Even writing this feels and sounds very navel gazing as objectively I am lucky in the life stakes.
More and more, I’ve been feeling that life isn’t meant for me though. Covid did a number on me and I lived through the pandemic in a very difficult household situation with no one I could trust to confide in or spend time with. Currently I am very emotionally raw and bruised and being given the silent treatment by those I love with (not romantic partner).
Previously I enjoyed a good social life but have steadily isolated myself from that too. My friends are in touch a lot (and I forced myself out this weekend but am finding large groups realy difficult to navigate and feel so self conscious). I miss sitting in the same room as another human being, doing nothing together. Just being. I can’t remember when I last did that. I miss touch and companionship.
My self esteem is completely shot and my confidence is at an all time low. I’m about to turn 25 (which feels weirdly significant) and in so much emotional pain, coupled with that I was publically humiliated at a work event recently.
I feel incredibly low and hopeless