NHS Mask Shamed/Discrimination, escalating action (thread 2)

[Maskwoes]

First thread: Mask shamed (disability), complain? (Some TMI) http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3978398-mask-shamed-disability-complain-some-tmi

It's been almost a year since I made my original post, and the after effects are deeply ingrained in my soul. I've had my piece published in Laura Dodsworth's book "A State of Fear" too.

I complained through PALS and my concerns were escalated to a senior nurse at the MIU, where my concerns were met with pure disdain, an attitude of "fuck you, wear a mask, protect everyone, I don't give two shits about the impact on your mental health". She also wrote that any questioning regarding lack of masks would be gentler and more private - things I know have not been implemented.

I've taken legal advice to determine my legal position and I'm told I have a strong case as the MIU stance contravened governmental coronavirus regulations and the impact to my mental health is shocking. Also that my mental health conditions, including PTSD and GAD from the sexual assault, and how they affect me are enshrined as a protected characteristic (Equality Act) and their actions were in contravention of this and direct disability discrimination.

I'm about to escalate up the chain to CCG, then CQC, then sue. Why sue? Why do I feel the consuming rage to take money from the cash strapped NHS? Because it's the only language they will understand - the only thing that will force accountability and responsibility on them. I can then directly pay privately for counselling.

Look, you’ve sued. You’ll get some money what more do you want?

You went to a hospital at the peak where HCP were dying. You didn’t wear a mask so you put them at risk. That’s the bottom line here. Your right to not wear a mask trumped their right to safety, you won, they lost. Move the fuck on.

I agree in part with what RealhousewifeofStoke and FloconDeNeige have said.

I really am sorry for the horrific assault you endured and it sounds like the ongoing PTSD and GAD have a significant impact on your day to day life. Maybe you already are aware but have you tried EMDR therapy?

As an HCP I don’t think suing the NHS is the correct course of action as I think it unlikely you will be successful.

You have my wholehearted support.

There is no credible evidence masks are of any benefit whatsoever. Fauci knows they don't do anything and admitted it in his private emails.

ThIs fraud needs exposing for what it is.

I am sorry this has happened to you but I think you need to let it go and move on. It happened in the relatively early days, the staff who dealt with you had most likely seen a lot of death and illness through Covid and were most likely traumatised themselves. They saw you as putting colleagues and patients at risk. They have seen worse things than what you went through, you are still alive after all. The NHS is in a desperate state, please drop this. It can’t be good for your MH anyway to keep it going.

I don't believe you should have had to explain yourself so many times- hospital I work in have a very strict no mask no enter policy, and it's non negotiable. I would imagine in this situation a face visor would be acceptable, and I'm sure it would be- we've had to adapt to use them before. The mask refusal issue has become so difficult- as was even more so then- so many people claiming issues juts because they didn't agree- it's kinda similar to the increase in allergies that aren't allergies- difficult sometimes to determine who is actually telling the truth. Given how badly this is till affecting you- have you had counselling? It seems you are still so angry over a year later that maybe concentrating on your own mental healt may be more beneficial at the moment

Personally I’d focus the energy into healing yourself

The nhs are totally fucked

And mental health services are on the floor

I emphasise with your trauma and I don’t thing this battle is going to make
Your MH any better

@Glowbuggy

People are DYING. Wear a mask.

Wearing a mask has never been proven to save anyone's life.

They are comfort blankets to get the fearful out of their houses and into shops.

@AgnesNaismith

OP I’m so sorry for what you went through I hope you get the therapy you need and the peace you deserve.

However, there are alternatives - how about a visor? It is, or was, so important to not just look after yourself but put others in front of you.

OP says he was given a visor in his last thread but that also triggered him.

Great post @FloconDeNeige - this bit particularly resonated - ‘If everyone who had suffered health impacts as an indirect result of the pandemic were to sue the NHS, where would that leave it?’ Lots of us have lost a lot during the pandemic, health and other wise.

OP I am very sorry for what you have been through. Your experience sounds horrific. Please focus on yourself though and don’t put yourself through a legal process. If it doesn’t go the way you want, where will that leave you?

Im so sorry about the terrible abuse you suffered in your teens and that it has left you with such profound MH issues. No one should have to go through that.

What happened with the mask wearing incident was handled far from discreetly or sympathetically but it was vital at a time when covid was out of control that masks were worn whenever possible. Hospitals are obviously major vectors of transmission and many people are saying they are exempt when they could actually wear one. Your reason is clearly valid and it should have been obvious you weren’t just a bit anxious but at the time many HCPs were frightened, stressed and exhausted and also suffering from PTSD so they may have not handled the situation well .

I don’t think the incident was handled well but I doubt it was personal or intended to cause distress and I think pursuing a legal case won’t help anyone now or in the future and keeps the incident at the front of your mind which might well add to your PTSD

@Maskwoes

Honestly *@Themeparklover* your arrogance is breathtaking. I've been on the internet since 1994 and never have mere words on a screen hurt me as much as your victim blaming, accusatory post has.

