Social housing - mental health

[mumofboysxo]

At the end of October last yeah I was evicted from my private rented accommodation by being handed a section 21. Due to Covid we had 6 months to find alternative accommodation, I didn’t find this a problem as I was currently renting and thought I’ll just find something elsewhere! Boy was I wrong!!! I never managed to find a private rent accommodation through a landlord or estate agents as I’m unemployed!

I have 3 children, 7,4 10 months. I started a homeless request with the council in January and since then my mental health has declined rapidly, I’m not eating, sleeping etc and struggle daily with the stress and no stability. I have told the council this and have been given a therapist and anti depresents by my gp.

I received a call from the council 2 days ago to say I do not have to leave the property on my eviction date. My problem is that the unknown/no stability and stress is causing me massive problems with my mental health. And I struggle in a daily basis and fear that the longer this situation carries on for the harder I’m going to fall.

I’ve never suffered with mental health before so this is all new to me. My housing officers seem to just brush off my mental health and haven’t understood or even tried to understand that the prolonging of this housing is causing me a great deal of stress.

Not to mention I want to be the best mother to my 3 children. We’ve just started a referral for my eldest for autism/adhd as he suffers from ticks and also struggles with change so I need to give him warning of any changes.

I feel the council could rectify this whole situation and I my mental health can start improving once I have stability and all they need to do is remove me from this situation but I’m not getting anywhere and they’ve said could be 6 months could be 2 months they don’t know.

Has anyone else been through anything like this and got somewhere with the council?

I would love to rent privately again but due to being good unemployed and my income they won’t accept me. I am still looking for hope I do come a cross something though.
I hope no one thinks I’m expecting a house handed to me. I’m just expecting help to find a stable home for my family.

It's difficult op. What part of the country are you in? Are you in London?

Your situation is unfortunately not unique, there are hundreds of families with young children waiting to be housed.

Some will have been in temporary or emergency accommodation already for some time. You will be high priority, but obviously so will many other families, some in hostels, some fleeing domestic violence.

all they need to do is remove me from this situation

You make it sound easy, but the reality is they don't have enough homes for the families wanting to be housed. If you hang in there and try to be realistic about what they can do, you will almost certainly get something.

I hope no one thinks I’m expecting a house handed to me. I’m just expecting help to find a stable home for my family.

That is a big responsibility to hand over to an overloaded service. Remember how difficult you have found it, and bear in mind that your housing department has no magic wands. At the moment you are effectively saying "This task is completely impossible for me, but should be no trouble for you, so why haven't you done it already?"

Op it can't hurt! ask him!

Op, totally understand where you are coming from and the system is absolutely awful in terms of giving people any idea what will happen or where they will end up, and with kids it’s even harder because you feel like you’ve failed as a parent.

I have 4 children, I’m a single parent. And Similar to you I was given a section 21 by landlord who wanted to move back to the U.K. and live in his house. I got this in the September and was out by the February. The only difference really is, I had to pack up the house put my things in storage farm out my cats and my kids and present myself to the council as homeless and ask for temp accommodation. I did 2 weeks in b&b & 2 weeks in a halfway property which was ok, could’ve been worse but kids viewed it as a holiday and we kept things light hearted - youngest asd so I was struggling underneath it all. Eventually got a house (temp) with 3 beds in it, stank of smoke. Eventually got 2 extra beds (council don’t allow you to use any of your own furniture) they did order me an extra chair for living room as only a 2 seater couch and one chair. 3 of my kids share a room eldest is in little more than a cupboard it’s a v small house. Everything breaks it’s green, the carpet, the couches, the curtains it’s vile. But the boys have settled - it’s been 3 years and we are still in limbo it’s very hard it’s not the life I wanted for us and it’s so uncertain. There are no kids roundabout we are miles from school etc. Not to say we will get anywhere local and I’ve been declined for anything Private as I don’t earn enough even for 2 bed properties.
Op it’s bloody hard, just do what the council ask and keep asking for support from shelter etc I agree letting a mum and 3 kids sit not knowing if they’ll have bailiffs at the door is awful and your health must be suffering with the worry. I think it just depends what temp housing they have at the time, depends what the advice is. I hope things work out, it will be a time of upheaval but once you get a temp property try and settle as much as you can. I never thought it would be 3 years but here we are. The kids are fine and we are ok.
Take care of yourself and just keep on at your caseworker.

