Living with Bipolar? Come join to chat ups, downs, and everything in between

[UppityDownitty]

Hi. I rarely see any threads on the MH board here from those of use with Bipolar diagnoses. I find it tends to be largely threads on anxiety, situational depression & stress, which I have also had battles with, but which don’t really cover the particular challenges and experiences unique to bipolar disorder.

I wondered if any fellow bipolar-bears would like to share a space here with me to chat about stuff, share wisdom & support, or to just waffle on generally (like I’m apt to do sometimes!).

Maybe if anyone’s interested in joining the thread we could introduce ourselves a bit? I’m happy to start the ball rolling…

I’m a single mum of 2 youngish ones. Lots of recent traumas/major life stresses over past 3yrs. Ended up having manic eps and my previous diagnosis (for 20yrs) was changed to bipolar affective disorder (type 1). Ive resisted any mood stabilisers until now (only lamotrigine, which hasn’t been effective) and was relying on PRN diaz to try to ward off hypomanic eps. However, mood has been all over place lately & seems to be ultra-rapid-cycling now so this week I’ve accepted I need lithium. Just been for blood tests & hoping to start shortly. Nervous about it though, and still question whether I do really have a mood disorder or whether I’m just a bit (lot?) traumatised by an awful few years/set of circumstances.

Anyone else want to join me?

I've arrived. Inflated sense of importance anyone? wry smile

Well, I'm just kidding and perfectly stable at the moment, but as a nod to mania, I think retaining a sense of dark humour helps me to process the sheer catastrophophy life has become.

I noticed a lack of Bipolar support here. Depression and anxiety is one thing and not to diminish the real impact it has, but I do think Bipolar is a whole different level.

My singular manic episode destroyed my life. Lost my home, disowned by family, ended a marriage and my older kids now live with their father. The hyposexuality was the atomic bomb.

I've had years of therapy, made a little progress with the guilty, shame and stigma and built a great career (no regulation so can easily work 70 hours a week) but it still hurts like a mofo.

Life is now only a BEFORE or an AFTER .... but the best thing to come out my episode was being diagnosed. At least I know I was 'mad' and not 'bad' afterall.

Hope everyone else living with Bipolar is managing as best as you're able to. Those supporting others with Bipolar? I admire and respect you - you are sent from the heavens!

@tokillacockingbird so sorry that happened 😓. There's a woeful lack of understanding and I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to experience a mania out of the blue like that.

My own psychotic episodes probably give me more insight but my exh and I split because of my MH - he just didn't get it at all. I became hypersexual after we separated and before I met DP and ironically DP gets very weird about me having done that despite his own behaviours.

The CPN said things tend to calm down with age, not sure if that's true but I do hope one day we can at least have more level mood for longer periods so we can actually enjoy life!

Welcome @tokillacockingbird I agree. There is a lacking of bipolar support currently. But hopefully we can create one here

There is a thread I made, I think, in 2019, about my bipolar diagnosis journey and I'm happy for you all to read. I tried to make a bipolar thread like this one afterwards, but it kind of fizzled out

@DonnieDark Glad he has the support there. I never knew that about depakote! That's interesting

Just curious, how does cocaine affect your DP? Apologies if I'm overstepping, it's just because I've had it a few times over the years, and it didn't have any affect on me really. If anything, I could have gone for nap haha

@BippityBoppity87 it just makes him stay awake for days really. He also smokes weed and that makes him hallucinate, which is far worse but I worry about his heart with the coke...

Hi all. @Pinkandpurplehairedlady - have you had your review re: lithium?
I waited all last week for the agreed phone call to tell me if my pre-check bloods were ok & whether I’d be prescribed Li. Heard nothing. Went to collect my Lamotrigine from Boots today & they handed me a box of lithium!?!?
I rang my stand-in CPN, who was confused too. Several phone calls later it seems my bloods came back to the pdoc who emailed my GP & asked GP to prescribe it, who did without anyone telling me.
There’s literally just an unmarked white box with some pills in, with no information leaflet in there nor instructions. I was a bit . I mean, isn’t someone supposed to tell me I can take it, explain how & when, provide even a basic meds leaflet (like you even get in a box of paracetamol)? And what’s this purple booklet I see on the NHS website? I asked CPN just now & she didn’t know.

