Do you think some people just aren’t meant for life?

[Isogals]

Even writing this feels and sounds very navel gazing as objectively I am lucky in the life stakes.

More and more, I’ve been feeling that life isn’t meant for me though. Covid did a number on me and I lived through the pandemic in a very difficult household situation with no one I could trust to confide in or spend time with. Currently I am very emotionally raw and bruised and being given the silent treatment by those I love with (not romantic partner).

Previously I enjoyed a good social life but have steadily isolated myself from that too. My friends are in touch a lot (and I forced myself out this weekend but am finding large groups realy difficult to navigate and feel so self conscious). I miss sitting in the same room as another human being, doing nothing together. Just being. I can’t remember when I last did that. I miss touch and companionship.

My self esteem is completely shot and my confidence is at an all time low. I’m about to turn 25 (which feels weirdly significant) and in so much emotional pain, coupled with that I was publically humiliated at a work event recently.

I feel incredibly low and hopeless

So many typos... should say those I live with not I love with!

Yes, you will have these feelings throughout your life, interspersed with feelings of how absolutely amazing it is to be alive.

I’m sorry you feel down right now but look out, look up, be curious, be engaged and engaging and it will pass.

So sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. Could you arrange a call with your GP to see if they can recommend something to lift your mood before trying to work through the areas of your life that are upsetting you?
It sounds as if you have some good friends, could you confide in one and perhaps ask one to spend some quiet time together - watching a movie or reading?
Covid has been a dreadful experience for all -you are definitely not alone.
Do you know where to find numbers for counselling- there are many free support numbers, it might help to talk to a sympathetic, impartial ear?
Really hope things improve very quickly for you. xx

I think some people definitely find life easier than others, but I don't think life is just not meant to be for some.
It's so hard at the moment - I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Do you think you also suffer a little with social anxiety? I always have (I'm now 42) you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone to a degree, and try to stop caring so much about what people think.
TBH, you sound like a thoughtful and sensitive person - qualities which can make life more difficult as you 'feel' more. That's no bad thing! Head up, shoulders back, push on through.
'This too shall pass' is my mantra when things are feeling like they are getting on top of me.
Don't waste your time with people who maybe don't care about you. This is a lesson best learned pronto!
Sending a virtual hug 🤗
You sound lovely, be nice to yourself X

I'm so sorry you've having such a shitty time. I've felt the same but thankfully I've got through it believing it will get better. And it did. Can you look back and remember when you felt better? I bet you can. It will get better. I feel desperately sorry for you - it must have been so tough. You will feel better about things I promise. Keep posting keep talking. Talk to your friends, be honest about how you feel.

Can you get in touch with a friend and ask that you spend the evening together, just watching telly?

The first time I experienced a really horrible emotional low like you describe (I was younger than you, and am now a fair bit older) I struggled to believe things could get better again. But they did. And knowing that they did has made subsequent lows less frightening and easier to manage. You won't feel like this forever.

In the meantime, reaching out to friends and/or GP seems like good advice.

This is depression talking. We need a little bit of stress to feel a sense of purpose but not so much or so little stimulation- that becomes painful, and the key is recognising where you are on the scale and catching yourself / bringing yourself back up before it spirals.

I've been spending a lot of time solo in cafes and pubs, it really helps during these strange times to be around people. Even just being served makes me feel like I exist!

Can you move? It’s really really horrible when there is a difficult atmosphere with people you’re living with, I’ve experienced this at Uni and was much better once I got out of the situation and living with people who weren’t giving me the silent treatment! That’s difficult at any time let alone during a pandemic where it’s harder to get out and about with others as much. It’s a form of bullying really. It’s not you, it’s them! I’d never do that to anyone.

And of course life is meant for you! I think speaking to your GP is a good idea but from what you’ve said number 1 is to address your living situation which is making you miserable. Can you see if any of your friends have room free for you to move in? I really think you’d feel a lot better if you were living with someone who cared about you and was kind to you, and it sounds like you have lots of friends, they are just not your flat mates right now. It will be ok.

I feel like I'm defective, a poor example of a human being, an animal - all those millions of years of evolution behind me and this is what I am? Severely depressed and struggling with the basics every day. I'm not fit for purpose.

Feelings come and go you will not always feel this way. There's two things you can do. First work on how you feel - see a professional, take up mindfulness, meditation, yoga, talk to family/friends , reiki, hypnotherapy whatever helps. Second think about what would make life more fulfilling and work towards it - do small and long goals. And try to live in present, when I was struggling with mh there was a point where I took things one hour at a time. I literally thought no further than that. Gradually I in creased it to a day, a week etc,

Hello @Isogals. We are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.

You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: Coping with mental health problems during coronavirus

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

With very best wishes from MNHQ.