What a nasty way to speak to someone who has suffered an awful trauma. How come it’s ok for you to do this OP but not for others to do it to you?

Good for you OP. I am shocked by the lack of compassion in this thread, clearly some people haven't been on the wrong end of the NHS before.

On a personal note, I am having to stand up to a (different) organisation for their poor treatment of me lately. Your strength is inspiring, I'll be thinking of you

@confuseddotcom090

You have my wholehearted support.

There is no credible evidence masks are of any benefit whatsoever. Fauci knows they don't do anything and admitted it in his private emails.

ThIs fraud needs exposing for what it is.

Where do you get this idea from? You tube?

There is plenty of evidence that they help to prevent some spread. That's all they need to do and masks are quite good at it. They aren't 100% effective, but they are just one of the tools used to stop the spread of this virus.

It is hard for you but you need to think of the otherside as well. My son and DIL have been on covid wards through the pandeic. DIL was truly traumatised at the height of the pandemic when shift after shift she was holding people who were dying, helping them to say their goodbyes to families and then seeing them die. She's been covered in vomit and snot and how she has't caught it I don't know. My son did catch it.

Many HCPs have PTSD as well but thankfully most of them have carried on. The toll on their mental health has been terrible.

I'm not dismissing your issues just trying to give you some balance. HCPs are human as well.

Crikey. I have just read your first thread from mid 2020.
I actually took myself off MN for most of last year because it was quickly made apparent that people were turning into complete arseholes in regards to covid. Some of the replies, genuinely, have stunned me and some here too, from right now! I'm sorry you were subjected to that.

I can't believe some people are still so militant about masks. Most of the fabric ones you see offer zero protection due to the fabric being too open weave, with no hope of any filtration. Many people also don't wash their masks or they have the same disposable one in their pocket for endless time. These people really might as well not bother!

I can't believe some people are still so militant about masks. Most of the fabric ones you see offer zero protection due to the fabric being too open weave, with no hope of any filtration. Many people also don't wash their masks or they have the same disposable one in their pocket for endless time. These people really might as well not bother

Completely different issue - those of us who do wear them properly are protecting ourselves and others. And the cloth ones do help - common sense says that if everyone has a barrier in front of their mouth the virus will be unable to spread as easily.

But anyway, different issue.

OP I am not keen on suing the NHS as all you are doing is suing the taxpayer - there was a case last week about parents who lost their baby son and they made this very point when the NHS was fined for its poor care. I agree with others that your energies would be better spent in counselling or support for your trauma.

I am not sure why the staff you met were so rude, but their right to protection is no less important than your rights. This issue would have not have arisen if the government had arranged for a nationally accepted exemption system.

Please move on, this sort of waste of energy achieves nothing and will end up prolonging trauma in the end.

Personally I’d focus the energy into healing yourself

This, absolutely.

Suing the NHS to pay for counselling you needed isn't the way.

To be honest they could have been suffering the same things as you and been frightened. Just because you work in the area doesn't mean they don't have PTSD and would you be happy to be treated by them if they were also exempt?

If you was then fine as you know the risks and sake if you are happy for a dentist not to wear one.

I say this as someone who has been through something similar as you as a child.

People are dying. Wearing a face mask is difficult for many people for many reasons.

I feel sorry for you but you seem determined to find someone to be angry at and to blame. You need help.

Can you not imagine how health care workers feel, putting their lives at risk, using extensive Ppe for hours on end which makes them feel physically ill and gives them rashes and skin conditions. They go through that in order to help people. Can you not understand how it might piss them off dealing with the numerous ‘special’ people who feel they are exempt from wearing a mask.

No one struggling for breath due to COVID finds themselves too special to wear an oxygen mask.

Why come back here to tell us? You know how strongly people feel about it and that you’ll be told you’re wrong.

Just wear a visor if you can? Or carry in the path you’re on and do what’s right for you? I can’t see that stirring up this thread is doing you any good of your responses are as strong as you say?

I would also advise against suing because it will drain you further emotionally and will probably not be successful.

A friend of mine sued the NHS over a botched operation that left her without sight in one eye and in permanent pain. The case was dragged out over 9 years and in the end she received a fraction of what she had believed she would get. One of the first things she said to me afterwards was that she wished she hadn't done it as it had robbed her of nearly a decade which would have been better spent on making what she could of her life in her altered circumstances.

No one struggling for breath due to COVID finds themselves too special to wear an oxygen mask. That's a good point, I wonder if anyone has refused an oxygen mask?

@Thehop

Why come back here to tell us? You know how strongly people feel about it and that you’ll be told you’re wrong.

Just wear a visor if you can? Or carry in the path you’re on and do what’s right for you? I can’t see that stirring up this thread is doing you any good of your responses are as strong as you say?

For the drama? Attention? The best thing to do would be to seek help for oneself rather than try and seek the validation of strangers on the Internet.

Sorry for all you're going through op.

You know, in all my years of healthcare treating people with TB and swine flu, I never came across a single person who said they weren't able to wear a mask to go in the isolation room.