Is there anywhere I can go for help?

[Nameless5]

We have a social worker to make sure ds is okay because of my mental health etc. I’m struggling, really struggling. I’ve messaged the social worker and haven’t got a reply and it’s been a week. I’ve rang them and they said they’d get in touch with social worker and ask social worker to contact me. GP is not an option because they do not help.

Is there anywhere else I can go for help? I’m drowning and I don’t want to leave ds without a mother. Everyone says to tell people when you’re struggling and I’m screaming out but no one answers.

I’m just hoping there’s somewhere else or someone else I haven’t thought of.

Hello, have you tried any helplines- the samaritans for example?

You need immediate practical support. Do you have friends or family nearby? Can you contact the council directly?

116123
The Samaritans will help.
Sorry you're feeling rough

Oh I’m so sorry for you - can school help to make a referral etc on your DS’s behalf or call SS too?

How old is your child? If they are under four you could contact SureStart.

I’m a stranger but I’m really proud of you for reaching out and fighting for you and your son like this. I hope you are too x
Are you under the care of any mental health teams you could call?
Is there something particular making today hard?

I'd call your GP and ask for the Crisis Team. If things get really bad, go to A&E. Keep going, you can get through this.

Mindline also have a twenty four hour emotional support service.
You can ring every day and talk to someone for 30 minutes.
Useful perhpaps if you can't sleep.

Thank you for the replies. I tried to contact the social workers three times yesterday and was told different information each time. I was left with being told eventually someone would call me back but they can’t say when. I was crying on the phone so it was clear how worried I was about how we are not coping. No one called today though.

I had to keep ds off school today because I couldn’t get him in. It’s hard to push myself when even the social workers aren’t interested in our safety etc. I have considered speaking with the family support worker at school who is aware of our situation and social care involvement etc and asking for help but I don’t see what they can do when our own social worker is ignoring us. Ds is 9 so no sure start.

I’ve not rang any helplines this time because it’s not talking through things that we need now, it’s proper real help. It’s been building for a while but it’s reaching a point where we really need help but there’s no one to ask because the people we do ask ignore us.

I did ask the person at the social care number if they had any one to speak to in an emergency because we really need help and they told me no and that if me and ds were in danger we should call the appropriate authorities. I’d assumed they would be the people to call when a child is at risk but ho hum.

I’m half sad and half cross. If I wound up dead and ds was alone, they’d all talk about how I should have reached out etc. It’s all so stupid.

Can you ring the school nurse and tell them that you’re not getting the help you need ?

How are you doing today OP? Has the social worker been in contact with you?

What support is it you need? Is it help with your mental health or something practical / finances etc?

Really hope you're having a better day today.

OP, so sorry you are going through this.

If they haven’t given you a crisis number, and you feel in immediate danger, then I would suggest dialling 999. Your safety is paramount, for your son.

They’ve still not contacted us. Ds is off school again today. We are living in filth. Literal piles of rubbish around the flat that we dodge as we move from bed to the tv and back to bed at the end of the day. The only food I can make for him is sandwiches. I can’t open our windows or curtains so we are in the dark. I’ve barely slept because I’m scared someone will get in through our rubbish door and hurt us because the neighbours won’t shut the communal door after them and the previous tenants damaged the door frame. All because I can’t override the intrusive thoughts caused by my mental health. I normally can function but so much energy is sucked from worrying about the problems with the flat and the subsequent lack of sleep that I can’t keep up with everything.

From experience, there’s no help for the mental health condition except waiting lists. I accept all the medication they throw at me but it doesn’t do much.

Before I got ill, I genuinely believed all the stuff people say about telling your doctor, ring social services they’ll help, etc. But we are just left to it.

I just don’t understand which “appropriate authority” they mean when they tell me to contact them. Like “hi police? I’m trapped by my flat making me crazy and I can’t clean or feed my kid properly!”.

I feel like I’m on a hidden camera show 😂😅

Please speak to your DS’s school.

The family support worker will try and help, and might be able to kick a few people to help along the way.

I’m so sorry you’re being ignored when you asked. It’s shit.

I don’t know if this service is available in your area but google family solutions.

I tried to find a crisis team number for you but you're right, they don't seem to be advertised just referred. I found this link though:

www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline

Perhaps they can help. Please try today. Good luck xx

Do you not have any family support at all?

Do you have a Home Start in your area?

Try Mothers for Mothers. mothersformothers.co.uk/

Keep ringing the social services.

Keep going. It's a long road with no turning.

First, well done on taking the step to reach out - and sorry that you are being let down.

Where abouts in the UK are you? This might help us narrow down some options for you (just a rough idea, not precise).

Second, call 999 and tell the operator you need help for an urgent mental health crisis, that you have a young child and that SS have not gotten back to you in a week, tell them you need support now. Then tell SS you have called the emergency services. Call your GP and tell them too.

Third, remember what a big step you have taken to get to this forum and post. You are loved and you are not alone, however much it may feel like it.

Stay in touch

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

If you’d be willing to give us an idea pf what county you’re in OP, perhaps someone on here would be able to signpost you to local help- totally understand if you don’t want to though. I think talking to the Family Support Worker at school would be a really good thing to do, as well.

@KimMumsnet

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way. We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well. We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare. We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

I know this is the copy and paste post you have to put on threads like this but ffs read the room.

“It’s really a good idea to seek RL support”.

My whole post is about my desperately trying to do that and being ignored and asking if anyone knows of anywhere else to contact.

And why is it being moved to mental health? I’m asking if anyone knows any practical support for a person whose social worker isn’t returning calls. I’m not asking for help with mental health. I’m asking if anyone knows anywhere practical to call to keep a child safe.

Does the school have a community outreach worker or pupil inclusion officer, if not try the Safeguarding lead since you feel your dc welfare is at risk.

We have a council based family support worker who is amazing. Do you have anything like that?

Have you tried Mother to Mother? They are set up to help with exactly this sort of thing.