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Original poster

My post got deleted - ‘know I’m going to kill myself’

96 replies

missgraciea · 12/01/2022 09:16

I just wanted to message on here to say thank you for the support that I received on the post and that I am ok. Unfortunately as it has now been deleted I can’t use the messages to show the GP that I am going to today.
Unfortunately Mumsnet sent round the police to my property my using the IP address to trace me which was the last thing I needed and so I’ll be leaving Mumsnet now but wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of the posters that did give me support on the previously thread.

OP posts:
MONSTERSALAD · 12/01/2022 09:45

MN did absolutely the right thing. I hope you can get the help you need, OP, and that one day you'll be able to reflect on this and think, 'Yeah, I'm glad I'm still here - thank you, MN, for caring'.

And from a purely selfish viewpoint: if someone posted something about what looked like their imminent suicide on a forum I controlled, I would also contact police simply because I refuse to have someone's death on my conscience. I wouldn't be prepared to go to an inquest and say 'Yeah, they did say they were going to kill themselves, but I didn't think it was any of my business and I didn't want to meddle'. I would always stick my beak in, and I think a lot of people would. I hope so, anyway.

TheRealHousewife · 12/01/2022 09:52

Bloody well done MN. There is a duty of care here and if you’re in charge of children that also includes them. Hope you get the support you need.

FiveShelties · 12/01/2022 09:55

@HollowTalk

They sent the police round?! I am really glad you are okay but I think their actions are way beyond what I would expect on here.
I think it is fantastic that they cared enough to check that OP was OK. I cannot think why you would not want that to happen.

Their actions were way beyond what I would expect and I am delighted by that.

I hope things improve for you OP and that you do continue to post - take good care of yourself.

NewtoHolland · 12/01/2022 09:55

If you think about it for the moderator or staff bit having to sit and hold that risk and be really worried about whether someone is OK ...it isn't a fair expectation to leave someone sitting with that. If anyone discloses serious immediate risk to self or others they have to act upon that. After all disclosing these things especially using that kind of language there is an element whether conscious or not of aiming to illicit rescue...

I really hope there is lots of great support in your area, there are so many amazing services now who can be alongside you in your journey and offer kindness, DBT or distress tolerance skills can be life changing, in the meantime wishing you comfort and peace from your pain as you make a journey towards recovery.

NutellaEllaElla · 12/01/2022 09:56

They did the right thing.

DoTheyKnowItsLemonJuice · 12/01/2022 09:57

MN did the right thing, of course a welfare check was appropriate. We’re not all shouting into a void here, it’s a public space.

OP — I didn’t read your earlier thread but I hope you will take MN up on their offer to supply copies of the messages for your GP.

Mumdiva99 · 12/01/2022 09:59

OP I'm pleased that you are back here posting and got support from the board.

Wow I'm impressed that MN goes that far. I had no idea. Sometimes when threads are pulled I wonder why if the person really seemed to need support....but in this casenit was because they had got you some real life support. Well done MN.

EarringsandLipstick · 12/01/2022 09:59

@lightand

If they have to do it they have to do it, but it is a warning to everyone that posting on a social forum is very far from a private thing to do. You are essentially telling the world your private thoughts.
MNHQ will do nothing about anyone's 'private thoughts'

They did take action commendably where a poster stated, definitively, she was going to take her life. I didn't know MN could do this but I'm glad they did.

Makingnumber2 · 12/01/2022 10:00

I’m so glad you’re still here and ok @missgraciea
I hope the GP can provide you with the support you need and although you are unhappy with MN’s actions, I think one day you will look back and feel glad someone cared enough to make really certain you would be ok. Flowers

HopingForMyRainbowBaby · 12/01/2022 10:01

Well done Mumsnet

purpleboy · 12/01/2022 10:02

It's good to hear from you today @missgraciea
I'm sorry you feel MN went to far, I hope you so continue to post here there are many people who want to help you and support you. Please don't stop talking Thanks

Gonnagetgoing · 12/01/2022 10:03

@Mumdiva99

OP I'm pleased that you are back here posting and got support from the board.