And everyone saying this is Normal obviously has never had it done to them!

^^ it really shouldn't be the new normal. Houses are constantly going up near me that are nowhere near affordable. There's obviously a need for affordable social housing yet all that's being built is private expensive new builds

@TheYearOfSmallThings

The difference is the council have access to people/things I do not.

Have you ever had this happen to you?
If you haven’t you won’t ever understand the stress and of it.
It makes you feel as though you can’t provide for your children. Which is the worst feeling in the world as a parent

@inmyslippers

And near me too! villages of properties have been built just round the corner from me!

My frustration isn’t helped when I know I’m in the wrong banding also that people I know aren’t in as worse of a position as me have been housed before me!

I can’t even describe how stressed I feel and all I want is a stable home for my children

@Crappyfridays7

I’m so sorry you’ve been going through that for so long!!
It’ll happen for you soon just keep putting out positivity into the universe!

I also cannot afford to rent privately 2 bedrooms near me are atleast £1200 and a 3 bed which I need well into £1400+!

I sympathise with you because I understand how you’re feeling and it’s awful!
The stress/anxiety I feel daily stops be eating I’ve lost so much weight and my hair has started falling out from stress! And on top of it all I suffer with panic attacks now aswell!
It’s easy for people to say just wait but everyone deals with stress different they’ve also probably never been through this ordeal!

I really hope you get your forever home soon

Most people threatened with homelessness and awaiting formal eviction are in a similar process.

It would be hard to go through this system without it affecting your mental health! It is hard. Many, many people approach with mental illhealth. Including people being referred on from hospitals.
So while they will want to be aware of your MH situation it's far from unusual. And it's not likely to change anything.

Actually being in temporary accommodation can be even worse than the lead up. As here (don't know your location) you only get 1 choice and it can be miles away or horrible. I'd keep looking at PR properties as well.

Hi

I have just had to evict my tenant recently as I was moving back in to my property- she wanted to move in to a HA property- I issued the section 21 then had to take her to court and the advise to tenant was to wait till bailiffs came.

During Covid bailiffs aren't currently working on evictions (or weren't in lockdown ) the housing only moved her up a band once the court date had passed and they had given her an eviction date - but I couldn't get her out as bailiffs weren't working..

Luckily she managed to get to HA property and moved out at the beginning of Jan.

It's a nightmare for all involved have you tried speaking to shelter? My tenant had a support worker who did help and communicated with the council on her behalf.

Good luck hope it works out for you.

@carryme

Oh really I will talk to shelter.
I’m just not sure the council are taking the way this is affecting me seriously as I’m really struggling with this.

Thank you

@carryme sorry do you mind telling me how long it took to get the court order?

@mumofboysxo
Thank you, it’s really hard and until you’re in the situation no one can know how unsettling and scary it is, your control is taken away and you’re relying on a council etc for your families security it’s horrible.
I really hope you get some sort of answers soon, i hate to hear of people going through the same as me, and I think what you’re going through is worse due to the uncertainty of eviction/bailiffs etc i can’t imagine that.

Problem with a larger family and private rent is, unless you get a private landlord that doesn’t do affordability checks/asks about housing benefit etc letting agencies won’t look at you not even for a 1/2 bed place as you’re then overcrowded and as op has said they are £££ anyway in her area so depends how much housing benefit will stretch to you’re not going to even be considered for anything private. I am a nurse - part time due to sons asd & childcare so I earn a decent wage. I get pennies for hb and pay the rent myself but a 3/4 bed house here is £1400 upwards that is more than I earn. I’ve tried all I can but decided to stay here until we are housed.

We are in Yorkshire but the whole process about 10 months

2 months notice on the section 21 (I think it's now gone up to 3 months) but I gave notice just before that changed...then waiting for a court date etc especially in covid times everything took forever.

@carryme

Oh wow 10 months! We got out section 21 in October and it’s over at the end of this month!

Hopefully we don’t have to wait that long because I don’t want to feel like this for much longer

[quote mumofboysxo]@inmyslippers

I completely agree especially with 3 young children. Not knowing what is happening and when is unfair as we have no security or stability!

And everyone saying this is Normal obviously has never had it done to them!

I don't think the importance of a safe and stable environment can be overstated![/quote]
This will make no difference at all the the housing criteria. Everyone in your position is stressed, with no security or stability. Everyone in your position just wants a home for their family. If they could give you a house they would but they can't so they have to prioritise.

