Stressed out about my dad

[WigWamBam]

I'm sorry to be here feeling sorry for myself again, but my dad has just been diagnosed with cancer, and I feel as if the world has stopped turning. My depression has been much better with the ads, but today I've just felt so bleak and stressed out, and I had a panic attack on the way back from taking my dd to nursery, which has really shaken me up. I've never had one before and I was so scared.

I've always tended to take other people's problems on myself, and I think this is what I'm doing, but I'm so scared of what's going to happen that I can't think straight. I don't even know what I'm frightened of, it's not me with the illness and apparently the prognosis is reasonably good, but it's hit me really hard.

Im so sorry to hear this mate. Not sure what i can say to cheer you up but sending you loads of hugs and snuggles and hope you ok.

WWB, it's going to come as a shock to you, and you are bound to be feeling frightened and upset by it. I havent got anything useful to say but just want to send you hugs. xxxx

Thinking of you & family xxx

Thank you x

It is a huge shock when you receive this sort of news. Felt sick for days when MIL was finally diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Do contact Cancer bacup (www.cancerbacup.org.uk) as they are hugely supportive and have masses of info which they will send out.

Thinking of you.

yoyo, thank you, I haven't come across them before but I'll check them out. Thank you.

sorry to hear that your dad is unwell at the moment. it's obviously been a nasty shock for you and your family - so I guess you just need to treat yourself gently at the moment whilst you take it all in. like tb says, I think feeling awful at this sort of news is a pretty typical reaction for anyone.

take care
x

I just want to thank you all for your messages of support.

Winnie, you were right on the other thread when you said that it's all been very fast; my dad found his lump only three weeks ago, but men being men decided not to tell anyone except my mum until he'd seen the doctor, as he didn't want to worry anyone unnecessarily. He was due to have knee surgery next week, and had hoped to have the two done together, and thereby not tell anyone at all. I know this was to stop us all from worrying, but I've found it hard to accept that he wouldn't have told us about something so serious, and this has only added to the whirlwind of emotions.

The fact that he doesn't seem to have been given any information about his cancer is worrying too, although having seen these messages and looked on the Cancer Research site I'm reassured that it's one of the easier forms of cancer to treat and that the prognosis is good. I think maybe if we had been given some firm information about what it was, the prognosis and the treatment that my dad could expect, I wouldn't be feeling quite so helpless.

WWB, nothing to add, but what a shock for you and for your family. Very tough that it happened so fast but i hope this means your dad is getting the treatment he needs speedily.

Really really sorry to hear about your dad Wigwam. I think it's completely normal to be hit for 6 by such news. In my experience it can be helpful to gather together as much information as you can - from talking to your family and medical staff. This calmed me down a bit and made me feel like I was doing something. I understood more when people tried to explain things to me too. All the best

He is your dad, any illness he gets is going to affect you and frighten you. The shock of the diagnosis is probably the worst part of it and, when you have had time to get used to the idea, you will hopefully feel stronger to deal with it. I really hope everything turns out well for you and your dad. Take care of him and yourself.

WWB - you/your family might also find it useful to look at the Lance Armstrong Foundation website;

www.laf.org/Education/

Lance Armstrong has also written a very good autobiographical book - "It's not just about the bike" which partly deals with his recovery from testicular cancer. (He has won the Tour de France more than once after treatment for testicular cancer.). He did have a poor prognosis and very aggressive surgical and chemotherapy treatment though so you might not think it appropriate on that grounds for you to be reading atm.

best wishes to you and your family
x

MTS, thank you - what a wonderfully positive and inspirational site. My dad is a bit of a technophobe but once he is recovering from his surgery and we know what further treatment he can expect, I am going to sit him down in front of this one.

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Thanks secur, just popped in for a few minutes now. I'm OK, still stressing a bit and worried to death but otherwise OK.

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Sorry to hear about your Dad WWB. It is bound to hit u hard.
Don't know what else 2 say, except take care & I hope all turns out well.

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Hi secur, thanks for asking and thank you to everyone else for your thoughts. We haven't got a lot more information yet, my dad had his surgery yesterday and is back at home now, sore and spaced out. They think that the cancer was contained and hadn't got to the lymph glands which is a good thing, but we won't really know anything else for a couple of weeks. When we get the results of the biopsy, we'll know what the next stage is and more about the prognosis.

So basically it's just more waiting ...

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Thank you, I can't tell you how much it's appreciated. xx

Chin up,
keep positive, how did the op go?, okay i hope. Thinking of you x