How do you switch off from overthinking at bedtime?

[Mrsbrownsbuoys]

I can't switch off at bedtime, my mind races, going over all the things that I've done wrong over the years, what a disaster my life has been, what a failure I am. I need something to distract me until I fall asleep.

I can't listen to music or podcasts out loud because it keeps my partner awake. I've bought wireless earpods, but if I fall asleep with them in, I wake up because my ears start to hurt.

Meditation makes me anxious, I feel like I can't breathe. Counting doesn't help. And I'm rubbish at visualising things, so struggle with the "imagine you're on a beach" type of thing.

I've tried over the counter sleeping tablets but they gave me restless legs, so bad I was crying with frustration.

I take magnesium, but it makes no difference. It might be the wrong sort, but I don't want to take the sort that upsets your stomach, because I have health anxiety, especially around stomach problems.

What helps you fall asleep?

Hi OP, I have the same issue at bedtime. I feel very unsettled and I don’t know why.

Anyway the things that help me (which I am guilty of not always doing!)

• listening to the Anxiety Guy. He has so many videos that you can chose one relevant to you. I like the health anxiety positive affirmation one. I usually fall asleep before it finishes.

• good sleep hygiene. Not looking at phone etc. I find this harder to stick to when I’m very unsettled because it’s like crutch and a distraction. But I admit it does work. Even better if your mobile can be off or in another room.

• following a routine - finding something that relaxes you. For me that is a bath, sleepy tea and magnesium glycinate an hour before bed. This doesn’t upset my tummy.

• progressive muscle relaxation works really well for me. Lots on YouTube to try out until you find one you like.

• I have soft exercise headphones from Amazon - think they were about £15. They ate just a stretchy band. You can get ones with Velcro too. My wee girl has pink unicorn ones that I sometimes use! They are really soft and comfy and the Velcro means you can adjust the band. Also on Amazon.

Oh sorry meant to also say - I have a Kindle Paperwhite which has a light. It doesn’t disturb my husband. I find it very relaxing to read it - and you can get audio books too I think, but I love to read

I know some people are saying you are worrying about your DH too much, but there is no point in you both being disturbed. My DH sleeps so well and I try not to disturb him too.

@MissMatty2hats I’m so glad to have found another fan! Which is your favourite?

I also have the odd night in our spare room where I can read as long as I want. I find this really relaxing and gives us both a break. My DH is a very early riser, a light sleeper and likes to have the radio on at night. I quite like the radio but he likes radio 5 and I like radio 4.

I am sure you wouldn't but if you are trying the phone under your pillow at night, make sure it isn't on charge when you do it.

Head band earphones and listen to Jason Stephenson's guided sleep meditations on YouTube.

I tell stories in my head. Like writing a book. I have about 5 different stories. I start at different points in the stories as I fancy. They don't have to hang together that well. Lol. They put me out for the count pretty quickly, and if they don't, I've progressed the story on and I've not spent time thinking bad thoughts. 🥱 😴

@myadhdusername I’m glad I’m not alone! I love any one where she’s buying something lovely or making something. Back to the bakery is my favourite. Not so keen on the animal ones for some reason. I just can’t sleep without her now!

[quote MissMatty2hats]@myadhdusername I’m glad I’m not alone! I love any one where she’s buying something lovely or making something. Back to the bakery is my favourite. Not so keen on the animal ones for some reason. I just can’t sleep without her now![/quote]
Do you have to pay for this?

The bakery one is definitely my favourite and I love the bookshop and hardware store one too. I was thinking today how nice a camping story would be.

@Rainydaypuddles no, free! I listen to them on Spotify and really just can’t recommend enough. They’re just lovely lovely stories.

@myadhdusername

The bakery one is definitely my favourite and I love the bookshop and hardware store one too. I was thinking today how nice a camping story would be.

@Rainydaypuddles no, free! I listen to them on Spotify and really just can’t recommend enough. They’re just lovely lovely stories.

Fab thanks!! Will take a look this weekend

@Rainydaypuddles

Hi OP, I have the same issue at bedtime. I feel very unsettled and I don’t know why.

Anyway the things that help me (which I am guilty of not always doing!)

• listening to the Anxiety Guy. He has so many videos that you can chose one relevant to you. I like the health anxiety positive affirmation one. I usually fall asleep before it finishes.

