Social housing - mental health

[mumofboysxo]

At the end of October last yeah I was evicted from my private rented accommodation by being handed a section 21. Due to Covid we had 6 months to find alternative accommodation, I didn’t find this a problem as I was currently renting and thought I’ll just find something elsewhere! Boy was I wrong!!! I never managed to find a private rent accommodation through a landlord or estate agents as I’m unemployed!

I have 3 children, 7,4 10 months. I started a homeless request with the council in January and since then my mental health has declined rapidly, I’m not eating, sleeping etc and struggle daily with the stress and no stability. I have told the council this and have been given a therapist and anti depresents by my gp.

I received a call from the council 2 days ago to say I do not have to leave the property on my eviction date. My problem is that the unknown/no stability and stress is causing me massive problems with my mental health. And I struggle in a daily basis and fear that the longer this situation carries on for the harder I’m going to fall.

I’ve never suffered with mental health before so this is all new to me. My housing officers seem to just brush off my mental health and haven’t understood or even tried to understand that the prolonging of this housing is causing me a great deal of stress.

Not to mention I want to be the best mother to my 3 children. We’ve just started a referral for my eldest for autism/adhd as he suffers from ticks and also struggles with change so I need to give him warning of any changes.

I feel the council could rectify this whole situation and I my mental health can start improving once I have stability and all they need to do is remove me from this situation but I’m not getting anywhere and they’ve said could be 6 months could be 2 months they don’t know.

Has anyone else been through anything like this and got somewhere with the council?

I would love to rent privately again but due to being good unemployed and my income they won’t accept me. I am still looking for hope I do come a cross something though.
I hope no one thinks I’m expecting a house handed to me. I’m just expecting help to find a stable home for my family.

This thread has turned very judgmental.

The OP is in a worrying situation. She is trying to get help while taking responsibility for her DC.

She is posting on the MH board about a housing situation.

What gives anyone the right to aggressively question what contraceptive plans she has?

Who's business is it whether she will be claiming housing benefits, UC etc?

If posters can't offer practical or moral support, then perhaps they should scroll past to find another thread to entertain themselves on?

@inmyslippers
@daisyoranges

Thank you. Obviously things aren’t ideal for me right now but I won’t let people judging me on the internet get me down they’re the least of my worries

[quote mumofboysxo]@WallaceinAnderland
You get judged for not working, you get judged for working, you get judged for having children and then you get judged for having too many!
Also get judged for being a single parent but then you’ll get judged for taking care of the children single handed because that’s not good enough
I didn’t plan to be in this situation it’s not as though I’ve done it myself
I only wanted advice [/quote]
Try to ignore the judgement. It doesn't help with the housing situation and will only make you feel worse. Any of us could become a single parent overnight. Any of us could find ourselves in a difficult situation, needing advice and support. Focus on those that are giving you that.

@BayandBlonde on the 25th March x

@WallaceinAnderland thank you for your advice have a lovely evening

Do not pack your kids off to their dads to live, extra contact, yes, but you need to be housed with them.

@Wondermule.
Such a shame you find it odd. But that doesn’t matter.

Thank you for all your helpful advice.

@EvilPea
Don’t worry my children are staying firmly with me I am their safe place and their home

have you started to pack the house up op?

thats what i did....items to take with and items to leave/storage

chance for a good clear out too. most things can be replaced but things you need like documents, photos etc i would take with

@EvilPea
My landlord understand but can’t understand the system just as much as I can’t.
He’s now got nowhere to live as our eviction date is next week!
I can’t pack the house as my eldest son will start asking questions and worrying/getting anxious because I don’t have the answers of where we’re going!
But I’m trying to pack up things he won’t notice

@Bluebird2021

I’ve packed minimal things we don’t use/need as if I start packing my eldest son starts asking questions and he has to have answers. Then he worries about anything and everything so I don’t want to start making him anxious

is landlord a single person? or is it his whole family needing to live there?

@Bluebird2021
Himself and his family.