Does this sound right to anyone???

Hmmm, I’m still waiting for my blood results before I start but I was sent a purple booklet in the post that explains how Lithium works and all the side effects and what to look out for in case of toxicity. I was told I can’t have the lithium until I’ve read it and confirmed to the Care Coordinator that I had.

I think this is it: www.sussexpartnership.nhs.uk/sites/default/files/documents/lithium_patient_monitoring_booklet_-_aug_21.pdf

Sorry I don’t know how to do clicky links….

I've never been given a purple booklet, but I'm in Scotland, so I don't know if it's a bit different here. Couldn't tell you what my levels are. They've probably told me, but I don't remember lol. It's never really been something I needed to know tbh. I just get told if they're in range or not when I go for blood tests

Signs of lithium toxicity, there's plenty of info online. The Mind website is also quite informative

Hi, thanks for this thread.
I have type 2 bipolar and EUPD. I take Quetiapine in the evening and Sertraline in the morning. I struggle with any form of relationship, constantly feel paranoid, issues with spending, overeating and under eating. I feel like I live outside of my body sometimes - ie I could be talking but it’s as though I am watching someone else speaking. I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere.
I work full time, but at find it utterly exhausting but I have no choice due to debt, although I do like my job.

Hi everyone
Thanks for setting up this thread. I was looking for something like this a few weeks ago when I was feeling wired to the moon. I was diagnosed with EUPD around 6 months ago, struggled to get my head round it & still not convinced that's all that's going on but running out of energy with docs.. trawling over everything that's happening .. Interesting to see those with a dual diagnosis, I am currently unmedicated as they won't put me back on sertraline and say the best bet is DBT. But I'm convinced I have Bipolar as well. And need something to stabilise my moods. I have clear cycles of mania with planning, new ideas, little sleep, ridiculous overspending followed by a crash. Will watch this thread with interest, thank you x

So glad I found this thread I’m 28 with a 7 year old son.

I was diagnosed in 2016 after a major 4 month manic episode that nearly killed me. I was put on olanzapine at first which caused me to put on over 4 stone in 4 months but have been on many different meds lamotrigine, respiridone, aripriprazole and clapixol injections at one point didn’t Get on with any of them I am now getting better on lithium and qatiapine. I had the hyposexuality when manic aswell throwing myself at people and doing some really out of character things it’s really nice to hear other people say this as I think I’ve done trauma left from it as I now flinch when people touch me and have gone the other way and don’t want to have sex with anyone!

I was very nearly sectioned two years ago but luckily my local psychiatric hospital had a day unit (now closed) I’ve started weekly cbt on the phone once a week.

It’s extremely hard illness to live with I believe the most stable I’ve been is since starting the lithium although after 3 months and on quite a high dose my levels have just came back as not high enough still. But the rapid cycling I was doing has gone.

My mum help with my son a lot and when I was very unwell I willingly gave her joint custody IncaSee she ever needed to make decisions for him whilst I am not in my right mind he has major health problems.

Loved reading everyone’s different stories although sorry for what you are all going through.

I'm bipolar type 2, along with adhd and really bad anxiety. I've been on lithium for about five years. Tried lamotrogine, quetiapine, olanzapine. Also tried sertraline, fluoxetine and venlafaxine for the depression. I am now on bupropion and was on duoloxetine but coming off it. If anyone has med questions I have tried a few! I suffer more the depressive end of the scale.

