Anxiety

[ginandnappies]

Hello hello :)

Sorry might be a long one!

I have suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember. It's mostly health anxiety which over the past 5 years or so became consuming to the point where in 2018 I lost over 4 stone in about 5 months, I went down to 6 stone 2 (I'm 5 foot 5 so wasn't great) I was put on medication which helped massively, I also had counselling sessions.

Fast forward to the start of this year I decided i would try come off them, I've read lots of stories that this works for some but unfortunately it didn't for me. The past 3 months have been torture, I haven't been eating, not sleeping and being a shell of myself.

I was at the doctors this morning because I conceived I was seriously ill again, all seems fine but I got put back on my medication which is what I need. I cried uncontrollably while telling her how low I felt, how I'm not being a good mum, how I can't carry on waking up everyday feeling sick and exhausted.

Even though I'm going back in a few months to check the health issue (she said it's for my mind to be put to rest not because she's worried) I feel so much better already knowing I've spoken out loud about it to someone other than immediate family.

I don't really know why I'm posting this I just feel like I've wasted the past three months being a shell of myself, not enjoying time with my family and if someone reads this and decided enough is enough then I'll be over the moon.

Take care everyone xx

First of all I'm pleased to read you saw a GP. All I can say is... don't dwell on the last three months. Your headspace now is what matters. I hope you continue to feel better. Sending a virtual hug op

Hi there,

I too suffer from HA. I’m probably considered to be high functioning - never been on meds but have accessed CBT in the past and have also spoken to my GP a few times over the years about how I am feeling.

Ive had two particularly bad periods of HA - one in 2017 and more recently. I lost my mum in June and it’s been a huge trigger. After her funeral and all the practical things were organised I started to slip into a lot of my old HA behaviours - obsessing over different health issues, body scanning, prodding etc.

I’ve gone through so many worried since July - multiple health conditions, sometimes multiple on the same day.

I’m still off work following my mum dying and I wonder if that’s contributing to the issues. Maybe I need to go back and be busier. But the thought of it just fills me with dread.

Sorry you are going through similar OP.

I am trying to practice lots of self care at the moment and it does help.

I am speaking to my GP in the next week and I know she will talk about medication - I’m not sure what to do really, I can usually come out of a blip myself but this one feels quite long.

@bowchickawowwoww thank you! You're right, I just need to focus on what's ahead. thanks for you kind words x

@QueenFreesia2021 I'm very sorry to hear about your mum. 

I completely understand everything you're saying, I normally can come out of the bad periods myself but I just couldn't.
Medication isn't for everyone, have you tried meditating? That actually really helps me aswell.

I lost my job during Covid and that has not helped at all, I seem to thrive on routine and keeping busy but only you'll know if you're ready. It really is absolutely awful and I do hope you manage to come out the other end soon!

Always here for anyone that needs a chat etc.
X

[quote ginandnappies]@QueenFreesia2021 I'm very sorry to hear about your mum. 

I completely understand everything you're saying, I normally can come out of the bad periods myself but I just couldn't.
Medication isn't for everyone, have you tried meditating? That actually really helps me aswell.

I lost my job during Covid and that has not helped at all, I seem to thrive on routine and keeping busy but only you'll know if you're ready. It really is absolutely awful and I do hope you manage to come out the other end soon!

Always here for anyone that needs a chat etc.
X [/quote]
I have tried lots of things - my issue is often that I stop doing them when I feel better!!

I do wonder if meds would help in the longer term though. I hate being this way.

I go about my day - I’m a busy mum, I work full time etc and yet on the back of my mind is a health condition of some sort. Even when I am having a good time and think I’m relaxed it pops up.

I’m just about to start grief counselling or CBT via occupational health. CBT was amazing for me in the past so I’m hoping it helps me again.

[quote ginandnappies]@QueenFreesia2021 I'm very sorry to hear about your mum. 

I completely understand everything you're saying, I normally can come out of the bad periods myself but I just couldn't.
Medication isn't for everyone, have you tried meditating? That actually really helps me aswell.

I lost my job during Covid and that has not helped at all, I seem to thrive on routine and keeping busy but only you'll know if you're ready. It really is absolutely awful and I do hope you manage to come out the other end soon!

Always here for anyone that needs a chat etc.
X [/quote]
I sent you a mumsnet PM - feel free to ignore if you would prefer

@QueenFreesia2021 I'm just about to put my wee boy down I'll be back on soon xx

Hi There.. Its been a long time since I was on Mum's net. Firstly I wanted to say 👋. And how incredible you Mum's sound. It's not just me feeling so down and depressed. Xx

@EmsRose hello! :) aw thank you that's lovely. It's definitely not just you, I've had the worst few months but I'm focusing on each day at a time and hoping things get better. Xx

Hey @EmsRose I suffer from pretty extreme health anxiety and have done for as long as I can remember I’m 31 now. I usually am high functioning but this last month I’ve basically had a nervous breakdown and I cannot cope at all i am a shell of my self. I’ve moved back in with my
Parents have been signed off work and can barely even function. I am anxious 24/7 and now starting to feel depressed. I am due to start fluxotine today but I’ve never been on any ADs before and I’m scared but I can’t carry on like this. I hope you feel better xx

Hey Gina I hope you're feeling a little better today. Thank you for your reply too.