[quote mumofboysxo]@EvilPea
My landlord understand but can’t understand the system just as much as I can’t.
He’s now got nowhere to live as our eviction date is next week!
I can’t pack the house as my eldest son will start asking questions and worrying/getting anxious because I don’t have the answers of where we’re going!
But I’m trying to pack up things he won’t notice[/quote]
I understand, I rent privately and I’ve had the tearful conversation of we’ve had notice but don’t know where we are going. We ended up having to move within the month. It was mental.
Your going to have to just pack it up and explain it will be ok, you’ll be ok. It WILL be ok just a bit bumpy for a while.
Ultimately being able to get a social housing will offer you and the kids stability, you just have to get through this shit bit first.

Think to the positives, you don’t know where your going. But it will be yours and kids home until they grow up, you can paint it. They can potentially have pets. It can be a proper home. If your lucky enough to have a garden you can grow flowers and see them flourish.
You WILL be ok.

i had 4 dc and moved to hostel escaping dv....i had to sell it to the kids as an adventure

and it certainly was!!

@EvilPea

I’ve been trying to find private rent for months and always get the same knock backs!
Everything seems to of gone wrong at once.
My relationship broke down, lost my job, lost my home, haven’t seen my mum or dad in a year because of lockdown and she was taking care of my Nan, lost my nan and my grandad 2 months apart and now living in the unknown with a lot of anxiety and worry!

I keep telling myself it’ll be worth it and we will be where we need to be at the right time! Everything happens for a reason, as long as my children are loved, happy and healthy I can get through anything!

And once we are settled everything will be in the past and we WILL be okay!
But they still will NEVER be having a pet

@Bluebird2021
I’m so sorry to hear that!
I hope you are all settled in a home now!

I know I will be flamed for this but I can't help but wonder why people have so many children when they have no support/job/home. Ops situation must be awful for her and I do sympathise with it but it does always cross my mind. I know life isn't always black and white and she's a damn good mum for sticking around and doing her best. Xxd

Mumofboysxo.I think some people are being very judgemental here TBH. You are in a difficult position ,and many people dont seem able to understand .Can you see if maybe there is a Church housing project? In our area they help with many situations like this ,and will liase with local landlords and so on. I think you are doing very well in a hard position .What about the CAB as well .Council Housing has been cut so much and it is not fair .

But they still will NEVER be having a pet
Meanie

It will be ok. I know it’s fucking shit and it’s easy for me to say. It is all consuming I know it is. That’s another reason for packing, it means your being productive, “achieving” something and controlling something.
Reassure the kids you’ll be together and that’s what’s important.

@Babycakes39

I know I will be flamed for this but I can't help but wonder why people have so many children when they have no support/job/home. Ops situation must be awful for her and I do sympathise with it but it does always cross my mind. I know life isn't always black and white and she's a damn good mum for sticking around and doing her best. Xxd

Babycakes39 Presumably no one has a Crystal Ball though? Maybe people were once able to afford 3 children and had a bright future .It only takes one or two knocks and they are in a bad way .RL break up ,job loss and so on .There for the grace of God and all that!

@Babycakes39 I had a job and home and support but like I said I lost it all pretty much at once somethings just aren’t meant to be but my children are amazing and are no more worse off just because it’s just me at home, they love it being just us

@dottiedodah
I’ve never heard of anything like that near me but I’ll definitely look into it!
Thank you

Op are your still around? I can talk you through this sensibly.

You need to wait to be evicted. I know it's shit but this will award you the status of 'unintentionally homeless' and you will be given b banding for bidding on properties.

You are correct you will initially go into temp housing and at that point you will have full housing assessment of need and get your banding. I expect you are d just now.

I know temp will be stesssful. I would be speaking to school right now and asking for support with the child who will struggle. They will understand - you won't be the 1st parent in this situation I promise.

I think you should try and prepare your oldest. Maybe draw some pictures or whatever will help him understand. Again if he is seen at school by a senco they can help. Kids who worry want to feel reassure the adults have got things under control.

Once you get bidding and get permanent housing it will be so worth it and you can relax and plan to go back to work or college or whatever.