• good sleep hygiene. Not looking at phone etc. I find this harder to stick to when I’m very unsettled because it’s like crutch and a distraction. But I admit it does work. Even better if your mobile can be off or in another room.

• following a routine - finding something that relaxes you. For me that is a bath, sleepy tea and magnesium glycinate an hour before bed. This doesn’t upset my tummy.

• progressive muscle relaxation works really well for me. Lots on YouTube to try out until you find one you like.

• I have soft exercise headphones from Amazon - think they were about £15. They ate just a stretchy band. You can get ones with Velcro too. My wee girl has pink unicorn ones that I sometimes use! They are really soft and comfy and the Velcro means you can adjust the band. Also on Amazon.

Thanks. Do you have a link to the headphones? There are so many on there.

I've found the Nothing Much Happens podcast, I'll try that, thanks.

Great to see all the suggestions. If I haven't replied to you, I have read them all and will try them all. Hopefully this thread will help others too. Sorry to hear there are so many of us struggling with this.

No links as on the app and couldn’t work out how to do it! But here are pics of the ones we use. The kids ones are comfier 😂 but both work in the same way and I use both.

I’m going to get one of those @Rainydaypuddles I currently use Beats headphones and they’re just so uncomfortable.

Maladaptive daydreams, I slip in and out of them as a way to cope and get away from the intrusive thoughts.
I do take magnesium too and I think it helps but not completely.

@Rainydaypuddles

No links as on the app and couldn’t work out how to do it! But here are pics of the ones we use. The kids ones are comfier 😂 but both work in the same way and I use both.

Thank you! I'll look for them now.

I type incredibly boring business letters in my head, making myself think about where every key is and imagining pressing the keys properly. I was never very good at typing and I have to concentrate so I find it drives out intrusive thoughts. No exciting subjects, just a string of random dull sentences.
Works for me.

@3beesinmybonnet

I type incredibly boring business letters in my head, making myself think about where every key is and imagining pressing the keys properly. I was never very good at typing and I have to concentrate so I find it drives out intrusive thoughts. No exciting subjects, just a string of random dull sentences. Works for me.

Oh I couldn't do that. I do this weird thing where I type out everything I hear in my head all the time, so trying to turn that off is very difficult!

If the light from devices is a problem for him can he wear a sleep mask?

I know strictly speaking this is "your" problem but surely he cares enough to compromise a little?

Could he wear ear plugs?

He won't? Not even sometimes? Why?

@mynameiscalypso great minds!

I have dreadful insomnia but live alone. I always need something streaming on a low volume to fall asleep to and I also play daft easy games on phone (yea yea I know that being on phone meant to make insomnia worse it honestly hasn't for me I was far worse before smart phones!)

I run a business and used to often find that I was turning problems over in my head and unable to sleep.

Nowadays I never look at my email late at night. There is nothing I can do about problems at that time so best to leave them til next day. In the same way I never answer the phone after 9pm unless its someone on my "white" list. I dont even have a phone in the bedroom.

I find that a good hot shower helps me to relax and then I lie counting my own breathing. Mostly I drop straight off if I have done all the "routine" things.

If the Calm app is too American for you, you might try Andrew Johnson (nice relaxing Scottish voice). It's sort of guided meditation/hypnosis and has really helped me for various things including sleep

I listened to Nothing Much Happens during the night when I woke and it was fab!

The women speaking has a lovely relaxing voice. I didn’t fall asleep straight away but was relaxing rather than over thinking.

I think if I used it to fall asleep initially it would have worked quicker.

If I’m overthinking about what I need to do the next day, it helps me to write them down so I can get them out of my head.
I know you said mediation didn’t work for you, but what about yoga? Even 10 minutes before bedtime can help.

Sorry I haven't been back for a bit, the last few days were insanely busy.

I've bought an earphone headband and used it last night. It feels a little tight but it's not as uncomfortable as earphones. I'm still listening to Harry Potter as I know it so well, it doesn't matter if I fall asleep and don't know what was the last thing I heard.

I do try to write things down before I go to sleep but these are just recurring bad thoughts I can't solve. I've talked through them in counselling, most of the time I'm fine with it now, it's just night times they come back to haunt me. I also suffer with chronic pain so struggle to get off to sleep anyway.

I've got the Nothing much happens podcast saved on my phone for when I'm fed up of Harry Potter!

Thanks for all the suggestions. I've read them all and will keep coming back to remind myself.