Once you have been evicted you will be placed in some sort of accommodation. Probably emergency like B&B or something. Then you will wait until something more permanent comes along. It's very difficult but there will be people ahead of you on the list and their need is just as important as yours. The priority will be keeping children off the streets in whatever way they can.

@WallaceinAnderland
Have you been through this?

[quote mumofboysxo]@WallaceinAnderland
Have you been through this?[/quote]
I have helped people in your situation and seen how devastating it can be but luckily not been through it myself so far (never say never). It is an awful situation to be in but unfortunately it is what it is. They simply cannot house everyone who needs it in property that they prefer.

All you can do is make sure the people who need to know (housing officer, etc.) are completely up to date with your current situation, get advice from shelter and keep looking for private rented whilst you wait to be evicted. Also, the advice from others on this thread will help and keep posting for support.

NC for this.

I've been in a situation where I was waiting to be housed, but not with children.

In 2008 I was living with a landlord who became a rapist.

It was in east anglia. had nowhere to go aside from a shop doorway. I had to lock my door every night and put my chest of drawers in front of it.

8 months as "high priority" to be housed.

If you have no other option sit tight until they forcibly evict you. As in when the bailiffs come. Otherwise they will claim you left voluntarily and made yourself homeless so you will drop down the list. That's what happened to me.

OP, I fully understand how difficult and scary this must be.
BUT you’re not technically homeless yet and you won’t be until the bailiffs evict you all out of the home.
As others have stated, council housing is at an absolute premium in most places.
I know you said that you had spoken to Shelter, maybe phone them back?
I would also, as a PP suggest, get in touch with your local social services office and ask them to help too.
Also, you have said where you actually live, would you consider relocating? In my area (Ayrshire) you can privately rent a 3 bedroom for roughly £500 pcm.
I do wish you well, I can only imagine how bad this all must feel. Did the GP give you antidepressants?

@FelicityPike

I understand that I’m not homeless yet but as I’ve said before emergency housing with my son who I’m in the process of getting a autism/adhd diagnosis for would not cope and he needs warning to prepare himself as he’s a very very anxious boy.
I’m not asking for a council house and I think this is where people are getting confused I’m asking for help to find housing!
My council help you private rent with landlords have private properties they run and also social housing aswell as housing assoc.

Unfortunately I would not re locate as my children’s re near family and they need to see their dad. I wouldn’t want to take him away from them.

Yes the gp has given me anti depressants I was referred to a social prescriber and a councillor.

People keep saying Mental health isn’t taken into consideration by the council and why would it not be? God forbid someone got to the point of being suicidal and they didn’t help? They would be liable?
Thankfully I am not at that stage but their is only so long you can pretend things are okay for. And also everyone deals with things differently and this is bloody hard

@Crappyfridays7

I just don’t understand why the council don’t take mental health into consideration?
What if someone was at the point of suicidal thoughts or was harming themselves?
Luckily I’m not at that point but it doesn’t mean I’m coping and I’m just being disregarded!

My son needs warning so bailiffs etc are something I’m trying to fight to sop happening as were in the process of getting a diagnosis for either adhd or autism they’re just starting his checks so he needs a lot of answers because he’s very anxious and worried about anything and everything.

We’re private rent now and was lucky because the landlord did no affordability checks!
But I’ve not been lucky enough to find anything like that again!
I hope you get a home soon for yourself and your children you’re dealing with it so well!
Thank you for all the advice you’re giving me.
I just want them to put me in the banding I should be and give Salem understanding with my mental health. As it’s this situation that’s caused it!!

"I just don’t understand why the council don’t take mental health into consideration?"

What should they do to accommodate you MH situation? When the majority of applicants will be suffering ill health or ill mental health. Being threatened with homelessness is hard for anyone and drives a lot of people to illness, if they weren't already suffering. They have to follow a process.

Firstly OP have you got contraception in place? It sounds like the last thing you need is another baby in the mix.

Nextly, I’m a bit confused - you say you have no support and the dad isn’t in the picture, but then go on to say you can’t relocate as you live near family and their dad?

Can you tell us where about s you live (just city name or county etc?) the first thing I would do is ring around local charities seeing if you can get some help that way.

Please have a bit of a think about your long term plan once you’re settled in terms of work and paying for your own accommodation. It’s the only way you can guarantee your own stability for your children.