Hi loo234. Hope that's ok to call you. It sound's like you have been through the mill bless you. You are soo young compared to me lol. I'm 47 with two beautiful girls age 3 and 14 lol. Totally constantly on the go. I'm pleased you have support from your parents. Just also wanted to say please try not to be scared about going on ADs. I was the same a couple of years ago. Where my life was so hectic all in one go. Try not to go on. But I ended up having vertigo for almost 5months. Didn't realise that is a stress breaker. Am here if you need me. That goes to everyone if I can help us Mum's. Xx

@EmsRose

Hey Gina I hope you're feeling a little better today. Thank you for your reply too.

Xx

@EmsRose hey course it’s okay.
Had quite a rough day today just want to get back to myself can’t believe how quick this has happened! I took my first tablet today and I feel very tired and a bit not with it xx

You will do. You may feel abit spaced out for a couple of weeks. But those side effects do go. Can I please ask what dosage you're on?. You don't have to tell me. It's just. I was on 10mg of citalpram for a couple of year's. Then all of a sudden. Had a melt down a few weeks ago. Couldn't cope with anything. Wanted to sleep and shut myself away. I was put on to 20mg for a couple of weeks. Seemed OK.. Then went back down again. So have now been put on 30mg from today. Xx

Hi Loo I’ve also not tried meds but considering them at the moment - honestly don’t worry about giving them a go. They won’t do any harm and might be the turning point for you.

Have you tried any talking therapies?

I have referred for CBT again - I did this before and it was great.

@EmsRose I’m on 20mg didn’t sleep well last night at all and today I have such bad anxiety and I am so tired.

@QueenFreesia2021 I am currently doing CBT had my first session on Tuesday ive had it before years ago and it did work well but I am defo a lot worse this time around.

I'm ao sorry for you both. I think Loo i remember my first night I had insomnia. It does take time hun. I've had little counselling before but it wasn't for me. As my brain is constantly on overload. Had a bit of rubbish news. I was booked in for a liver scan this Saturday. Been cancelled. So trying not to get too anxious again. Xx

The thing is everything takes time. Tbh it's really lovely talking to other's that understand. Xx

Insomnia is a big issue for me. I often dread nighttime. I’m going through a phase like that just now but I am trying hard to overcome it because when I don’t sleep well, my anxiety is so much worse.

I’ve been taking magnesium around 8pm, snd also having a bedtime tea that’s got chamomile in it as well as other stuff. I think it is starting to help. I also bought a magnesium spray for my legs that I really need to try as it’s apparantly really good.

I’ve woken this morning very anxious - feel like I can’t get my legs moving properly, feeling nauseous and tearful. But I got up, got the kids ready for school, did all the usual breakfasts / lunches etc and now I am sitting with a cup of calming tea (again with camomile and other ingredients!) and I’m going to work on some of my online CBT for half an hour and do some relaxation techniques.

Then I will get showered and ready for the day.

@Loo234 I’m hoping to start CBT this coming week or next 🤞

I feel like this week has been my worst in a while. Recently I’ve been worrying non stop but can get on with my day. That’s been harder this week. I’ve still got on with my day but it’s been like wading through treacle sometimes.

Do you find motivation to do things at home difficult when you are anxious? I have so much stuff to organise in the house and I just can’t motivate myself to get it done. However going to try and tackle some of it today.

Yesterday I met a friend for coffee which was lovely. I felt so anxious on the way home though 😔

@EmsRose

Hi There.. Its been a long time since I was on Mum's net. Firstly I wanted to say 👋. And how incredible you Mum's sound. It's not just me feeling so down and depressed. Xx

I hadn’t been on mumsnet for ages either until recently - it’s been a good distraction for me at times! I started looking at the threads again when we were away on holiday camping. Once everyone was asleep and I was struggling to sleep, it took my mind of off of all my worries.

I’m trying to avoid social media as much as possible at the moment. I was a member of lots of health related groups on Facebook so I have now either left those or unfollowed them.

Does anyone listen to the anxiety guy?

Sorry only just seen your thread. Just wanted to say well done you for today. It does take alot of effort even getting ourselves ready. Especially when we have kid's too. I'm not on Facebook. Just not for me at all. Am off work this week with depression. Tbh think the tablet's are kicking in. Which my closest friend said I must need them if the doctor has prescribed for my dosage to be upted. The problem I have is I'm constantly thinking of other things that need doing lol. Today I actually rested and watched a series on Netflix called Clique. Really enjoying it. It is very hard in switching off. How was coffee with your friend?. Ps i can't do herbal tea's. Xx

Ps what is the anxiety guy??. X

Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't been on checking this thread. Has a really rough week, felt amazing the first day of taking my pills (bloody placebo) then I started to feel a bit groggy which I can cope with. Saturday my anxiety was just unbearable and I fell into a deep horrible place. Focused around my child's health, managed to convince myself he has some terrible illness due to the fact he's had a cold on and off for the last month. Rational part of my brain knows it's just nursery and he's not getting a chance to kick it but you know what it's like. So I'm now being referred to CBT and have an online therapy thing to do. Haven't ate since Sunday or slept properly so feeling awful. Hope everyone else is doing better. Sending lots of strength and good vibes xx

Just wish I could stop. My partner is trying to hard to be supportive but it's really affecting our relationship now. He keeps saying he just wants me to be happy but it feels hopeless right now, can't see myself ever getting back to any kind of normal.