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Husband delusional thoughts of persecution... never had MH issues before

82 replies

Metabigot · 12/09/2021 11:26

My husand told me he'd had this secret for the last 12 years that he'd been too embarrassed/ashamed to tell me.

He then started talking like a mad man.

He said there were a group of people who wanted to spy on him and take pictures of him going to the loo or masturbating. I said why he said to put on the internet and tell everyhone he was a pervert.

He only sees/them hears them in speific situaitons usually festivals or parties. I asked if they knew us or knew anyone we knew. He thought they may be friends of friends but when I pointed out that the situatoins he'd seen them in had been with totally different friend groups he came unstuck.

So he thinks this malevolent group just so happen to go to every festival/party (seems to be big parties where he doesn't know many) even though they don't know any of our mutual friends, and they just so happen to end up camping near us etc with the intention of putting cameras in our tent/putting him under surveillance to try and gain evidence of him doing something humiliating.

He said he heard them at my brother's party when he was in the loo, despite ackowedging they weren't invitees - when probed he said they must have been next door and watching him. I said bit of a coincidence they moved right next to my brother! So it's all absolute nonsense but he can't see it as whenever I challenge him he says 'but I heard them say x'

Typicallly this is making nasty or sexual comments bout him - the worst one being 'the voice' saying he must be really enjoying taking a look when changing daughters nappy. He actually thinks this person 'said' that to him on one of the camping/festival occasions.

He's never shown any other signs of reality distortion this does seem very situation specific and I think was triggered by a real life incicent where (before he met me) he was pleasuring himself in a tent at a festival and the people next door may have heard and possibly said something - he said he lay there frozen with humiliation for hours.

He then said they were trying to capture pictures of him as he found some broken mirror in the tent that was theirs. and that later he saw one of the people with a camera. (obviously people will have cameras with them at festivals- this was in 2009 pre smart phone era)

I'm just worried that his thought processes seem to exclude reality... he's never had any MH problems before and this is extremely out of character. At one point he started talking about how 'they' could buy a house accross the road to set up cameras to spy on us but then he backtracked and said he was being light hearted.
He doesn't want to go to the doctor as when I said something may have gone a bit wrong with his thought processes and we can get it sorted he said he could live with it. Plus he still believes its true although I may have put a chink into how much by some of my questioning.
Any advice plse

OP posts:
Hm2020 · 14/09/2021 19:29

Sorry you are going through this op my friend is currently suffering from psychosis and he’s sure his paranoid delusion to do with police and being set up had been going on for 16 years yet I promise you he did not think that just last year. So in my experience possibly he has fabricated the memory.

Metabigot · 14/09/2021 19:39

Thanks I'm not sure now that he is truly delusional as he's accepted the fact that it's possibly all not true says I've broken the spell but I'm concerned he did believe it 100% to start, weird one I'll keep an eye on him.

OP posts:
Onehotmess · 14/09/2021 20:02

@JorisBohnson2 just be mindful that after seeing your reaction, he may just be telling you what you want to hear and may become secretive about it.

Theworldishard · 14/09/2021 20:50

I'm sorry op but I think you need to realise your husband is not well.
You leaving it and keeping an eye on him is not enough.
He needs to see his g.p for.a.referreal.to the mental health team.
As his wife, who has capacity, you need to.make this decision for him.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 14/09/2021 21:54

It sounds like pressure/stress could be a trigger.

From my limited experience, saying things like 'that must feel very frightening for you' and 'that sounds pretty scary' so you are acknowledging the feeling rather than disputing the delusions, is apparently helpful.

Hope you can get him to his GP Flowers

Moviestar · 17/09/2021 16:44

Hi OP , just wondering how your husband is doing?

Metabigot · 18/09/2021 17:54

@Moviestar

Hi OP , just wondering how your husband is doing?
Thanks for asking. He has been having trouble sleeping but is coming to terms with the fact that what he believed was real doesn't make sense

I don't think he believes it anymore but keeps saying he's confused at how it seemed so real particularly hearing things being said about him.

He admitted that the original time when he was in the tent having a fiddle (way before he met me) he had taken LSD and weed together and thinks this may have tripped something in his brain.

He's off the drugs now needless to say.

OP posts:
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