Parents and carers of anxious kids/teens(part5)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Hi guys
Just spotted we have filled another thread!
I started part 1 during the journey with my sons escalating anxiety
This thread is a non judgemental place to support each other
As parents and carers we recognise how hard,stressful,and often lonely,this unseen battle can be.others dismissing small wins as the norm for most etc
Please feel free to offload here,share your small wins,take the support and comfort this thread brings

Please please someone talk me down. I can't eat, and that terrifies me because how can I ask her to eat when it is so much harder for her if I can't even manage it? I'm terrified that this mountain is just too big to climb and she will never get better.

cheese so sorry things are so tough. Have you tried your crisis team at CAMHs to see if they can offer advice?

And remember to look after yourself, it’s hard. Maybe talk to your GP about something to help you too?

Thank you for replying sirzy I haven't no we aren't under cahms, the GP gave us a referral and we went private for the psychologist. But what could they even do? She isn't actively suicidal. But thank you for responding.

Cheese - I had a child go through this at a similar age. He was severely unwell, just as you describe. in the short term, what worked was making the things he wanted (in his case screentime) contingent on eating and drinking. A psychiatrist advised this and it worked instantly. Longer term medication (setraline) and cbt worked. He is now 15, off meds and no longer has the phobia. Hang in there

@connectfortyfour, thank you very much for your reply. I'm so sorry you've walked this path. I'm glad your DS has recovered, it is helpful to know recovery is possible.

Can I ask what pathway you went on to get him help?

We accessed help via camhs but it was quite tough getting seen and this was pre pandemic. I also tried gp, 111, a&e and the private route. To be honest there was nothing I didn't try, but it was treatment via camhs that got us there in the end! Good luck

@cheeseismydownfall I’ve experienced a very similar situation with my daughter all stemming from a peanut allergy. We had to go down the private route. You can search under my username for all my posts. Feel free to DM me also. It’s a horrible situation and I ended up like you, unable to eat and had to speak to my GP. Things will get better, hold on to that

cheese you need to be looking after you in order to be strong enough to support her
Has she got safe foods or behaviours that allow something to be eaten?throw nutritious offerings out the window-longterm-not good but short term anythings better than nothing approach won't hurt
We are here to listen and support you lovely

cheeseismydownfall If DD has barely eaten for 3 weeks you should take her to A&E, she is at risk of refeeding syndrome if she starts to eat normally now. As well as emetophobia there may be an element of GAD and depression too. Another one saying get a CAMHS referral, therapy can help, and medication may also be needed. Will DD take supplements?

If when schools return DD cannot attend school the LA have a statutory duty to provide alternative education.

Cheese - take to a&e and ask them to follow the marsipan guidelines. Explain the emetephobia and if you have tracked weight at all that would be helpful.
If you have been tracking food then take the notes with you.

They should do some baseline bloods, height, weight and check for hydration.

You should also call your local camhs crisis line and ask for advice. Ideally ask for a consult with a psychiatrist, and dietician for starters.

Tonight Ds has said he doesn’t like going out as he doesn’t trust people.

Couldn’t get any more from him on tne topic but it’s a breakthrough.

Now to figure how to use the information

So sorry to see how tough everything is for pp on this thread.

Cheese, I think DD needs to see a psychiatrist, preferably through camhs but if that's hard to access might be worth finding a private child adolescent psychiatrist. She may need meds to help take the edge off it and only a child psychiatrist can prescribe if necessary. Going to AandE although horrible may help a CAMHS referral.
Also do look after yourself and go to your GP if you are struggling, things will get better, I had very dark days when my eldest DD was seriously ill with anorexia but now she's at uni and doing well and is healthy and happy, was a long hard road but we got there did you will too,hang in there.

Sirzy, it's good DS could open up to you, has anything happened to trigger this loss of trust? Was he able to explain why he feels this way? I hope you are able to access support for him.

So many DC desperately need help and its almost impossible to get it,makes me so angry.