Wow I'm impressed that MN goes that far. I had no idea. Sometimes when threads are pulled I wonder why if the person really seemed to need support....but in this casenit was because they had got you some real life support. Well done MN.

@Mumdiva99 - but she's planning on leaving the site - which is her right to do so.

I get it OP - you just felt bad and wanted to say something and get support not have intervention - I do understand that you felt this was an intrusion by MNHQ but I can see why they would do this too.

Hopefully you'll feel OP that you can either stay here or not or return at some time in the future.

CloudPop · 12/01/2022 10:03

@missgraciea take care of yourself. Sending very best wishes to you. Please stay alive.

readingismycardio · 12/01/2022 10:03

Well done, MN. I am really impressed. Op, I hope you get all the help you need, and come back on MN happy and healthy

Badabingbadabum · 12/01/2022 10:06

OP, having been in your situation and now very much on the otherside, you will get to a point where you will be thankful that mn could do what they did.

Things do get better, you will feel better, as difficult as that is to believe right now I am sure Flowers

anon12345678901 · 12/01/2022 10:08

Well done Mumsnet. I think you did the responsible thing to alert the authorities so they could do a welfare check. Threats of suicide should always be taken seriously and Mumsnet completely acted accordingly. If the OP wants to leave that's her right, but should go knowing Mumsnet acted in her best interests.

Sirzy · 12/01/2022 10:08

It may not feel it now but down the line I hope you can appreciate just how worrying your messages must have been for them to take that action to try to help save your life. It was a good thing they did.

Focus on getting well now.

Xyzzzzz · 12/01/2022 10:08

@NewtoHolland

If you think about it for the moderator or staff bit having to sit and hold that risk and be really worried about whether someone is OK ...it isn't a fair expectation to leave someone sitting with that. If anyone discloses serious immediate risk to self or others they have to act upon that. After all disclosing these things especially using that kind of language there is an element whether conscious or not of aiming to illicit rescue...

I really hope there is lots of great support in your area, there are so many amazing services now who can be alongside you in your journey and offer kindness, DBT or distress tolerance skills can be life changing, in the meantime wishing you comfort and peace from your pain as you make a journey towards recovery.

This.

I once called the police to visit a customer who told me they were suicidal. It’s a duty of care

WheekestLink · 12/01/2022 10:11

You stated on here that you were going to take your own life. It was very responsible for MN to send the police to your house.

Phyllis321 · 12/01/2022 10:13

I'm really glad you're feeling better, OP. Flowers

I'm also glad MN instigated a welfare check. I know someone whose life was saved - just- by one. She is much, much better now.

Loveisthere · 12/01/2022 10:13

Well done mumsnet I think you did exactly the right thing. Hopefully your GP will give you all the help you needFlowers

Georgeskitchen · 12/01/2022 10:16

I was desperately worried last night and frantically searched back for the post but couldn't find it. I think mumsnet did exactly the right thing by sending the police round. I don't think any decent person could just sit back and let it all unfold without taking any action. I sincerely hope you get the correct help, for yourself and for your baby, who desperately needs mummy.
Please stay on mumsnet so we can support you and know your OK x

5thHelena · 12/01/2022 10:18

Mumsnet did absolutely the right thing. I remember the post and feel they had absolutely no alternative based on your comments at the time.

JoanOgden · 12/01/2022 10:21

OP - as you are (I think?) a teacher, I'm sure you can understand that MN had a duty of care here.

All best wishes for the future - I hope life gets easier for you.

KO81 · 12/01/2022 10:31

I'm shocked they sent the police round, and feel that invades peoples privacy and makes me look at the forum differently but I guess they have a duty

I think it’s impressive. Posting a thread is arguably calling for help and so they acted, as was their moral duty. It may also go some way to show some posters that they are not anonymous when they post online. It wouldn’t hurt for some of them to remember that…