I have 3 children, 16, 14 and 9. They are all adhd. I was doing really well until I started coming off the duoloxetine. I now feel weepy, down, frightened, scared, lost all my confidence. I have to drive across London today. Normally I'd be fine. I'm feeling sick at the thought of it. Can't speak to my psychiatrist till Monday. Should I just take my old dose of duoloxetine? I cannot be depressed again.

Hi @Stuffragette How did your drive go?

Sorry, I haven't been around. I went to Blackpool for a few days with my DS and DP. Was so good! Never been before! Really enjoyed it. Though stay away from those 2p machines. Bloody addictive 🤣 one 10 key rings though. No idea why I wanted them, but I have them now 😂

Is it a recent script? If so, I would take it again, as long as it's not one that you have to build up and isn't a really high dose, as you don't want any horrible unwanted side effects. Hope you're able to speak to your psych soon. I reluctantly had to go back on Sertraline in April. Just a low dose, 50mg. But it really lifted me from a dark place. Feel so much better. I also have ADHD and take meds for that as well. Are you on anything for that? As it could be ADHD burnout/overwhelm?

Won* not one

@BippityBoppity87 thanks for checking in on me. My stronger meds are starting to kick in so I'm feeling a bit better. I've got a stroppy teenage ds at home and that is doing nothing for my mental health.

Also is anyone else triggered by that change in weather, like the last of the sun has really gone. It definitely has an affect on my mood.

Hope everyone is having a calm weekend.

Hey everyone, hope you're all well. I have a maybe tmi question, but just looking for others opinions...

I've been really really up and down the past week. Almost like maybe a mild mixed episode? I go from feeling really hyper, chatting to everyone, agitated, spending all my money, flirtatious, to feeling really really low and want to burst into tears. It comes in quick succession, swinging from one mood to the other, and it's horrible. I've got it under control for now, as in I don't have any thoughts of SH or anything like that. Just very up and down mood wise. No reason to it at all

It almost feels like, you know when it's coming up to your time of the month and your mood can sometimes go a bit funny? It's similar to that, except I don't get periods at the moment as I have the implant. Maybe it's hormonal?

I've noticed this tends to happen when the seasons start to change, and I'll go a bit sqew wiffy for a couple of weeks, then sort of balance back out again. It's really weird. Is anyone else sensitive to seasonal changes like that?

It usually happens around March time, then July(ish) then late October/November. Not all the time, but I've noticed a pattern

@BippityBoppity87

Hey everyone, hope you're all well. I have a maybe tmi question, but just looking for others opinions...

I've been really really up and down the past week. Almost like maybe a mild mixed episode? I go from feeling really hyper, chatting to everyone, agitated, spending all my money, flirtatious, to feeling really really low and want to burst into tears. It comes in quick succession, swinging from one mood to the other, and it's horrible. I've got it under control for now, as in I don't have any thoughts of SH or anything like that. Just very up and down mood wise. No reason to it at all

It almost feels like, you know when it's coming up to your time of the month and your mood can sometimes go a bit funny? It's similar to that, except I don't get periods at the moment as I have the implant. Maybe it's hormonal?

I've noticed this tends to happen when the seasons start to change, and I'll go a bit sqew wiffy for a couple of weeks, then sort of balance back out again. It's really weird. Is anyone else sensitive to seasonal changes like that?

It usually happens around March time, then July(ish) then late October/November. Not all the time, but I've noticed a pattern

Hi, no great words of wisdom or insight, but wanted to say that I can feel like this too (rapidly changing "mood") and seems logical that hormones and/or weather could have an effect. That's not say there's a specific reason for what's going on with you, just agreeing that it's possible you are being affected by external factors . I struggle with the darker nights and mornings at this time of year, and can definitely feel more wonky than usual due to things like that. Hormones can make you feel shit at the best of times! Something that definitely affects me as well is if someone close to me is in a weird or different mood, don't know if anything like that could be going on with you... Maybe worth speaking to your MH team, even just so they know you've had a change in how you're feeling that isn't typical for you? Hope you're ok, it's tiring .