DD made the OT appointment, big achievement for her and huge relief for me!
Thanks leap re LGO tip, I read about that somewhere else too and thought it might be worth pursuing, only done stage 1 complaint at LA atm but if they don't respond to tribunal tomorrow will do stage 2 complaint.
TBH I was thinking of complaining to CAMHS but couldn't find out how! So difficult to contact them. After paying for a private psychiatrist and prescriptions for over a year despite DD being under CAMHS they have finally agreed DD can see the CAMHS psychiatrist...in about 3 months time..

sirzy hopefully now he's started to talk he will be more forthcoming
Runner well done DD making the OT app

No explanation yet from him and I can’t think of any reason, possibly linked to when he was in and out of hospital as a very young child but can’t figure anything specific. At least it’s something to work with.

Glad she made the appointment runner

Thanks zoo and sirzy, do us parents of anxious DC ever sleep??? Just seen the times of posts on here, so hard, take care everyone.

Sleeps for wimps!
Ds was up at 2.50 this morning. Then my mum (who lives with us) fell down the stairs and knocked herself out about 5.30 so it’s been all go here this morning. Ds was a star but is now hiding away in his room

Peaceful night then sirzy😆
Seriously hope your mum's OK and you get some rest today and an undisturbed night's sleep tonight.
No one can run on empty forever and even though we all still do get by somehow I do wonder about the long term impact on our health.
I certainly feel the toll on my physical and mental Health. I have this week off work and so need it as I feel I'm on the edge of falling apart trying to juggle everything, still have a lot of Xmas prep to do and would like to get on top of housework. DD has an pyschiatrist appointment on Xmas eve FGS! squeezed in as an emergency to look at meds so can't turn it down but really Xmas eve afternoon 😒 ,oh well needs must .
Anyway at least I won't also be juggling work this week so that's a big relief.

Home mums ok sirzy

I sleep dreadfully.i survive by a 20 minute timed power nap either in the morning or before 2pm

Sirzy I hope your DM is OK. DS1 struggles with the unpredictability of people and when people don’t do what they say they are going to do. Could DS mean it is hard to trust others when he doesn’t know what they are going to do or they don’t do what he expects?

Runner DS1 has a sleep study overnight on 23rd, who thought it was a good idea to organise a sleep study for a child with additional needs that close to Christmas I will never know.

I hope the OT report helps, and your week off allows you time to catch your breath. The LGO can’t deal with SENDIST matters, but it is well worth pursuing after the Tribunal. To complain about CAMHS get in contact with PALS and write to the head of service, then you can escalate it to the CEO and the LA’s Director of Children’s Services if necessary. Ultimately you can complain to the PHSO, although I have recently heard negative experiences of this route.

leap assume they like being busy then,as I'd be most suprised of a calming experience so close to christmas.ds is same if people don't do as he expects they are not to be trusted

My girls are supposed to be in school today,they both refused to go given covid surges and lil zoo having to self isolate late Xmas after positive case day after school stopped for holidays,meaning 19-29th were in her room and we did Xmas on 30th(did teams with dd2 and opened her gifts on the day from different rooms/devices at our house but it's not the same and was an experience no one wants to repeat.ever

Oooops posted too soon
I emailed school explaining situation,and that they won't be in for today and tomorrow but will check in for online tasks set.there was a surge of kids off suddenly needing to test on the 14th which staff knew was they went into isolation to give families christmas,and can hardly say anything about it really

Zoo people only get one chance with DS1 too. If he takes a dislike to you or holds a grudge that’s it.

I am not sure how much sleep DS1 is going to get, so who knows whether there will be enough data. I thought about rearranging but it’s a cancellation because the previous 2 sleep studies DS1 has had have been borderline.

Hi all just popping on to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and I hope you all (dc included) find a little calm and peace over the festive period.

I'm still following the thread, ds is doing well with his anxiety and at school, hoping to move forward a bit in the new year and start getting him in a bit earlier building up to taking himself back in every day. He's happier and less angry at home too.

I hope you all can have some time for yourselves over the next few days. Although I don't feel I have much to post here I do still follow and remain grateful for the support particularly on those bad days

Merry Christmas everyone. Even though, like us, you will more than likely have had a rough week or two on the run up to it……I hope all of our little and not so little ones can find some sleep if not peace over the next week or so. Take care. Thinking of you all x