternoon somewhere away from everyone to re-charge your batteries? Easier said than done I know, but if you could earmark a day to look forward to in a week or so it might give you a little lift.

I'd forget the cinema today since they don't seem to want it. Leave them to entertain themselves (dvd?) or take them for a run outside. All mine get cranky at this point in the Christmas holidays.

Yeah the dvd idea would be good if dh and dd weren't monopolising the tv, or should I say dh, who is watching one of those interminably boring music video channels.

I am going to have to abandon the cinema idea as I can't leave dh with all the kids on his own (he really isnt well either) and I don't think ds3 is really well enough to go out with me tbh. He still isn't eating properly himself.

I would like the idea of doing something special another day soon but there won't be many of those in the forthcoming weeks as I am starting a full time course on Wednesday. Me being me, that is only adding to my misery because I don't really want to do it (but is that just cold feet? I don't know) and I am very concerned about having to cope with the family and house as well as a full time course. Dh won't be much help I know (if for no other reasons, than because of his long hours at work). I can see weekends becoming times of desperate catch up with housework. It is the little things I have not had to think about before eg dd has just pointed out she needs new pjs (she has shot up several inches lately) and I suddenly thought "When on earth will I have time to go shopping for pjs?"

Oh and TC, yes dd was sick on the night of 23rd December. I think that is why she is so much iller than ds3 had been with this bug, whatever it is, because she was ill last week and her resistance is weakened.

PJs arent important! Get dd to choose some for herself on line and get them delivered.

which course are you going on? It does sound like you are a bit nervous about it but then who wouldnt be nervous?

I do think it is a good idea to swap your birthday to another day in the year. June or July would be good.

I think you are prob so overwhelmed with Xmas and NYear that you have also felt your bday was overlooked.

Mine is on the 8 Jan but I have never celebrated it so it doesnt bother me!

what about doing some baking with the children who are OK? Make yourself a cake!!

AND SAY SORRY TO DH!! THE LONGER YOU LEAVE IT THE WORSE IT WILL BE!!

Returning to teaching course.

The course itself does not bother me, but the practicalities of being out of the home fulltime does, plus the (minor) fact that I don't really want to go back to teaching.....but that is what the course is supposed to be about: persuading me I do, so I will give it a chance to convince me before making up my mind.

Yeah, I might have to resort to the baking idea. All three dss are now thundering up and down the stairs like looneys. Dh is not shouting at them so he must be really ill...

Poor ds3 could not get his head around the fact that I had no birthday cake, so perhaps if I make a cake with him, that will at least please him.

DDG, your dh will know you are a nice person and not the sort to be ungrateful for pressies. You have just been having a miserable time lately and over-reacted....

I personally would probably prefer the digital photo frame to the phone but wouldn't have really wanted either one tbh - dh is out shopping at the moment and not impressed that I really didn't want anything for my birthday - I need some new boots but will wait till the kids are back at school before traipsing around the shops...

You are absolutely not allowed to feel old at 43 - otherwise I will have to feel old too

Do you want to tell us about your course? I haven't chatted to you for ages (used to be KTeePee) and didn't know you had reached a decision about what to do next... if you really hate it you can always give it up and try something else can't you?

Could you pop out to the shops and get something nice and quick for dinner tonight (or a takeaway) so you don't have to spend ages cooking for a family who probably aren't up to eating much anyway?

And don't worry about your dd's pjs - it really won't matter if they are a bit short!

If all else fails, postpone the celebrations/treats until everyone is feeling better - tell your dh that in Ireland 6th Jan is Women's Christmas and women have the day off and the dhs get to do all the work!

Trouble is SM, I am the sort to be ungrateful for presents. I am a bit of an odd ball really. I don't complain about not getting nice things, I complain about getting expensive or luxury things I didn't want in the first place. I have a feeling I would have been a happy Puritan once! I don't know why, but something makes me uneasy about dh having spent £220 on something completely unnecessary. I know for a fact that a similar thing could be bought for £60. Not that I would have wanted that either.

There is not much to say about the course really. It is a returning to teaching course. It lasts for 5 and a half weeks. I don't want to do it but I have to do something as I can't justify not doing some work now that ds3 is in school. It probably won't be a problem really. I am just not very keen to give up my 12 years of SAHMdom to do a stressful and demanding job. Obviously the course itself is not a job, but it is supposed to lead to the job.

DG - I've been meaning to mention that dp has had a couple of sessions with someone for her emetophobia and (fingers crossed) it's made quite a difference. And she's had hypnotherapy and CBT in the past and neither worked. This bloke is someone who trained and works with Paul McKenna and uses NLP and hypnotherapy.

Anyway, he's in Leeds so if you're anywhere near Leeds I could give you his details.

Re: the course. Really doesn't sound like your heart's in it at all Is there anything else you'd rather do, work-wise?

I am glad for your dp. When you say it has helped, do you mean with the daily fretting about what might never be, or do you mean with dealing with the event when it happens? Because I feel I need help with the fretting rather than the coping when the event happens. I am not near Leeds unfortunately.

Yes my heart is definitely not in the course but I have to do something. This decision has come after years (literally) of arguing back and forth as to what I should do. It comes down to the fact that teaching is what I know best and it offers the best pay and provides the much needed time off during school holidays. I would rather have a quiet office type job - anything I could leave behind at the end of the day - but I am not qualified in that direction.

Yes, it's helped with the fretting. They worked on how dp reacts to the thought of it/potential for it to happen, and how to break down that physical chain reaction which results in her worrying.

Might be worth travelling? I got his number from ringing Paul McKenna's office so they might recommend other people in different areas of the country.

Loads of public sector places now offer flexible working at term time only - why not keep an eye out for an office job if that's what you'd prefer?

Really sorry to hijack but DottyDot please can I have that number. My mail is [email protected]

Hope your day gets brighter Dumbledore xx

I am shamelessly bumping this thread because I think my old mate DG could do with even more support. She has had a crap day, and I am too far away to go round with a bunch of flowers.

Thanks everyone

DG with regard to the fretting

My CBT therapist recommended that i put aside a certain time of day for worrying when I saw him for my health anxiety

every time I worried during the day I had to think - no, I'm not going to worry about that now, because I'm doing something else, I will put it off and have a proper worry about it at 7.30 or whatever (you choose the right time)

come 7.30 I would be sitting on my bed trying to worry & feeling like a proper nana

I could fish about and find the link if you liked; there were online resource sheets you could work through

that would be v helpful for DG, thanks coffee.

I think the idea of a 'worry time' of day is great! I am in therapy (prob will be all my life now!) but I havent come accross that one, thanks!

Aw that's sweet PChain. Yes I'm a DG fan too. She's fab. There I said it!

Virtual flowers and a Michael Kitchen birthday kissagram for DG!

Dont, you'll start me off crying - let alone DG!

here is present for DG

hehe

OOOOOH I like I like! Now get me that MK kissogram for real and I will think my birthday is complete!