I just need to talk

[Strugglingalone]

I’m not coping, I can’t speak on the phone, I have no friends, I just need to talk to someone

Hi OP

Just checking in as been thinking about you

Hey op. I hope you're alright

Ok is probably not the best description, still here is probably more apt

Thanks all for checking in

We're here if you need us x

Do try a webchat like CALM or My Black Dog. They've often helped me.

Just as giraffe says. We're here if you need us

Sorry I wrote ok then realised that may have sounded flippant. Wasn't meant to.

Thanks, I have an interview tomorrow so trying to focus on that tonight and just get through that appearing ok, then I will allow myself to fall apart again

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno don’t worry, you didn’t sound flippant all 🥰

I hope you really, really know this, OP.
It's not your fault you've been discharged.
You deserve love and care.
Until you find it in the community, please scrape up whatever care for yourself that you can.

Those of us who've been left to it, unsupported, and alone, are bloody tough, and I salute all of us!! Enormous love from here x

Hi op I hope the interview went well

Had bad news today regarding my health, I am really struggling and nobody really understands what it means so can’t share with anyone 😢

You can share here. It is anonymous.
Plenty of people want to help.

I have a invisible disability and one of the many complications is deterioration of your eyes. I’ve been living with background eye changes for the last 8ish years and now been told that it’s gone to the next stage and need to have a scan to identify treatment.

It’s just sent my anxiety through the roof and the thoughts are so strong again, why would I bother trying to fight them when my body is falling apart

When is the scan?

Next week.

I was already massively on self destruct, refusing to take any medication for the last 2 days so this has fuelled those thoughts further 😢

Just feel completely lost and overwhelmed

Oh op that is so hard. No wonder you're struggling. I fully understand how you feel, I have medical/dental phobia so this sort of thing is overwhelming.

Can you try to take it day by day? Or hour by hour? That's how I manage to get through difficult times.

From what you've written they need to do a scan to decide on treatment which suggests (to me) that there may be something they can do to help you? I hope that is the case.

Don't panic yet. Things might not be as bad as you fear and there may be new things the doctors can do.

I’m not sure, the letter has come completely out of the blue today

I was already on self destruct, now it’s taken on a whole new energy. I’m really done with my body giving up (I was also referred to a consultant about another health issue only last week)

I am only 30, completely overwhelmed and just have no fight left

@Strugglingalone do you have any family?

Yes but I can’t tell them, they won’t understand and will criticise, they will blame me for the complications

They love you. You might not be able to talk to them about what's going on with you. But know that they love you.

Hmm

Really struggling this evening, the thoughts to self destruct are so strong

Try be strong. For one person you love. You have health issues and that's hard but you CAN and WILL get through this. You've done it before and you will do it again.

Do you have any pets?

Having a scan to determine the next course of treatment means there is treatment and management of your condition x

How are you this morning @Strugglingalone?

You clearly have been having thoughts of harming yourself since the start of this thread. Please call someone today until you get help.