Hi, I think I'm late to the party.
I'm 51, diagnosed 18 years. I've got 4 children but only 1 at home. Two grandchildren.
I'm on Lithium, Venlafaxine and Mirtazapine.
Highs are more or less manageable these days, but downs are still vicious.

Bipolar 2 and going through a hypo mania phase (very rare) excessive spending, brain feels totally wired, self harm. Have been given diazepam and zopiclone until I can see someone next week. I feel like I’m out of control, paranoid. I’m terrified as I’m due back to work on Monday after half term. I work too much because I never feel anything I do is good enough. Been on meds forever it’s too much

I'm 45 and was diagnosed 7 years ago (! I always feel it's only been a couple of years). BP2, ultra rapid cycling. Well, it used to be ultra rapid cycling, but since I unexpectedly fell pregnant 2 1/2 years ago I was consistently mildly depressed for pretty much the last two years. It's only now, bubs is 20 months old that I'm starting to feel more like myself and exhibiting anything even remotely level, or slightly high.

I'm not medicated. I was typically in a pattern of mostly hypomania, my crashes would only be 2-5 hours of crushing depression, so I never really felt I needed to be medicated. I never get psychosis. Never get to full blown mania. Having said that I obviously don't lead a typical life. I can't hold down a job for longer than 4-6 months before I get bored, or have a better idea and quit. I solved this by starting my own business 4 years ago, and it's still going strong. I'm on my third marriage... just a romantic at heart 🙄. I spend too frivolously, I'm too spontaneous with decisions, impulsive, etc.

Anyway, looking forward to chatting, mingling, and offering support.

I seem to have calmed down now thankfully, but now I can't stop eating 🙈 feel like my body is trying to stock up for hibernation, which is really annoying as I've lost weight and now I'm probably going to put it all back on

I also now have no money, as I spent it all on god knows what. My DP said I was getting a bit ridiculous with the parcels (had about 5 in one day the other day) and I have to agree. Asked what I bought. Not a clue! Really hate being like this sometimes

Anyway, hope you're all well

Hi all,

I started this thread but haven't been back for a while because I ended up in a psych hospital for a month.

I came here originally because my partner is bipolar but turns out I have it to...

They didn't actually tell me this, I found out from my discharge summary 🙄

I was rapid cycling and self harmed so badly I had to go to A&E.

I'm autistic and have ADHD as well.

I'm now on lamotrigine, quetiapine, venlafaxine, ritalin, trazadone, promethazine, naltrexone, and other stuff for physical symptoms. The lamotrigine has helped massively!

@DonnieDark

Hi all,

I started this thread but haven't been back for a while because I ended up in a psych hospital for a month.

I came here originally because my partner is bipolar but turns out I have it to...

They didn't actually tell me this, I found out from my discharge summary 🙄

I was rapid cycling and self harmed so badly I had to go to A&E.

I'm autistic and have ADHD as well.

I'm now on lamotrigine, quetiapine, venlafaxine, ritalin, trazadone, promethazine, naltrexone, and other stuff for physical symptoms. The lamotrigine has helped massively!

That's a lot for you to take on board! Was it a shock, or did you suspect you might be bipolar? Hope you're ok.

Hope everyone has been doing ok over Christmas, been finding it really hard and very tearful for 'no reason'

Hi everyone, I have BP2 and have had PND now for nearly 8 months. I’m deciding between Venlafaxine and Lithium as my next med. I’m already on Lamotrigine and it works to a degree but not when I’m in a deep depression. I tried Quetiapine but hated it.

The people I know on Lithium have Type 1, but I’ve read a number of studies suggesting it in fact works even better for Type 2.

Does anyone here take Lithium successfully for Type 2 and specifically has it worked for depressive episodes as well as to keep you stable between episodes?

Thank you so much.

Hey, is anyone still on this thread at all? About to start Lithium after a year or so of failed meds!